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A  RAGGED  REGISTER 


(OF  PEOPLE  PLACES  AND  OPINIONS) 


BY 


ANNA     E.     DICKINSON 


NEW     YORK 
HARPER     &     BROTHERS,    PUBLISHERS 

F  R  A  N  K  T,  I  N      SQUARE 

1    879 


Entered  according  to  Act  of  Congress,  in  the  year  1879,  by 

HARPER    &     BROTHERS, 
In  the  Office  of  the  Librarian  of  Congress,  at  Washington. 


a 


TO 

MY    MOTHER 

FOR  WHOSE   ENTERTAINMENT  THE   MANUSCRIPT  OF  THIS  BOOK  WAS 
ORIGINALLY  PENNED 


3  JDebtcate  %  JJrinteir 


ivi578448 


A  BAGGED  REGISTER. 


i. 

I  WANT  to  go  somewhere  away  from  city  walls 
and  sewer  smells  and  "L"  abominations.  Of 
that  I  am  sure — but  where  f 

"  Where  ?"  did  I  hear  you,  my  invisible  friend, 
echo  ?  "  Where  !  Why  there  are  fifty  places- 
Yes  ;  I  know.     Unluckily,  it  is  the  things  you 
dortt  want  that  are  always  accessible. 

Let  me  consider.  Let  me  sit  down  and  ponder 
for  a  space  over  the  ragged  register  of  times  and 
places  that  in  some  sort  has  been  kept  by  my 
brain.  A  shabby -looking  book,  mutilated  and 
half  effaced,  still  it  may  help  me  from  stand-still 
to  action  and — who  knows  ? — serve  as  a  bit  of 
amusement  to  you  by  the  way. 

Shall  we  go  a-fishing  ?  No.  To  the  sea  \  No. 
To  the  springs  ?  No.  Is  it  to  the  mountains  we 
will  wend  ?  If  so,  by  which  path  and  to  what 
ending  ? 


6  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

It  shall  not  be  the  Adirondacks,  since  I  am 
sufficiently  a  sybarite  to  object  to  smoke  and 
gnats  and  to  look  with  disfavor  upon  manifold 
wettings  with  an  insufficiency  of  drying  sun 
shine. 

Nor  yet  the  White  Hills.  If  they  were  lying 
under  an  autumn  sun  they  would  be  tempting? 
but  now—  —  ? 

Times  a  many  have  I  made  my  pilgrimage  to 
this  summer  shrine  in  summer  weather,  only  to 
sneeze  and  shiver  through  dreary  days  and  weeks, 
and  leave  with  a  strong  determination  to  do  pen 
ance  nevermore  ;  and  yet  have  been  tempted  by 
renewed  seasons  to  repeated  efforts  and  exasper 
ating  disappointments. 

Twenty-seven  times  had  I  gazed  from  the  sum 
mit  of  Mount  Washington  at  tossing  clouds  and 
sombre  or  ghostly  mists,  when  the  resplendent 
beauty  of  a  summer  morning  tempted  me  to  a 
tenth  foot  expedition  and  twenty -eighth  ascent. 

To  be  sure,  if  there  is  "  luck  in  odd  numbers" 
and  the  converse  is  also  true,  I  had  but  an  ill 
showing — but  what  of  that!  "  He  either  fears 
his  fate  too  much  or  his  deserts  are  small  "  who 
does  not  dare  much  and  also  dare  often. 

With  humility  I  have  decided  that,  in  this  case 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  7 

at  least,  my  deserts  are  small.  Doubtless  I  had 
too  often  scoffed  at  what  this  height  could  reveal 
to  receive  from  it  even  justice,  and  certainly  to 
be  deemed  unworthy  of  any  display  of  generosity. 

As  I  and  my  stick  went  our  way  to  the  moun 
tain' s  base,  the  air  was  crystal  clear.  Crystal 
clear  it  remained  as  I  tramped  over  the  miles  that 
wind  through  the  trees  dwarfed  and  tempest  scar 
red.  Crystal  clear  was  its  mood  when — the  woods 
abandoned,  the  scrub  pines  left  behind,  the  last 
straggling  spear  of  dreary  vegetation  vanished — 
the  skirmish  across  the  bleak  ledges  began. 

Now  or  never  !  thought  I,  as  I  tramped  out  on 
the  first  of  these.  If  the  air  stays  clear  I  will  ab 
jure  my  heresies  and  subscribe  to  the  faith  of 
those  who  believe  that  New  England  mountains 
are  to  be  reckoned  in  the  same  catalogue  of  saints 
as  those  that  lift  their  solemn  majesties  toward 
the  heavenly  azure  of  the  western  skies. 

I  trudged  along  in  a  desperate  faith,  born  per 
haps  of  hope,  certainly  not  of  experience,  and 
directly  plunged  into  the  soft  fuzz  of  a  nebu 
lous  cloud,  and  plunged  out  of  it  into  chastened 
sunshine. 

Up  and  down  drifted  mists  and  vapors  lovely 
enough  in  themselves,  and  objects  to  be  admired, 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

had  I  not  had  a  surfeit  of  them  in  past  times  ;  but, 
here  and  there,  as  I  paused  at  this  or  that  ledge, 
some  such  royal  views  broke  upon  the  vision  as 
to  assure  me  of  imperial  splendor  at  the  mountain- 
top. 

Alas  for  faith  and  hope  together  !  When  within 
two  miles  of  the  summit  I  fell  into  the  close  em 
brace  of  wind  and  cloud — and  liked  not  the  com 
panionship. 

Not  a  foot  could  I  see  from  me,  around,  above, 
below.  No  rain  fell,  but  the  clouds  penetrated 
garments  and  body  together  till  both  felt  sodden. 
The  wind  napped  and  veered,  blowing  not  from 
one  quarter,  nor  yet  as  from  a  distance,  but  slap 
ping  and  striking,  now  on  face,  now  on  feet,  in 
chest  or  back  or  side  as  with  a  solitary  hand  of 
some  huge  creature  who  stood  close  to  play  his 
painful  pranks,  and  in  an  instant  vanished  to 
assail  from  fresh  vantage  ground. 

Long  before  the  cone  was  reached,  giant  and 
pranks  had  fled.  The  air  was  dense  and  dark  to 
a  palpable  gloom,  and  the  wind  seemed  a  tangible 
wall  that  wras  not  broken  through  by  strenuous 
effort,  but  that  merely  gave  way  before  it,  inch 
by  inch,  and  sullenly.  I  would  thrust  my  pole 
forward,  brace,  run  the  intervening  steps  to  its 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

rest,  halt,  take  breath,  and  so  on  with  a  new 
struggle. 

It  was  rough  work,  but  the  sense  of  solitude 
and  uncertainty,  of  fighting  the  wild  elements— 
the  wild  elements  themselves  in  their  first  rigor, 
their  fury  newly  wrought  and  unexpended — was 
more  than  ample  pay. 

Still,  as  I  went  my  devious  way  up  the  final 
climb,  the  road  and  its  guidance  ending  with  the 
base  of  the  cone,  knowing  not  whether  I  was 
nearing  my  destination,  or  was  aimlessly  con 
tending  with  difficulties,  I  was  not  sorry  to  hear  a 
cheery  voice  call : 

"  What  ho  !— Comrade  !" 

"  What  ho  !"  called  I  in  return,  and  with  di 
vers  shouts  and  salutations  heard  with  difficulty 
through  the  noise  of  the  storm,  my  friendly 
seeker  found  me,  and  we  trudged  over  the  scanty 
space  remaining  with  ease  and  good  cheer. 

We  had  alike  climbed  in  the  Sierras,  and  the 
Coast  Ranges,  and  the  Rocky  Mountains,  "but," 
said  he,  "never  found  I  aught  more  forbidding 
and  tiresome  than  the  merciless  harshness  of  this 
ragged  granite,  and  the  frightful  impenetrability 
of  this  fog.  I  have  been  wandering  for  hours  on 
the  Crawford  side,  before  reaching  the  summit, 


10  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

and  when  I  heard  that  yon  intended  coming  np 
to-day,  and  that  a  lady  had  been  seen  on  the 
lower  ledges  some  time  before  the  storm  shut 
down,  I  thought,  she  will  find  this  harder  work 
than  she  has  found  higher  climbs,  and  if  she  is 
half  as  lonely  and  blue  as  /  felt  before  getting 
out  of  the  beastly  fog,  she  won't  object  to  the 
word  and  the  sight  of  a  friendly  human  being." 
Sight  and  word  were  welcome. 

II. 

As  I  went,  that  afternoon,  over  to  the  Signal- 
Service  house,  I  wondered  what  one  of  the  young 
fellows  there  would  have  given  for  a  touch  of  hu 
man  companionship  through  some  dread  days  and 
nights  that,  to  him,  were  filled  with  worse  than 
solitude. 

The  cabin  was  small,  yet  too  large  to  keep 
warm  or  dry  ;  contracted,  yet  too  extensive  to 
grasp  and  hold  even  a  show  of  comfort.  The 
outer  division  filled  with  supplies,  the  centre  de 
voted  to  stove  and  cooking  necessities,  the  little 
room  at  the  inner  end  crowded  with  the  scientific 
apparatus,  writing-table,  bed,  stove,  living  and 
working  tools  of  two  men.  The  carpet  rotted  to 
shreds,  the  paper  and  canvas  hanging  in  festoons 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  11 

from  the  saturated  walls,  the  windows  abbreviat 
ed  and  opaque  ! — a  dreary  and  inhospitable  place 
in  autumn  mist  and  wind,  a  blot  in  a  summer 
sunshine,  what  then  must  have  been  this  shelter 
to  two  men,  when,  for  seven  months,  it  constituted 
to  them  the  whole  habitable  world  ? 

Alone  on  a  mountain,  and  the  mountain  not 
approached  even  at  its  base  through  the  bleak 
and  furious  winter  ;  snow  and  sleet,  wind  and 
hail  raging  about  them,  the  air  dense,  the  storm 
around  them  oftentimes  moving  at  the  rate  of  a 
hundred  and  forty  miles  an  hour  ;  their  sole  link 
of  communication  with  the  living  and  thinking  unL 
verse,  a  tiny  thread  of  steel,  constantly  menaced, 
spite  of  its  cable  covering,  by  the  savage  blasts. 

Even  with  the  elasticity  of  youth  and  health, 
doubtless  some  weights  clogged  their  spirits ; 
what,  then,  must  the  one  and  the  other  have  en 
dured,  as,  in  the  midst  of  the  wildest  storm 
even  this  bleak  solitude  ever  knew,  with  all  pos 
sibility  of  succor  or  help  annihilated,  the  one 
sank,  step  by  step,  through  fever  and  delirium  to 
death' s  repose,  and  the  other,  powerless  to  stay  or 
to  save,  watched  his  comrade  die,  and  then  sat 
through  days  and  nights  in  this  sorrowful  com 
panionship  ! 


12  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

When,  through  superhuman  exertions,  at  last 
assistance  came,  to  this  lonely  watcher  it  must 
have  seemed  like  the  opening  of  the  tomb. 

Since  then,  three  gallant  young  fellows  wait  and 
serve  science,  sheltered  by  better  and  warmer 
quarters,  perched  on  this  inhospitable  peak.  I 
hope  that  nothing  worse  than  health,  content  and 
happiness  may  come  into  their  heroic  work  and 
lives. 

"  My  view  ?" 

I  had  no  view. 

As  I  sneezed  and  growled  through  the  after 
noon  I  bethought  me  of  a  fearful  and  wonderful 
woman  arrayed  in  a  purple  velvet  riding-habit, 
whom  I  had  beheld  on  the  apex  of  Washington, 
in  the  days  of  shoddy  and  '66,  who  hurried  out 
of  the  Tip  Top  House,  and  into  her  saddle,  ex 
claiming,  with  unconcealed  and  uncompromising 
disgust,  ' '  Well !  what  in  the  world  people  do 
climb  all  this  way  up  this  nasty  mountain 
to  get  dinner  for,  when  they  can  feed  a  great 
deal  better  down  to  one  of  the  hotels,  beats 
me!" 

It  beat  me.  If  I  hadn't  come  up  these  twenty- 
eight  times  for  my  dinner,  and  a  precious  bad  one 
at  that,  for  what  had  I  come  up  ?  Certainly  that 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER.  13 

was  the  extent  of  my  gaining  and  getting  when  I 
was  up. 

But  being  down,  after  many  asseverations  of 
"no  never"— finally  modified  to  "  well— hardly 
—ever"  again  will  I  go— I  went ;  but  this  time  in 
autumn,  followed  again  and  yet  again  by  Septem 
ber  sights,  and  tramps,  and  climbs  that  were 
present  delights  and  memories  for  a  life. 

Moral !  Stay  away  from  the  White  Hills  in  sum 
mer,  leave  them  then  to  the  folks  who  know  no 
better;  yet  thou,  0  friend!  being  wise  and  fol 
lowing  wise  instruction,  will  be  sure  of  happiness 
if  thy  feet  turn  that  way  through  golden  time 
and  weather. 

III. 

No  White  Hills.     What  of  the  Catskills,  then  ? 

For  somebody  else — if  somebody  else  will,  but 
for  me — no. 

Beautiful « 

Very  beautiful — a  trifie  misty. 

Good  for  artists  ? 

Yes  ;  unfortunately  I  am  not  an  artist. 

And  then  I  never  see  them  without  a  shiver, 
and  I  like  summer  warmth  with  summer  season. 

Shiver  of  passing  cold  ? 


14  A  RAGGED  REGISTER 

No.     Of  remembrance. 

Once  upon  a  time  —  time  January  night — I 
went  my  way  to  R — .  The  river  was  open, 
though  the  ice  threatened,  and  the  boat  uttered 
lamentable  wails  as  the  great  "  chunks"  jammed 
it. 

Will  it  grow  warmer  \  Colder  ?  Close  \  Dis 
perse  2  What  will  it  do  ?  queried  I,  prodded 
by  anxious  thought  of  the  next  night' s  work. 

The  next  night  was  marked  for  New  York,  and 
a  New  York  audience  is  one  that  having  once 
faced  with  favor  one  is  always  eager  to  face  again. 
'Tis  better  than  a  cordial — warm,  quick,  respon 
sive,  helpful,  the  most  thoroughly  generous  and 
friendly  one  the  continent  has  to  show. 

Also  a  New  York  fee  is  by  no  means  one  to 
despise.- 

Alas  !  thought  I,  if  this  costs  me  that,  duty 
will  not  be  its  own  reward.  I  shall  cry  with 
vexation. 

A  night  filled  with  wrathful  voices  of  wind  and 
storm,  a  leaden  morning,  frightfully  cold  spite  of 
the  struggling  fire.  ' '  Thirty  below. ' '  is  the  cheer 
ing  response  to  my  impatient  and  chattering  in 
quiry. 

"  Boat  running  3" 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  15 

"Oh,  710." 

"  Going  to." 

"  Can't." 

"Not  even  try  V 

"Not  much!  Couldn't  cut  through  that  ice 
if  she  was  made  of  hatchets." 

"  How  is  any  one  to  reach  the  train  f 

"Can't reach  it." 

"But  if  they  must." 

"  Must  will  have  to  take  a  rest."     A  pause. 

"  One  might  drive  across." 

"  No  one  mightn't." 

"Why  not?" 

c '  Would  go  to  the  bottom  Erectly.  There 
hain'  t  no  path  been  marked,  and  the  ice  will  be 
oncertain,  in  spots  and  places.  A  horse  would 
smash  through  in  a  jiffy  where  a  man  might 
go." 

"  One  could  walk  across." 

"  Meaning  yourself,  miss  ?" 

"Of  course." 

"Much,"  with  a  grin.  "A  fellow  as  big  as 
two  of  the  biggest  one  there,"  indicating  a  group 
of  boatmen  round  the  bar-room  fire,  "  would  be 
blown  over  like  a  feather." 

"  Well,  two  of  them,  with  a  sled  and  me  on  it, 


16  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

and  piles  of  buffalo  robes,  and  plenty  of  money 
in  their  pockets,  wouldn't,  then— would  they?" 
say  I. 

A  palaver  follows,  with  a  sequence  of  assent 
to  the  request  insinuated. 

Three  miles  across.  No  sun.  A  few  spitting 
flakes  frozen  in  the  air.  The  wind  through  the 
gorge  made  by  the  high  river  banks  howling  like 
a  wild  beast  eager  to  seize— seizing  its  prey.  We 
were  whirled  round  and  round,  upset,  straight 
ened,  twisted  over  and  over,  righted — went  on  our 
way. 

Three  hours  of  mortal  agony  :  that  is  enough 
to  say.  Men  were  watching  us,  ran  down  to  the 
river  bank,  helped  us  up,  stopped  to  expostulate 
with  some  people  who  would  get  into  a  sleigh, 
stopped  to  watch  them  off,  and  call  a  last  warn 
ing,  stopped  to  see  them  get  twenty  yards  from 
shore,  then  one  and  all  vanish,  in  an  instant, 
never  to  rise  again. 

I  was  trotted  to  and  fro  on  the  platform  by 
some  friendly  disposed  boatmen,  who  mercifully 
kept  me  from  the  fire,  and,  still  half  frozen,  was 
put  aboard  the  train. 

The  train  was  late,  and  "  kept  on  losing  time" 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  17 

all  the  way  down.  Two  engines  ;  but  the  tre 
mendous  head  wind  almost  stayed  us. 

Had  telegraphed.  Audience  waited.  Reached 
depot  at  8.30  P.M.  Plunged  into  hack.  Double 
fare.  Gained  the  dear  old  dingy  "  Institute"  at 
9.  Teeth  chattering.  Stomach  chattering  (no 
nourishment  for  thirteen  hours).  Fingers  stiff. 
Feet  like  wooden  clogs.  Winter  cold  through 
and  through  me.  Was  there  to  talk  about 
a  theme  —  which  theme  was  not  myself  — 
did  not  amplify  on  the  day's  miseries,  but 
plunged  into  the  subject  advertised — in  a  word, 
kept  my  engagement  with  the  public  to  the  best 
of  my  ability— and  was  kept  reminded  of  the  fact 
through  some  weeks  thereafter  by  means  of  divers 
physical  telegraph  wires. 

And  then  2 

Well,  then,  after  the  whole  matter  was  accom 
plished, ,  who  has  said  a  great  many  witty  and 

good  things,  and  a  many  more  of  bitter  and  un 
just  things  to  and  about  women,  in  one  of  her 
diatribes  uses  that  night  and  the  waiting  audi 
ence  as  illustration  of  the  assertion  that  women 
never  know  the  value  of  time,  and  have  no  sense 
of  honor  concerning  business  engagements. 

"  Why,"  says  she,  "  could  she  not  have  spent 
2 


18  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

less  time  on  her  dress,  or  have  left  her  home  in  a 
neighboring  city  on  an  earlier  train  ?" 

Precisely. 

Under  the  circumstances  the  question  is  both 
just  and  pertinent. 

I  Jiave  heard  that  somebody  did  once  ask  Mr. 
Beecher  whether  a  man  would  have  gone  through 
that  to  have  kept  a  lecture  engagement,  and  that  he 
did  answer,  "  No  ;  no  man  would  have  been  such 
a  fool."  And  was  justified  in  the  saying,  only  he 
should  remember  that  the  world,  in  reasonable 
fashion,  demands  of  a  woman  that  she  do  twice 
as  much  as  a  man  to  prove  that  she  can  equal  him. 

IV. 

Not  to  the  Catskills  \  Nor  Niagara  ?  Nor 
Saratoga  ?  Nor  the  Lake  country  ?  Nor  the 
Glens  ? 

To  none  of  these. 

Suppose  one  halts  for  a  summer's  rest  in  Penn 
sylvania  ? 

Pretty « 

Pretty  !  I  should  say  so.  There  is  a  place 
crowded  wTith  beauties.  Had  the  people  of  that 
commonwealth  one  half  the  energy  that  is  shown 
by  New  York  and  New  England  to  draw  and  hold 


A   NAGGED  REGfSTER.  10 

tourists,  the  State  through  summer,  and  far  more 
through  autumn  glory,  would  be  overrun. 

If  Mauch  Chunk  had  some  right-minded  hotels 
on  its  near  heights,  it  would  be  a  hot-weather  par 
adise.  The  Lehigh  River  winds  past  it,  with  in 
numerable  devious  turns  through  open  country 
and  mountain  ridges  that  are  as  exceptional  in 
broad  beauty  as  are  the  glens  and  nooks,  caves 
and  waterfalls  in  miniature  charm  ;  and  there  is 
the  Switchback  where  one  can  have  the  delight 
of  being  pulled  by  stationary  engines  up  one  rise 
of  six  hundred  feet  in  a  length  of  twenty-two 
hundred,  then  another  of  five  hundred  feet  in  a 
length  of  two  thousand,  and  then,  taking  the 
' '  back  track, ' '  can  return  by  gravity  over  some 
miles  of  travel,  without  engine  and  without  ob 
struction,  that  will  suggest  the  flight  of  a  bird 
through  the  air. 

The  town  itself  seems  as  though  it  couldn't 
breathe  very  well  from  having  its  ribs  jammed  in  ; 
as  you  enter  it  looks  as  though  it  has  space  for 
about  an  hundred  houses  ;  but,  terrace  beyond 
terrace,  the  kitchen  garden  of  one  house  tres 
passing  on  the  front-door  of  another,  the  town 
holds  five  or  six  thousand  souls. 

And  from  this  unique  spot  one  can  so  easily  slip 


20  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

away  to  Wilkesbarre  and  the  Wyoming  Valley, 
which  is  the  "  happy  valley" —happy  in  loveli 
ness,  lying  under  the  face  of  mountains  that  are 
"  delectable"  beneath  either  a  summer  or  a  win 
ter  sky. 

And  there  is  the  Cumberland  Valley,  framed  in 
the  delicious  swells  of  the  Bine  Ridge,  a  delight 
to  look  upon,  its  beauty  enhanced  by  the  abound 
ing  prosperity  every  where  made  manifest  in  noble 
old  houses,  places  exquisitely  kept,  barns  as  pic 
turesque  as  they  are  liberal,  fields  that  show  food 
for  a  nation,  and  "  cattle  on  a  thousand  hills." 

Nobody  looks  poor  nor  suggests  poverty. 

The  people,  I  should  judge,  are  given  generally 
to  few  excitements,  few  changes,  and  great  tenacity 
of  grip  when  they  do  seize  upon  an  experience  or 
an  idea. 

"  I  surmise  Mr.  John  B.  Gough  is  somewhat 
top-topical,"  commented  a  well-to-do  native  in 
my  hearing,  "lifted  up  by  his  great  successes. 
I  went  to  shake  hands  with  him  when  he  was  here 
last  week,  and  he  actually  did  not  know  me, 
though  I  was  introduced  to  and  talked  with  him 
for  some  time  after  one  of  his  lectures  at  the 
Academy  of  Music,  in  Philadelphia,  five  years 
ago." 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  21 

That  man  ought  to  have  made  the  acquaintance 
of  another  man  who  came  to  me  at  Altoona,  with 
the  reasonable  request  that  I  would  tell  him  all 
the  towns  in  the  State. 

"  You  are  travelling  all  the  time,"  said  he, 
"and  I  suppose  have  gone  up  and  down,  and 
over  and  about  every  square  inch  of  this  State, 
and  must  know  all  of  its  towns  by  heart.  Now  I 
am  a  Pennsylvanian,  and  very  proud  of  being 
such ' '  (he  evidently  was  not  familiar  with  its  rep 
resentative,  Col.  Thomas  Scott's  private  prop 
erty,  which  private  property  the  Pennsylvania 
legislature  is  popularly  reported  to  be),  ' i  and  I 
would  like  to  become  more  familiar  with  my  own 
State,  and,  if  you  please,  I  would  like  to  call  on 
you  to-morrow,  and  secure  some  information  in  a 
friendly  talk  with  you,  and  will,  at  the  same 
time,  jot  down  a  list  of  the  towns,  together  with 
any  facts  concerning  them  that  may  lie  handy 
in  your  memory."" 

Let  us  not  pause  here.  No.  Lest  he  still  lie 
in  wait  with  his  reasonable  category,  let  us  flee 
away,  away,  and,  in  response  to  the  invitation 
given  me  long  since  by  an  enthusiastic  soul,  let 
us  "  rush  to  the  arms  of  the  Great  West  and 
swing  out  into  Destiny." 


22  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 


V. 


'Tis  a  wide  swing. 

Query  : —  Where  shall  one  fall  off  ? 

In  Minnesota  ?  Somewhere  in  the  region  of  the 
Upper  Mississippi  ? 

Comfort  forbids. 

All  through  its  basin  the  summers  are  as  much 
too  hot  as  the  winters  are  cold.  Never  went  I 
there  without  finding  pleasure  in  many  things — 
among  them  the  fact  that  my  lot  in  life  was 
not  hedged  by  these  boundaries.  The  air  is 
so  thin  and  clear,  and  holds  so  little  moisture 
as  to  be  an  unobstructed  medium  for  either 
heat  or  cold,  and,  as  I  there  heard  defined,  they 
"  boom"  through  it  accordingly. 

Suppose  one  drops  down  at  Chicago  1  Agreed. 
Long  enough,  at  least,  to  discover  that  there  are 
fifty  places  of  summer  resort  not  half  so  delight 
ful  in  June  weather  as  this  city. 

So  it  seems  to  me. 

But  then  Chicago  is  one  of  my  weaknesses. 

Still  I  think  the  open  country  will  be  better 
than  the  contraction  of  these  walls,  so  we  will 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  23 

To  California  ?  By  way  of  Omaha  and  the 
U.  P.  I" 

I  don't  know. 

To  California  went  I  ten  years  ago,  and  I  won 
der  whether  the  memory  will  not  be  better  than  a 
fresh  reality  ? 

From  time  to  time,  as  one  halts  by  the  way, 
one  can  see  Omaha  grow  and  improve  and  beau 
tify  ;  but  has  it  the  early  charm  ? 

Coming  into  it  now  is  like  coming  into  San 
Francisco  from  the  mountains  or  into  New  York 
from  the  surrounding  creation.  There  is  the  cos 
mopolitan  air,  city  and  no  mistake,  that  your  born 
cockney  and  old  campaigner  alike  delight  in. 

What  hotels  it  has,  and  what  a  hotel,  and  what 
reasonable  prices,  and  what  capital  restaurants 
and  attractive  shops— Paris  ware  and  Indian  ware 
jostling  each  other — and  what  wide,  fine  streets, 
and  handsome  houses,  and  enterprising  papers, 
and  what  courteous  editors,  and,  above  all,  what 
frank,  friendly,  active,  wideawake  people ! 
Omaha  is  a  vital  place.  That  is  the  long  and  the 
short  of  the  matter,  and  the  people  who  abide 
there  are  not  content  to  simply  exist.  They  are 
alive,  and  they  are  alive  all  through. 

Still,  it  has  lost  something  of  the  delight  it  held 


24:  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

for  the  "  '  Sixty -niners. "  Its  "  free  and  easy' '  air 
is  quite  gone  since  it  has  grown  respectable  and 
solidly  prosperous. 

That  summer,  people  felt  they  had  reached  the 
jumping-off  place,  and  acted  accordingly.  Heavy 
business  men  and  staid  matrons,  grave  doctors 
and  learned  lawyers,  fashionable  fine  ladies,  Con 
gressional  committees  and  committees'  attendants, 
ran  and  drove  to  and  fro,  and  "  viewed  the  land 
scape  o'er,"  with  a  sense  of  freedom  and  emanci 
pation  from  restraint  such  as  never  blessed  them 
before. 

Now  one  goes  through  from  Chicago  to  Council 
Bluffs  across  the  bridge  to  Omaha,  and  so  onward 
without  incident ;  but  then,  every  one,  when  fair 
ly  over  the  ferry  and  out  of  the  big  omnibuses, 
made  for  Cozzen's,  and  a  bath,  and  a  good 
supper,  and  a  long  delicious  sunset  and  twilight 
time  on  the  upper  verandas,  and  a  universal 
handshaking  as  one,  and  another,  and  another 
party  drove  up  or  came  in  ;  for  somehow  all  of  us 
who  went  over  the  first  summer  were  acquainted, 
and  everybody  laughed  and  was  happy,  and  con 
gratulated  everybody  else  on  being  able  to  see 
"all  out-doors." 

Also  everybody  put  in  a  personal  claim  on  the 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  25 

giant  enterprise  that  was  to  put  us  through. 
What  was  the  use  of  the  People  building  a  Pacific 
Iload  if  the  People  could  not  ride  on  it  as  they  saw 
fit.  The  officers  needed  to  be  good-natured — with 
the  rest  of  us — and  they  were. 

3.57  P.M.  ;  train  time  out,  4  P.M. 

"  Is  Miss  D—  aboard  this  car  ?"  calls  the  cheery 
voice  of  the  efficient,  genial,  obliging,  assistant 
superintendent  of  the  "  U.  P.,"  Mr.  Hoxie. 

"  Ay,"  is  responded. 

" Because,"  goes  on  the  voice,  "she  has  for 
gotten  something- 
Anxious  search  for  pocketbook  and  hand-bag. 
All  right.  Inquiring  look  fastened  on  the  pleas 
ant  face. 

"And  I've  brought  it  to  her,"  holding  up  a 
"  pass,"  and  laughing  as  he  comes  forward. 

A  deprecating  hand  put  out,  a  deprecating 
voice  replies,  "  I  never  did  travel  on  one  of  those 
things,  and  I  never  will." 

' '  Not  so  fast, ' '  he  says.  ' '  Reconsider.  You  are 
the  first  person  who  has  been  through  here  in  the 
month  since  the  road  has  been  open  who  hasn't 
asked  for  a  pass  ;  so  we  concluded  you  had  demon 
strated  a  right  to  it.  There  it  is.  It  wouldn'  t 
be  the  handsome  thing  to  go  back  on  us." 


26  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

So  I  take  it,  and  shake  his  friendly  hand,  and 
thank  him — and  use  my  ticket  just  the  same,  and 
keep  the  pass  as  a  trophy. 

VI. 

Presently  I  found  myself,  as  before  and  since, 
both  amused  and  disgusted  by  some  English  tour 
ists  wending  their  way  westward — the  sort  of 
men  who  know  very  little  at  home  and  do  not 
travel  abroad  for  the  purpose  of  adding  to  their 
stock  of  knowledge,  landing  at  New  York,  look 
ing  neither  to  the  right  hand  nor  the  left  but 
streaking  across  lots  to  the  buffalo  country  for  the 
sole  purpose  of  slaughter. 

How  many  times  have  I  heard  the  old  settlers 
and  hunters  anathematize  these  bloodthirsty  fel 
lows  who  are  destroying  the  magnificent  creatures 
by  thousands — for  nothing  save  as  a  gratification 
to  their  own  gory  vanity,  killing  the  grand  brutes 
out  of  season  when  their  dead  bodies  cannot  be 
utilized,  and  in  such  numbers  as  certainly  cannot 
be  eaten.  I  remember,  at  Georgetown,  Colorado, 
hearing  one  of  these  gawks  boast  that  he  had 
killed  seventy-eight  buffalo — the  most  of  them 
young — and  wondered  why  there  was  no  law  to 


A  BAGGED  REGISTER.  27 

clap  an  iron  claw  on  him  for  his  cruelty  and  wan 
ton  destruction. 

'Tis  a  great  shame  that  Congress  does  not  inter 
fere  in  behalf  of  these  "wards  of  the  nation." 
They,  like  their  more  troublesome  friends  the  red 
men,  will  presently  be  all  gone,  and  being  gone, 
at  least  in  their  case,  we  shall  hear  lamentations 
and  mourning,  when  neither  mourning  nor  lam 
entations  can  restore  them  to  their  hunting 
grounds. 

Concerning  their  chief  tormentor — the  style  of 
Englishmen  just  noted — with  his  cockneyisms  and 
insolence,  his  ignorance  and  rudeness,  his  sneers 
at  every  thing  he  sees,  and  his  failure  to  see  any 
thing,  his  eatings  and  drinkings — he  and  his  con 
freres  who  cut  across  America  doing  and  appre 
ciating  it,  are  about  the  best-hated  people  who 
travel. 

Luckily — provided  our  English  cousins  care  for 
our  verdict,  good  or  ill — they  send  us,  as  offset  to 
this  species  of  animal,  the  most  entirely  delight 
ful  companions  one  can  meet  on  or  off  the  road. 
Epitomes  of  thoroughness  and  genuineness.  Per 
fectly  bred,  read  and  wed.  Hearty  and  heart- 
some.  With  opinions  of  their  own,  and  a  readi 
ness  at  all  emergencies  to  "  pull  their  pound." 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

Attributes  not  picked  from  every  bush,  let  me 
tell  you. 

As  to  the  other  style — Justice  all  round  !  Out 
of  the  eastward  bound  train  caine  a  little  fellow, 
by  name — no  matter  about  his  name — and  Amer 
ican,  who  fell  upon  me  with  vivacity  and  vocifer- 
ousness.  Two  years  before  I  had  met  him  and 
his  wife  bound  on  a  lengthy  tour  of  the  Pacific 
slope,  she  lecturing,  he  managing,  and  an  adopt 
ed  daughter  singing,  the  whole  made  to  "go"  by 
a  gift  enterprise. 

They  were  getting  home  from  their  trip,  of 
which  he  proceeded  to  discourse  to  me.  Had 
been  in  Nevada,  Arizona,  California,  Oregon, 
Washington,  Montana,  Idaho,  Wyoming.  Trav 
elled  twelve  thousand  miles  by  their  own  convey 
ance,  ten  thousand  by  stage,  and  I  don't  know 
how  far  on  horseback.  A  horrid  little  scrub  who 
had  no  more  eye  for  the  beauties  of  nature  than 
my  shoestring.  "  A  beastly  country,"  he  cried, 
when  I  said  something  about  that  marvellous 
Montana  region,  "  a  beastly  country  :  WE  didn't 

tat*  $500  *».-#/" 

VII. 

Out  of  Omaha  what  was  seen  ten  years  ago  is 
seen  now,  and  will  be  seen,  without  essential 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  20 

change,  when  centuries  have  gone  their  rounds, 
until  the  elements  themselves  shall  fuse,  and  mat 
ter  resolve  itself  into  fire  and  air. 

What  have  I  to  say  about  it  ? 

Very  little. 

How  describe  or  do  it  justice  ? 

I  cannot.  With  Tom  Hood,  ' '  I  expressly  de 
cline  to  touch  upon  the  scenery  that  hath  been  so 
often  painted,  not  to  say  daubed  already."  There 
are  some  things  of  which  it  is  better  to  be  silent 
than  to  say  too  little — and  this  is  of  them. 

If  I  were  conscious  that  I  could  go  west  of  the 
Missouri  River  but  once  in  a  lifetime  I  would  not  go 
at  all,  unless,  indeed,  the  once  could  be  for  years. 

And  yet — no.  That  would  not  be  satisfactory. 
One  wants  to  go,  and  to  come,  and  to  go  again. 
Not  to  stay. 

Be  sure  of  this  though,  my  friend,  if  thou  hast 
any  love  of  freedom,  and  any  longings  after  the 
sublimities,  and  any  delight  in  space,  and  any 
passion  for  thy  dear  country,  to  grow  constantly 
by  what  thy  eye  feeds  upon,  be  sure  if  thou  hast 
once  gone  thy  way  as  far  as  the  Rocky  Moun 
tains,  each  recurring  season  will  find  thy  soul 
stirred  within  thee  to  see  more  and  yet  more  of 
this  amazing  land  that  is  thine. 


30  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

Be  sure  if  tliou  hast  ever  breathed  the  elixir  of 
this  air,  and  felt  nerve  and  blood  thrill  within 
thee,  thou  wilt  long  for  it,  many  and  many  a  time 
thereafter,  through  all  thy  days,  as  one  who  hav 
ing  known  life,  can  never  be  altogether  satisfied 
with  conditions  of  semi-death. 

A  word  to  thee,  though,  if  thou  dost  go  but 
once. 

Do  not  make  the  mistake,  as  do  almost  all  trav 
ellers,  of  confounding  California  and  Nevada  with 
Montana,  Utah,  Idaho,  Colorado. 

A  summer  trip  to  California  is  about  as  pleas 
ant  and  wise  a  performance  as  to  select  August 
for  the  delights  of  New  York. 

Take  California  through  the  late  winter,  spring 
and  early  summer  -  'tis  Paradise.  Take  it 
through  the  middle  and  late  summer,  and  early 
autumn,  'tis !' 

Go  to  Caliornia  in  February  and  keep  the  coun 
try  of  the  Wasatch,  and  Wind  River,  and  Rocky 
Mountains  for  the  return  in  summer  time— and  so 
be  happy. 

I  bestow  this  information  and  warning  without 
expectation  of  thanks,  since  it  belongs  to  that 
least  valued  of  gifts — advice  unasked. 

All  the  same,  it  is  worth  consideration. 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER.  31. 

For  me  and  my  first  experiment :  I  left  Omaha 
at  the  outset  of  summer  weather,  and  saw  it 
again  at  the  fag  end  of  autumn,  twenty  pounds 
lighter  than  when  I  turned  my  back  on  it,  skin 
like  a  chip,  juices  dried  in  me,  nerves  tense,  and 
brain  on  fire. 

Any  one  who  could  go  through  the  same 
amount  of  sight-seeing,  and  the  same  time  and 
weather  in  California,  without  the  same  result, 
must  either  drink  lager  unlimited,  or  be  -blessed 
by  nature  with  a  happy  stupidity. 

And  now,  as  I  think  of  the  ride,  I  reconsider 
my  decision  and  advice,  and  say  it  is  a  good  thing 
to  go  from  New  York  to  San  Francisco,  if  you  turn 
directly  and  go  back  from  San  Francisco  to  New 
York. 

"  This,"  said  I,  on  our  first  day  out,  "  this  roll 
ing  prairie  land  of  Nebraska  is,  after  all,  just  like 
the  rolling  prairie  land  of  Iowa,"  but  by  and  by 
it  began  to  take  hold  of  me,  and  soon— all  sign  of 
human  growth  and  enterprise  vanished— its  hold 
became  a  good  firm  grip  that  made  itself  felt. 

Toward  sundown,  we  met  a  freight  train,  moil 
ing  its  way  toward  Omaha,  the  tender  and  tops 
of  the  car  covered  by  an  array  of  Pawnees,  dirty, 
disreputable-looking  creatures,  all  tatters,  drunk- 


32  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

enness  and  filth,   who  laughed  and   called,  and 
waved  their  hands  and  rags  at  us  as  they  went 

by. 

It  was  an  odd  contrast !  The  steam  wonder, 
cultured  growth  of  brains  and  civilization,  epitome 
of  thought  and  mechanism,  and  these  semi- 
human  appearing  beings  carried  about  by  it ;  and 
yet  not  stranger  than  to  stand  upon  the  rear  plat 
form,  when  night  had  shut  down,  and  look 
through  the  flashes  of  lightning  across  the  limit 
less  spaces  we  were  crossing,  and  recognize  the 
anachronism  of  cars  but  no  houses,  and  tele 
graph  wires  but  no  people. 

I  said  I  would  not  discourse  of  the  scenery,  and 
I  won' t.  Still,  having  got  over  the  plains,  into  the 
wild  ragged  country  of  the  Black  Hills,  past  the 
opening  view  of  the  far-away  first  range  of  the 
Rocky  Mountains,  through  the  gray,  weird,  ghost 
ly  Bitter  Creek  region— which  must  be  wonderful 
ly  like  Arabia  Petrea — desert,  yet  mountainous 
and  sublime  —  through  the  dreary  sage-brush 
flats  that  follow,  through  the  stately  avenue  of 
Weber  Canon,  with  the  strange  figures  and  giant 
sentries,  and  colossal  faces  looking  down  on  you 
from  castle  wall  and  solitary  tower,  having  gone 
through  this,  it  is  worth  while  telling  how  at 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  33 

Uintah  we  took  stage — not  steam  as  now — for 
the  city  of  Salt  Lake. 

And  worth  adding  for  the  satisfaction  and  self- 
glorification  of  the  "  pioneers,"  and  the  discom 
fort  of  the  comfort-seekers,  that  the  first  view  of 
Salt  Lake  ought  to  be  had  from  the  back  of  a 
horse,  or  the  top  of  a  coach,  and  not  from  a  car 
window. 

It  was  at  the  close  of  a  lovely  day  in  June  that  I 
first  saw  the  "  City  of  the  Saints,"  and,  could  I  sell 
the  memory,  I  should  need  to  be  steeped  in  poverty 
to  the  very  lips  ere  I  would  part  with  it. 

A  great  stretch  of  level  plain  ;  an  inland  sea  of 
sapphire  reflecting  a  sapphire  sky  ;  all  about  it 
range  after  range  of  stately  mountains  —  their 
angles  crossing  and  intersecting — glowing  through 
the  marvellously  clear  air,  masses  of  amber,  violet, 
and  gold,  whilst  over  all  ranged  diamond-bright 
the  eternal  walls  of  snow. 

In  the  course  of  my  wanderings  I  have  seen  a 
great  many  mountains,  but  for  delicacy  of  outline, 
exquisite  fineness  of  shape,  clear  cuttings  of 
spires  and  peaks,  I  would  back  these  ranges 
against  the  world.  There  are  a  plenty  grander, 
more  imposing,  but  these  are  so  perfect  in  beauty, 

"  the  sense  aches  at  them." 
3 


34  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

Mormonism  \ 

'Tis  all  so  old  a  story  there  is  no  need  of  epito 
mizing,  much  less  of  amplifying  it. 

Die? 

Of  course  it  will  die.  It  can't  stand  contact  of 
mines,  and  railroads,  and  the  busy  activity  of 
travel  and  trade — the  influx  of  the  life  out 
side. 

Drop  it.  When  it  is  dead,  and  the  disgusting 
body  buried  quite  out  of  sight,  everybody  will 
breathe  the  freer,  and  will  marvel  why  such  decay 
was  ever  permitted  the  semblance  of  life. 

After  a  week' s  tarriance  we  got  away  from  Salt 
Lake  at  four  o'  clock  in  the  morning,  and  I  could 
scarcely  keep  the  tears  from  my  eye  as  one  after 
another  the  spires  and  peaks  vanished,  and  the 
exquisite  beauty  of  the  view  rested  no  longer  in 
our  vision,  but  in  our  memories  alone. 
,  May  it  rest  there  forever  !  and  may  I  yet  again, 
with  the  eyes  of  the  flesh,  behold  a  fullJune  moon 
shining  through  the  crystal  clear  air,  revealing 
yet  softening,  softening  yet  intensifying,  the  un 
speakable  loveliness  of  that  scene. 

I  wonder,  when  spirits  get  out  of  the  oody,  and 
have  no  trouble  of  locomotion,  whether  they 
will  be  as  much  interested  to  see  as  they  were  while 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER.  35 

caged.     If  they  are  so,  they  will  have  fine  times 
careering  through  the  air  ! 

Certainly  more  comfortable  ones  than  had  we 
through  the  last  two  days  of  alkaline  poison  in 
the  Humboldt  Valley. 

VIII. 

Glad  was  I  to  abandon  it  at  two  o'clock  on  the 
second  night  for  the  stage  at  Reno  that  would 
take  us  to  Virginia  City. 

It  did  take  some  of  us,  but  it  took  not  me. 

As  usual,  I  scrambled  to  my  favorite  perch  on 
the  driver's  box,  but  was  ordered  down  in  lan 
guage  more  explicit  than  elegant,  and,  as  I  in 
sisted  on  a  parley,  and  demanded  cogent  reasons 
for  such  descent,  I  found  myself  whirled  through 
the  air,  and  on  my  feet,  with  the  marks  of 
some  brutal  fingers  on  my  arm,  and  a  sensation 
within  me,  that,  to  speak  mildly,  was  any  thing 
but  angelic. 

Divers  years  ago  a  foolish  driver  of  a  Wells  & 
Fargo  coach,  absorbed  in  converse  with  the  lady 
who  sat  beside  him,  did  allow  his  "  leaders' '  to  go 
their  own  way  to  the  upsetting  of  the  vehicle,  and 
Si  finale  of  damaged  heads  and  broken  bones. 


36  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

A  reprimand  to  that  driver  ?  A  warning  to  the 
others  ? 

Not  at  all. 

Wolf  !  wolf  !  you  are  always  the  wronged  one. 

Lamb,  lamb,  'twas  you  that  muddied  the 
water  !  Lamb,  lamb,  you  must  be  punished  ! 

An  order  issued  for  the  whole  Pacific  coast  that 
no  woman  should  be  permitted  to  occupy  the  best 
seats  of  the  coach — that  is,  the  outside  ones.  All 
the  same,  I  did  ;  but  not  with  that  Jehu. 

I  took  to  my  feet  and  marched  along  through 
the  cool  air,  and  looked  across  a  country  wild 
and  beautiful,  moonlight  by  which  one  could  read 
revealing  at  the  right  the  first  line  of  the  Sierras, 
white  with  snow. 

Morning  broke  at  half -past  three,  and  I  found 
an  endless  charm  in  the  shifting  and  changing 
lights  and  colors  the  earth  displayed  as  she  re 
ceived  her  king. 

The  grading  was  steep,  but  the  road  perfection, 
and  it  was  an  easy  matter  to  keep  either  at  the 
side  or  ahead  of  the  chariot  to  the  discomfiture 
and  final  despair  of  its  driver,  as  he  discov 
ered  that  I  would  get  over  the  twenty-two  miles 
to  Virginia  City,  and  to  a  protest  at  the  office,  by 
my  own  methods  of  locomotion. 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  37 

His  orders  were  to  be  obeyed  \ 

Of  course  ;  but  he  had  no  orders  to  show  him 
self  a  brute  if  nature  made  him  one,  nor  to  in 
dulge  in  assault  and  battery  on  inoffensive  travel 
lers,  and  I  for  one  would  not  consent  to  such  pro 
ceedings. 

If  any  one  wishes  to  see  a  road  winding  at  sharp 
angles,  and  ever  so  many  degrees  round  and 
round,  and  up  a  mountain  through  narrow  defiles 
and  across  attenuated  ledges,  smooth  and  perfect 
as  that  on  the  Jersey  sands  when  the  tide  has 
just  gone  out,  let  him  drive  from  Reno  to  Vir 
ginia  City,  or,  better,  "drop  down"  from  Vir 
ginia  City  to  Reno. 

No  stint  of  money,  or  skill  or  labor  here  ;  and 
yet  you  feel  on  this  road,  as  on  some  others  round 
about,  and  at  various  points  on  the  Union  Pacific 
rails,  that  the  Almighty  was  the  great  first  en 
gineer.  These  canons,  insignificant  passage-ways 
between  the  vast  piles  of  stone,  are  all  that  make 
the  track  of  civilization  possible. 

Surely  it  would  take  long  to  weary  one  of  these 
Nevada  mountains.  They  are  not  ranges,  but 
one  universal  upheaval,  swells  growing  out  of 
swells,  mountains  out  of  mountains — not  peaked 
but  rounded. 


38  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

Bearing  no  growth  of  greenery,  and  yet  not  hav 
ing  the  effect  of  rocks,  because  so  smooth. 

And  then  the  lights  !  At  sunsetting  I  have  seen 
mountains  of  every  shade  and  hue  ;  a  pink  moun 
tain,  pink  as  a  sea-shell,  and  as  delicate  in  color 
ing  ;  then  a  blue,  and  an  amethyst,  a  purple,  and 
amber,  and  red  rose,  crimson,  pale  green,  ochre 
and  brown,  and  even  scarlet.  Each  mountain 
standing  out  clear  and  distinct ;  a  mass  of  solid 
color,  pink  by  green,  ochre  by  purple,  amethyst 
by  blue,  while  afar — a  hundred  miles  away — can 
be  seen  long  lines  and  ranges  of  purple  and  blue 
so  deep  as  to  seem  black,  while  over  all  is  a  sky 
without  a  cloud  and  without  a  flaw. 

Perfection. 

IX. 

After  Nevada  prowlings  we  reached  Truckee, 
on  the  "  C.  P.,"  at  six  in  the  morning,  and  fell  in 
with  the  Angel  of  the  Pass,  Mr.  Hoxie,  of  the 
UU.  P.,"  aforementioned. 

"  Would  you  not  like  to  cross  the  Sierras  upon 
the  engine  3"  inquired  he  thoughtfully. 

"Rather,"  responded  I,  explicitly  and  inele 
gantly. 

' '  Enough  said.     T 11  go  for  the  conductor  ;' '  and 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER.  39 

he  "  went  for"  and  fetched  him,  and  so  mounted 
us  on  the  forward  engine,  and  moved  on  his  own 
beneficent  way  eastward. 

Forward^  for  from  Truckee  over  the  next 
twenty  miles  the  trains  need  two  machines. 
Thus,  then,  mounted,  the  smoke,  cinders,  and 
dust  all  behind  us,  away  we  went,  through 
scenery  that  'tis  but  an  aggravation  to  behold  by 
such  flying  glimpses. 

The  ride  would  be  a  dream  of  paradise  could  it 
be  taken  by  carriage  and  leisurely.  Being  what 
it  is,  in  a  little  while  we  did  not  see  at  all,  by 
reason  of  the  prudent  and  protecting  snow-sheds. 
Thirty  miles  of  travel,  cheerful  as  a  protracted 
tunnel.  Had  the  winter  been  upon  us  we  might 
have  had  toward  these  stout  timbers  a  feeling  of 
gratitude  ;  as  it  was,  we  rejoiced  over  the  loss  of 
their  society  when  we  found  "  views"  at  various 
points  through  openings  in  roof  and  sides  made 
by  fires. 

Twenty  miles  up  from  Truckee,  we  reached  the 
summit,  and  from  that  point  down,  for  seventy - 
eight  miles,  ran  without  steam.  The  engineer 
looked  out  of  his  little  window,  and  held  amicable 
converse,  scarcely  touching  his  lever  save  to 
stop  and  start  the  train  ;  the  fireman  went  to 


40  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

sleep  on  his  unused  wood,  the  fire  burned  low.  If 
the  brakes  give  way — good-by  to  friends  and  home! 

The  grade  is  tremendous,  often  from  110  to  116 
feet  to  the  mile,  and  the  wheels  groan  under  the 
strain.  For  manifest  reasons  the  distance  is  run 
slowly,  safety  is  secured,  but  exhilaration  is 
dampened. 

Once  out  of  the  snow- sheds,  the  ride  is  one  to 
take,  and  to  enjoy,  and  to  be  still  about,  save 
to  tell  others  to  go  and  do  likewise — forward,  en 
gine  and  all. 

On  the  boat  to  'Frisco  I  was  too  tired  to  look  at 
any  thing,  so  sat  still,  lived  over  the  ride,  and 
pitied  the  fate  of  a  poor  little  dog  whose  acquaint 
ance — and  death  we  had  made. 

While  the  engines  were  shuddering  down  grade 
from  the  summit,  I  saw  jump  on  to  the  track  a 
pretty  little  dog,  watched  him  with  no  special 
thought  save  that  he  would  presently  skip  to  one 
side — and  there  an  end. 

But  no.  He  ran  on,  and  by  and  by  I  spoke  of 
him  to  the  others.  We  then  all  watched,  grew  in 
terested,  absorbed,  excited,  leaned  from  the  side 
of  the  engine,  called,  shouted,  waved  things  in 
the  air,  and  flung  wood  at  random  to  draw  his 
attention  and  induce  him  to  jump  aside,  but  the 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  41 

poor  little  fellow  was  probably  too  much  fright 
ened  to  heed  or  to  understand  our  intent. 

It  was  a  sight  to  see  him  fly  over  the  ties. 
Here  and  there  his  tiny  forepaws  would  go 
through  a  cattle-guard,  and  as  he  stumbled  the 
train  would  gain  on  him,  but  he  wbuld  be  off 
again  !  Several  times  we  were  so  near  as  to  lose 
sight  of  him,  and  then  he  would  dart  forward 
when  we  thought  he  was  crushed. 

It  seemed  like  an  embodiment  of  inexorable 
Fate  —  that  vast  thing  going  on  and  on,  never 
halting,  never  hastening,  and  the  poor  little 
wretch  with  his  panting,  quivering  being,  trying 
a  race  for  life  with  it.  By  and  by  he  vanished. 
We  had  gone  over  him,  and  there  was  not  a  dry 
eye  among  us,  even  the  engineer' s  held  a  tear — 
the  little  fellow  was  so  plucky  and  had  made  such 
a  game  run  for  it ! 

Had  we  been  on  level  ground  the  pace  would 
have  been  slackened  for  him,  but  the  grade  was 
too  heavy.  Think  of  a  bit  of  a  dog  beating  an 
engine  on  a  four-miles  heat ! 

X. 

What  a  good  time  everybody  had  in 'Frisco 
through  that  first  "  railroad  summer."  It  was 


42  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

Omaha  repeated,  only  in  the  midst  of  comfort 
and  elegance  not  to  be  rivalled  anywhere.  The 
hotel  proprietors,  the  clerks,  the  waiters,  keepers 
of  shops  and  attendants,  men  and  women  at  mar 
ket-stalls  and  fruit-stalls  and  flower-stands,  even 
the  conductors  of  horse-cars,  and  cab-drivers 
looked  at  and  smiled  at  and  talked  at  the  eastern 
folk  as  though  they  were  long-lost  brethren  and 
sisters,  happily  found  ;  and  the  eastern  folk — a 
good  many  of  them — behaved  as  though  they  had 
reached  a  fresh  "jumping-off  place"  beyond 
which  was  nothing,  and  they  would  act  again 
"accordingly,"  and  the  rest  of  them  enjoyed 
themselves  regardless  of  cost  and  consequence. 

For  myself  I  never  wearied  of  tramping  about 
the  streets,  gawking  at  the  people  and  the  shops 
rich  with  the  spoils  of  the  world,  and  found  cease 
less  pleasure  in  running  out  of  the  city  to  any 
one  of  a  score  of  lovely  spots  about  it,  coming 
back  toward  evening  almost  broiled,  and  plung 
ing  into  coats  and  wraps  as  the  fresh  sea-fog  blew 
inland,  reaching  a  cosy  room,  calling  for  and  sit 
ting  in  front  of  an  open  fire  that  always  gives 
companionship,  and  even  in  a  barren  hotel  sug 
gests  liome. 

Or  diving  into  the  Chinese  quarter,  flattening 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  43 

iny  face  against  their  dingy  little  window  panes, 
gazing  into  their  dingy  little  shops  at  themselves, 
where,  small  trade  going  on  at  night,  they  pored 
over  some  book  or  paper,  or  in  groups  smoked 
and  talked,  or  bent  over  their  endless  gambling 
with  dominos,  or  peered  into  their  opium-cellars, 
and  at  them  stretched  on  mats,  some  beginning  to 
smoke,  some  half  stupefied,  some  quite  still,  hav 
ing  reached  outward  torpor  and  inward  beati 
tude. 

While  I  was  at 'Frisco  these  celestials  bestowed 
on  me  some  hospitality  that  I  like  to  remember. 

They  look  like  wooden  images  ;  dull- eyed  and 
impassive-faced,  with  high  monotonous  voices,  it 
is  not  strange  they  are  accused  of  apathy  of 
thought  and  feeling. 

"  There  is  nothing  human  about  them,"  I 
heard  repeated,  till  T  grew  tired  of  the  iteration. 

To  begin  with,  I  didn't  believe  it,  and  amply 
did  they  vindicate  my  faith  in  them. 

In  the  course  of  the  first  public  talk  I  made  on 
the  coast,  I  had  somewhat  to  say  of  the  Chinese 
problem,  and  said  it. 

This  was  a  condemned  theme.  It  was  as  "  bad 
form"  to  discourse  of  the  stoning  to  death  of  a 
Chinaman  in  California  in  1869  as  it  could  have 


44  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

been  to  protest  anywhere  in  the  States  against 
the  whipping  to  death  of  a  negro  previous  to  1861. 

The  day  before  the  speech  was  made,  a  steamer 
bringing  a  thousand  of  these  "  oppressed  of  the 
earth"  (who  should  either  be  absolutely  debarred 
our  shores,  or,  reaching  them,  should  for  our  own 
sake,  receive  the  treatment  humanity  owes  to 
humans)  had  entered  the  Golden  Gate,  and  dis 
charged  its  cargo  to  the  tender  mercies  of  Ameri 
can  freemen. 

What  a  reception  ! 

I  am  an  American  with  over-much  national 
pride.  What  need  to  humiliate  it  by  a  detailed 
account  of  the  entertainment  ? 

The  reception  being  ended  and  crowner's  quest 
held  on  four  bruised  and  battered  bodies  of  weak- 
souled  creatures  too  feeble  to  breathe  the  strong 
air  of  freedom,  verdict  was  returned,  "  Died  of 
cause  or  causes  unknown." 

And  the  papers  of  the  day,  on  the  evening  of 
which  I  held  forth,  one  and  all  published  the  ad 
mirable  decision  of  the  twelve  just  men,  without 
comment. 

Naturally,  I  had  a  word  to  speak  about  the 
whole  affair.  To  the  great  disgust  of  the  people 
who  had  come  to  listen,  with  the  expectation  of 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  45 

being  simply  entertained,  if  not  amused,  the  word 
spoken  was — well,  we  will  say  vigorous. 

And  was  simply  the  opinion  of  decent  people 
everywhere,  concerning  the  infamous  treatment 
of  the  Chinese  at  the  hands  of  ruffianly  white 
men,  and  the  yet  more  infamous  silence  of  men 
of  position  and  power,  the  professed  superiors  of 
these  same  ruffians. 

To  the  dispassionate  onlooker  it  may  seem  a 
trivial  matter  that  a  few  of  the  myriads  of  "  Chi 
nese  rats"  shall  die  at  an  earlier  day  than  the  one 
upon  which  unaided  nature  would  put  a  period 
to  their  wretched  lives,  yet  even  the  dispassionate 
onlooker  may  well  tremble  when  he  duly  weighs 
the  effect  of  the  sword-stroke  upon  the  holder, 
not  upon  the  victim. 

It  may  be  a  small  thing  for  some  Chinamen  to 
be  wronged,  and  some  other  Chinamen  to  be  slain, 
but  it  is  a  tremendous  and  awful  thing — the  un 
bridled  and  uncondemned  spirit  of  brutal  hate 
and  murder  in  their  American  and  Irish  wrongers 
and  slayers. 

So  say  I  now  and  here  ;  so  said  I  in  San  Fran 
cisco  to  my  first  audience  of  friendly  hearers. 

Consternation  was  painted  on  every  face,  and 
an  ominous  silence  fell. 


46  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

Then  what  hissing  ! 

At  last  a  hand  was  lifted  for  silence.  Silence 
ensued. 

Said  one  human,  within  hearing,  "  She  means 
to  apologize  ;"  said  another,  "  She  means  to  get 
off  the  stage,  she's  going  to  run  away  ;"  said  a 
third,  "  She  don't  dare  to  face  this." 

Said  the  speaker  to  one  and  all,  "  My  friends  : 
You  are  not  used  to  me.  Never  before  had  I  the 
pleasure  of  facing  you,  and  you,  apparently, 
never  before  had  the  profit  of  listening  to  un 
pleasant  truth.  I  will  then  tell  you,  so  as  to 
save  time  and  trouble,  that  as  I  have  endured  a 
great  deal  of  hissing,  some  stick  and  stone  throw 
ing,  divers  odorous  eggings,  and  finally  one  or  two 
revolver  bullets,  through  Eastern  political  cam 
paigns,  I  am  not  to  be  scared  by  a  trifle  of  goose- 
brea,th  in  the  West. 

"  Hiss  as  long  as  you  please.  The  time  makes 
no  difference  to  me  ;  but,  on  the  whole,  I  think 
it  would  be  more  satisfactory  for  both  of  us,  if 
you  did  it  up  in  a  lump.  I  will  yield  the  time 
you  want,  providing  that  when  you  are  through 
you  will  allow  me  to  finish  my  time  unmolested." 

What  a  good-humored  roar  followed,  and  then 
what  frank  and  hearty  attention,  as  San  Fran- 


A   EAGGED  REGISTER.  47 

cisco,  or  some  of  the  best  of  it,  heard  what  the 
whole  thinking  world  had  been  speaking  about 
it,  but  from  which  it  had  hitherto  been  exempt. 

XL 

"  Gratitude  an  unknown  quantity  among  the 
celestials." 

Is  it  so  1 

Listen  :  the  next  day  in  my  wanderings  about 
shops  I  found  myself  among  the  choice  of  the 
Chinese,  and  straightway  fell  to  investing  in  trink 
ets  and  curiosities,  of  which  I  found  more  than 
enough  to  beggar  me. 

The  friend  who  was  with  me,  and  who  acted 
as  interpreter,  Mr.  Robert  Swain,  known  and 
honored  of  all  men — Mongolians  included — in  the 
city  of  San  Francisco — him  I  made  purse-bearer, 
and  watched  with  interest  the  serious  confabu 
lations  held  between  him  and  the  owners  of 
such  goods  and  chattels  as  I  saw  fit  to  carry 
away. 

I  could  make  naught  of  their  unmoved  counte 
nances,  but  his  speaking  face  revealed — some 
thing — I  knew  not  what. 

"  They  always  overcharge  unwary  travellers," 
had  I  been  told  many  a  time  and  oft.  ' '  He  thinks 
he  is  helping  me  to  the  poorhouse,  and  is  afflict- 


48  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

ing  his  soul  in  consequence,"  thought  I  to  my 
self,  as  I  went  on  with  my  gainings  and  gettings, 
leaving  to  him  the  task  of  ' '  accounts. ' ' 

Behold,  when  I  reached  home,  I  found  to  my 
chagrin  that  I  had  been  making  my  "pick  and 
choose' '  for  nothing. 

Not  one  cent  of  compensation  had  any  of  the 
"  thievish  Chinamen"  consented  to  receive. 

Of  all  the  thousands  in  the  city  there  were  not 
a  hundred  English-reading  ones,  and  of  those  I 
had  seen  not  two  could  have  understood  a  word 
of  my  uttering  ;  yet,  one  and  all,  they  had  heard 
of  and  comprehended  what  I  had  said  about  them 
within  four-and-twenty  hours  of  the  speaking, 
and,  frugal  as  they  are,  repaid  simple  justice  by 
lavish  generosity. 

Not  content  with  this,  to  my  great  delight  they 
decided  me  a  dignitary  and  as  such  worthy  a  re 
ception. 

Think  of  it — a  woman  !  and  soulless  !  They 
are  not  tainted  by  that  "  vice  of  republics,"  when 
gratitude  could  so  overcome  both  prejudice  and 
religious  belief. 

Over  Chi  Lung' s  shop  was  a  reception  room  (of 
Chi  Lung,  his  shop,  and  the  reception-room  can 
not  I  speak  in  the  present  tense.  They  may  still 
exist,  or  they  may  have  one  and  all  been  trans- 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  49 

lated  to  another  sphere),  a  reception  room  for 
solemn  high  feasts  and  gatherings,  and  to  this 
was  I  bidden,  with  some  friends. 

As  a  school  for  good  manners  I  should  not  ob 
ject  to  such  visitation  every  day. 

The  seat  on  the  right-hand  side  of  entrance 
farthest  from  the  door  is  the  post  of  honor.  To 
this  was  I  conducted,  mounted  in  state  on  the 
high-backed,  curiously  carved,  and  ungainly 
chair,  and  left  to  my  own  devices  to  behave 
well  as  I  knew  how — and  so  fell  into  disgrace  ! 

The  conversation  flourished  apace,  since  my  en 
tertainers  all  spoke  some  English,  one  of  them 
being  absolute  master  of  it,  and  I  never  yet  hav 
ing  lacked  for  words. 

But  alas  for  feeding  etiquette  !  Presently  came 
to  me  a  sedate-looking  servant  carrying  a  huge 
box  divided  into  compartments  like  a  Christ 
mas  bonbonnier,  crowded  with  nuts  and  sweet 
meats. 

What  did  I  ? 

Looked  at  it,  and  picked  out  a  half-dozen  good 
ies  from  the  half-dozen  sections,  of  course,  put 
them  on  the  broad,  flat  arm  of  the  chair  that 
serves  as  a  table,  and  watched  the  progress  of  the 
man  and  his  box  to  my  far-away  next  neighbor, 


50  .4   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

who,  to  iny  amazement,  took  but  one  sugared 
poison. 

-  always  did  love  candy  better  than  good 
ness,  thought  I.     What  induces  his  abstinence  ? 

The  box  moved  on  to  one,  and  another,  and 
another — another,  another,  and  one  did  but  help 
herself  and  himself  to  a  solitary  sweet,  till  I  gazed 
with  horror  at  my  pile,  and  whispered  to  my  own 
means  of  vision,  "  Gray  eye,  greedy -gut,"  and 
thought  I  had  need  of  being  put  back  into 
pinafores  with  my  nursery  rhymes  and  manners. 

"  They  are  all  old  Calif  ornians,"  went  on  the 
inward  monologue.  "  They  all  look  a  little  hor 
rified,  even hasn'  t  the  courage  to  sign  to  me. 

Something's  amiss  !  What  f  and  I,  with  lost  ap 
petite  and  hungry  interest,  watched  the  sedate 
servant  cross  to  the  fe/2-hand  side. 

Did  the  first  of  my  celestial  hosts  take  one 
sweetmeat  and  then  stop,  I  was  lost !  But  no — 

' '  In  he  plunged  boldly 
No  matter  how  coldly" 

the  blood  ran  in  his  veins,  gathered  a  handful  to 
surpass  my  own,  and  heaped  it  on  the  table  be 
side  him. 

I  breathed  again  ! — the  more  freely  as  I  saw  one 
and  all  follow  suit. 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  51 

"  I  haven1 1  made  a  faux  pas,  after  all," 
thought  I. 

Presently  sedate  servant,  box,  bonbons  again 
appeared.  My  conscience  was  at  ease,  but  invol 
untarily,  as  I  stretched  out  my  hand,  I  glanced 
across  the  room.  Eight  pairs  of  bright  eyes  were 
watching  it,  not  anxiously ;  no,  but  closely. 
Eight  breaths  seemed  suspended.  Seemed? 
"  Let  us  determine,  take  but  a  single  temptation," 
said  my  internal  monitor.  I  took  but  one. 

Yes,  it  was  so.     They  breathed  again  ! 

Afterward  I  learned  that  had  I  entertained 
them  at  my  table,  and  had  one  of  them  seized 
upon  a  chicken  and  torn  it  with  his  fingers  limb 
from  limb,  he  would  have  done  no  greater  violence 
to  our  code  of  good  breeding  than  had  I  to  theirs. 

Query  : — Would  I  have  had  the  courageous 
courtesy  to  fall  foul  of  a  companion  chicken,  and 
rend  it  asunder  to  save  the  feelings  of  my  guest, 
and  make  him  quite  at  home  ? 

We  had  brought  us  divers  other  delicacies  in 
slow  and  stately  following.  Manifestly  dyspep 
sia  is  not  courted  by  these  courteous  Chinamen. 
By  and  by  came  some  light  wine  in  tall  fragile 
glasses,  that  of  themselves  were  enough  to  tempt 
an  ascetic  to  drink. 


52  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

For  good  and  sufficient  reasons  being  under  a 
temporary  vow  of  abstinence,  I  admired  the  ex 
quisite  glass,  and  the  wine,  like  imprisoned  sun 
shine,  then  pushed  them  to  one  side,  went  on  with 
some  earnest  confab  and  gave  no  farther  heed  to 
the  glass  or  its  contents. 

After  a  space  came  fresh  glasses  with  fresh 
wine— they  do  not  "fill"  for  you— and  the  first 
ones  were  carried  away,  and  by  and  by,  yet  others. 

At  last  I  realized— I  had  seen  without  seeing, 
that  the  glasses  of  my  friends  had  been  carried 
away  empty  ;  my  own,  with  those  of  my  hosts 
had  been  carried  away  full. 

Not  a  word  said.  Only  it  was  supposable  that 
I  was  of  age  to  know  what  I  wanted  to  eat,  and 
also  to  drink.  Offers  of  hospitality  were  made 
me.  They  no  more  thought  of  insisting  on  my 
drinking  wine  than  they  thought  of  cramming 
food  down  my  throat. 

Only  what  did  not  please  their  guest  did  not 
please  them.  What  did,  was  right  in  their  eyes 
and  satisfactory  to  their  palates,  and  we  agreed 
on  the  tea  that  soon  came  in.  Tea  that  was  tea  ! 

Had  I  been  at  a  civilized  table  I  would  have 
been  driven  to  the  rudeness  of  obstinate-seeming 
denial  by  the  rudeness  of  persistent  request. 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  53 

Will  any  one  tell  me  why  people  who  would 
shrink  from  the  ill-breeding  of  thrusting  food  on 
one  who  neither  needs  nor  wants  it,  account  it 
civility  to  force  drink  on  one  who  says  to  it  nay  f 

For  me,  I  think  the  Chinese  are  gentlemen. 
Let  them  so  stand  recorded. 

XII. 

Still  I  wish  they  could  be  induced  to  introduce 
somewhat  more  of  cleanliness  into  their  places  of 
public  resort. 

One  day,  with  some  Chinese  business  men,  gen 
tlemen  of  elegance  and  culture,  I  went  to  the 
principal  Joss-house,  of  which  there  were  four  in 
the  city,  and  felt,  when  I  came  away,  as  though 
I  stood  in  need  of  a  succession  of  Turkish  baths. 
Leaving  the  carriage  we  turned  up  a  narrow  dirty 
passage-way  into  a  dirty  courtyard,  where  were 
some  dirty  celestials  chopping  up  a  vile  mess  to 
cook  for  their  dinners. 

Another  dirty  passage-way  followed  ;  another 
filthy  courtyard,  a  door,  a  dirty  entry,  a  dirty 
narrow  stairway,  a  dirty  narrow  entry,  a  door — 
through  which  door,  and  after  such  tribulations 
of  transit,  you  enter  the  Joss-house. 

Room  about  thirty-three  feet  in  length,  nearly 


54:  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

square  ;  dirty  floor,  bare  ;  dirty  windows  at  one 
end,  bare  ;  a  table  crossing  the  centre  of  the  room, 
bare  ;  upon  it  some  tinsel  ornaments,  not  bare, 
but  doubly  grimed  ;  ranged  on  the  walls,  objects 
that  look  like  signboards  covered  with  Chinese 
characters,  gilded  but  dirty  and  tarnished  ;  these 
and  the  tinsel  ornaments  and  some  tall  sticks 
adorned  with  peacocks'  feathers,  gifts  to  the  idol. 
An  affair  like  a  big  umbrella,  only  rounder  and 
deeper,  a  sort  of  giant  tumbler,  fine  but  dirty,  to 
shelter  the  god  when  he  takes  his  airings  ;  hang 
ing  from  the  ceiling  some  colored  glass  lanterns 
to  be  used  in  his  night  promenades,  a  second  table 
parallel  with  the  other  table,  bearing  braziers  for 
burning  incense,  dishes  holding  lighted  wicks 
floating  in  oil,  and  a  little  wooden  horse,  a  foot 
high. 

I  asked,  "  What  of  the  little  horse  ?  Why  is 
he  here?" 

"  He  was  a  great  warrior  ;  lived  sixteen  hun 
dred  years  ago.  This  is  his  horse." 

Beyond  the  table  against  the  wall  lie  was 
perched.  A  sort  of  altar  with  drapery  about  it 
opened  sufficiently  to  allow  the  appearance  of  a 
life-sized  head  and  hand.  This  face  had  in  it 
something  noble  and  commanding— high  cheek 


A   MAGGED  REGISTER.  55 

bones,  large  full  eyes,  red  skin,  darker  than  the 
Chinese  complexion,  full  beard,  the  hand  upraised 
with  a  gesture  of  authority,  but  no  reverence 
whatever  paid  him  by  any  one  who  approached. 

"  How  do  you  call  him  ?"  I  asked.  "  Who  is 
he?" 

"  He  was  a  great  general." 

"  But  what  was  his  name." 

"  We  do  not  know." 

"  When  did  he  live  T 

"  We  are  not  sure,  but  near  sixteen  hundred 
years  ago." 

"  Do  you  worship  him  f 

"Oh,  nor 

"  Why  then  is  his  image  here  ?" 

"  It  represents  to  us  his  deeds." 

"  A  symbol.     You  then  worship  his  deeds." 

"  No,  only  as  his  deeds  came  out  of  his  spirit." 

"  And  his  spirit T 

' '  Is  that  of  God.     He  did  much  for  his  people. ' ' 

"  Then  you  worship  God." 

"  Yes,  yes,"  they  answered,  with  a  vague  look 
up  and  around,  and  an  uncertain  wave  of  the 
hand.  "Yes,  God." 

In  the  dark  and  i]l-smelling  room  was  no  priest 
and  no  ceremonv. 


56  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

Their  great  feast  is  at  New  Year  time,  and  they 
come  to  the  temple,  if  they  so  desire,  on  the  first 
day  of  the  month,  or  on  any  day  through  their 
holiday  season  of  January,  but  there  is  no  regular 
service  at  any  time,  and  the  Chinese  who  were 
with  us,  and  some  others  who  straggled  in,  showed 
not  the  slightest  sign  of  reverence  for  any  thing. 

On  one  of  the  tables  stands  a  wooden  vase  filled 
with  "  prayer- sticks,"  delicate  strips  of  bamboo, 
with  pointed  heads,  on  which  are  stamped  some 
characters  and  numbers. 

A  Chinaman  prays,  comes  to  the  Joss-house, 
shakes  up  the  vase,  draws  out  a  stick,  reads  the 
number,  goes  home  and  peruses  the  correspond 
ing  chapter  in  "  the  book,"  and  his  prayer  is  an 
swered.  He  must  interpret  it  as  he  best  can. 

XIII. 

There  are  fifty  places  about  San  Francisco  and 
its  bay  to  interest  and  charm,  and  when  one  has 
driven,  and  tramped,  and  looked,  and  listened, 
till  one  is  quite  worn  out,  I  know  of  no  pleasanter 
twilight  in  which  to  sit  and  rest  brain  and  body 
together,  than  the  little  Church  of  the  "  Mission 
Dolores,"  of  which  Bret  Harte  has  sung  in  melodi 
ous  verse. 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER.  57 

Long  and  narrow,  with  its  whitewashed  walls, 
its  statues  of  apostles,  its  pictured  heads  of 
saints  and  martyrs,  madonnas  and  Christs,  over 
all  an  air,  not  exactly  of  death,  yet  full  of  the 
repose  of  the  tomb. 

Its  ancient  lettering  telling  us  that  "  this  place 
is  none  other  than  the  house  of  God,  and  the  gate 
of  heaven;"  its  holy-water  founts  yellow  with 
age,  the  floor  about  them  worn  by  the  feet  of 
those  who  hoped  by  this  limpid  clearness  to  wash 
away  stains  that  soiled  not  the  body  but  the  soul ; 
its  old,  old  windows  sunk  in  immense  thicknesses 
of  adobe  walls  ;  its  antique  doors,  made  wholly  of 
glass,  swung  wide  from  their  deep  doorways,  and 
through  open  door  and  window,  revealings  not  of 
the  restless  life  of  a  great  city,  but  of  a  soft  green 
ness  that  bends  over  a  myriad  of  sleepers,  lying 
silently  enough  beneath  quaint  carving,  beauties 
of  sorrowing  art  that  age  has  not  blemished,  or 
simple  cross  or  memorial  stone. 

Many  of  these  sleepers,  who  were  awake  in  a 
bygone  time  full  of  calm,  were  old  when  they 
shut  their  eyes  on  life — some  dead  full  early. 
Did  they,  as  those  who  follow  them,  prove  the 
truth  of  the  old  Latin  verdict : 

"  O  vita,  misero  longa,  felici  brevis  !" 


58  A  BAGGED  REGISTER. 

and  was  it  in  sad  or  happy  spirit  they  said,  as  we 
say  now,  O  life  !  long  to  the  unhappy  ;  to  the 
happy,  brief. 

XIV. 

Surely  never  altogether  unhappy  to  one  who 
has  before  him  the  Yosemite,  or,  better  still,  car 
ries  its  remembrance — a  memory  that  can  never 
die. 

From  San  Francisco  by  boat  to  Stockton,  from 
Stockton  to  Knight's  Ferry,  from  Knight's  Ferry 
to  Chinese  Camp,  from  Chinese  Camp  to  Garrote 
(suggestive  name  in  the  mining  regions),  reaching 
supper  and  beds  at  ten  of  the  evening  after 
seventy-one  miles  of  staging. 

As  to  the  dust  absorbed  during  those  seventy - 
one  miles — justice  cannot  be  done  to  it.  It  was 
California  dust.  What  more  can  be  said  ?  Not 
sand,  not  grit,  nor  any  thing  a  traveller  before 
knew  by  that  name  ;  but  powder,  in  which  the 
horses'  feet  fall  noiselessly,  and  which  fills  hair, 
eyes,  nose,  ears,  throat,  lungs,  and  skin,  not  only 
sifting  through,  but  dyeing  every  garment  worn. 

At  first  I  strove  to  be  godly — I  mean  akin  to 
godly — cleanly  ;  and  so  signally  failed  in  the  last 
as  to  overthrow  all  hope  of  the  first.  I  worried, 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER.  50 

and  shook,  and  brushed,  and  cleaned,  and  scour 
ed  till  skin  and  temper  were  equally  rasped  and 
life  a  burthen,  and  finally  decided  to  be  constitu 
tionally  dirty  and  comfortable. 

We  were  monuments  of  dust  that  night,  and 
tired  enough  to  sleep,  even  at  Garrote,  but  quite 
ready  for  an  early  start  the  next  morning,  and 
impatient  to  reach  Harden' s  Mills,  twenty  miles 
away,  where  we  took  horse  for  the  Valley. 

No  baggage  save  hand-bags.  Three  of  the 
party  encased  against  wind  and  weather,  unfash 
ionable  and  picturesque  ;  the  fourth  member  of 
the  organization  arrayed  in  a  soft  felt  hat,  blue 
costume  consisting  of  loose  coat,  skirt  to  the 
knee,  Turkish  trowsers,  woollen  stockings,  and 
stout  shoes.  So  armed  and  equipped  we  bestrode 
our  beasts,  and  were  away  to  the  Yosemite,  not, 
however,  till  we  were  joined  by  another  party 
bound  to  the  same  destination,  one  of  the  ladies 
surveying  our  lady  with  disdain,  and  audibly  de 
siring  her  companions  to  "  look  at  that  vulgar 
creature. ' ' 

And  the  vulgar  creature,  from  her  safe  and 
comfortable  and  natural  seat,  surveyed  the 
wretched  "  ladies'  horses,"  sore  of  back,  lame  of 
leg,  beheld  the  girthing  and  tightening  and  fuss- 


60  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

ing  over  the  groaning  and  miserable  creatures, 
the  lift  into  the  saddles,  the  ungainly  bags  of 
figures  composed  of  half -long  skirts  and  clumsy 
"waterproofs,"  the  twisted  bodies  and  uncom 
fortable  attitudes — took  a  mental  look  ahead  at 
the  twelve  hours'  ride  over  rough  and  dangerous 
roads,  smiled  to  herself,  and  thought,  "  look  at 
those  idiots." 

Sensible  and  foolish,  we  started  and  rode  hour 
after  hour  through  solemn  aisles  of  majestic  trees 
till,  toward  the  close  of  the  afternoon,  we  reach 
ed  open  ground,  where  broke  upon  us  the  over 
ture  to  the  great  harmony  toward  which  we  tend 
ed — a  sight  to  take  one's  breath,  yet  merely  the 
vestibule  of  the  King's  Temple  beyond. 

"  Here,"  said  the  guide,  "we  begin  the  de 
scent  to  the  valley." 

And  we  descended. 

Mesdames,  the  critics,  indulged  in  a  good  deal 
of  screaming,  slipped  at  divers  points,  sometimes 
voluntarily,  sometimes  involuntarily,  from  their 
horses,  walked  over  the  roughest  places,  sum 
moned  guides  and  masculine  friends  to  lead  their 
animals,  to  render  help  of  voice  and  hand,  em 
braced  neck  and  mane  of  their  four-legged  serv 
ants,  till  the  poor  beasties  having  this  misery 


A   BAGGED  REGISTER.  61 

added  to  their  torturing  girths  must  have  almost 
smothered,  and  held  onto  saddle  and  pommel  till 
hands,  arms,  and  chests  were  strained  to  numb 
ness. 

And  no  wonder  ! 

Said  Gushing,  my  tall,  long-limbed,  bright- 
haired,  wide-awake  guide,  who  had  bestrode  every 
thing  from  a  circus  horse  to  a  bucking  Indian 
pony — said  Gushing,  after  jerking  over  and  tight 
ening  down  for  the  twentieth  time  one  of  the  one 
sided  leather  abominations,  "  There  ain't  dust 
enough"  (gold  dust,  innocent  Eastern  friends!) 
"  lying  round  loose  to  hire  me  to  ride  on  one  of 
those  things." 

"  Afraid  of  your  neck  f  said  I. 

"  You  bet,"  said  he. 

Through  countless  tribulations  even  the  social 
martyrs  reached  the  end  of  the  seven  -  miles' 
plunge,  and  rode  forward,  with  the  Ishmaelsof  the 
party,  into  the  Great  Valley,  the  world's  wonder, 
a  sight  for  men  and  angels  to  gaze  at  with  awe  ! 

Before  us,  at  the  left  as  we  entered,  shutting  in 
the  view,  stood  "El  Capitan,"  a  perpendicular 
wall,  no  growth  marring  it,  no  jagged  points 
thrust  out  from  it,  no  waste  nor  debris  at  its  base, 
rising  clean  and  grand  thirty-one  hundred  feet 


62  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

from  a  line  already  four  thousand  feet  above  the 
sea.  Broad  and  strong  at  foot  and  summit,  it 
gives,  more  than  any  other  rock  in  the  valley,  a 
sense  of  solidity,  power,  massiveness. 

Round  the  base  of  this  we  rode,  rock  after  rock 
coming  into  sight,  taking  strange  and  airy  and 
wonderful  and  sublime  shapes,  changing  and 
changing  again  as  we  moved  along  and  beheld 
them  from  different  points  of  vision. 

Through  the  valley  we  advanced  for  the  first 
time  through  the  solemn  stillness  of  the  night,  the 
moonlight  half  revealing,  half  concealing  the 
awful  mountain  majesties  circling  round  and  rest 
ing  with  chastened  splendor  upon  a  fall  of  water 
so  white,  so  airy,  so  delicate  as  to  seem  the  ghost 
of  a  torrent,  dropping  its  length  twenty-six  hun 
dred  feet ! 

Tired  as  I  was,  aching  from  head  to  toe,  I  for 
got  I  had  a  body  as  I  gazed.  Still,  to  confess  to 
human  weakness,  I  shed  no  tears  when,  at  nine 
o'clock,  we  found  at  Hutching' s  ranche  a  com 
fortable  supper,  and  beds  that  would  certainly 
lull  no  sybarite  to  slumber,  but  were  better  than 
double  action  spring  mattresses  to  our  weary 
brains  and  limbs. 

I  know  of  no  more  hopeless  task  than  the  effort 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  63 

to  convey  to  another  any  apprehension  of  this 
marvel  of  nature's  handiwork.  The  popular  idea 
is  that  of  a  sort  of  magnificent  gulch— two  great 
walls  of  rock  broken  at  their  summits. 

The  reality  is  a  valley  eight  miles  in  length, 
and  from  half  a  mile  to  a  mile  in  width,  a  moun 
tain  stream  rushing,  white-crested,  through  its 
centre,  great  pines  adorning  it,  and  the  freshest 
of  grass  covering  the  ground. 

From  this  quiet  greenness,  level  as  a  city  ave 
nue,  with  no  gradual  slope,  these  marvellous 
shapes  abruptly  rise  in  air,  white,  shining,  clean 
of  verdure,  perfect  in  outlines,  three,  four,  five 
thousand  feet  high  ;  rocks  like  cathedral  domes 
and  castle  towers,  rocks  pointed  so  sharply  as  to 
seem  like  needles,  and  rocks  tapering  off  more 
softly  and  slowly  to  their  heads. 

These  fine  and  grand,  these  penetratingly  beau 
tiful  shapes,  have  been  painted  and  copied  and 
photographed  till  multitudes  are  familiar  with 
their  outline,  but  neither  picture  nor  description 
can  convey  any  hint  of  the  height  and  depth,  the 
greatness,  the  majesty  of  it  all,  and  description 
added  to  picture,  and  picture  studied,  and  then 
the  eye  used  on  the  living  presentment,  all  fail  to 
enable  you  to  grasp  the  marvellous  whole. 


64  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

You  gaze  and  count,  wonder  and  calculate, 
make  your  neck  ache  and  your  understanding- 
crack,  and  you  say  "  this  is  two  thousand"  or 
"  this  is  five  thousand  feet  high,"  or  "  this  fall 
plunges  down  a  thousand — twenty-six  hundred 
feet,"  and  you  iterate  and  repeat  till  the  words 
and  figures  bear  no  sense  to  your  mind,  and  are 
but  empty  sounds. 

There  is  nothing  whereby  to  compare.  The 
trees  in  the  valley  elsewhere  would  be  marvels. 
There,  standing  at  the  base  of  one  of  these  stu 
pendous  piles,  they  seem  but  common  scanty 
growth,  and  this  pile,  among  its  neighbors,  is 
simply  a  rock  in  the  midst  of  rocks,  and  if  you 
try  to  compel  an  understanding  of  the  thing  be 
fore  you,  you  stretch  and  struggle  till  the  brain 
feels  bursting,  and  at  last  confess  your  impotency. 
You  cannot  grasp  and  take  it  in. 

When  we  see  from  above,  when  the  trammels 
and  bounds  of  earthly  calculation  and  human 
ability  are  thrown  aside,  we  may  comprehend 
Yosemite,  but  not  now.  It  is  the  spiritual  eyes 
alone  that  can  behold  with  the  possessing  vision 
this  god-like  scene. 

But,  to  a  mere  human,  what  days  of  delight 
does  it  afford  and  what  memories  to  hold  in  trust ! 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  65 

I  bethink  me  of  one  evening  when  we  tramped  past 
the  lovely  heads  of  the  Three  Graces,  the  stately 
strength  of  the  Sentinel,  and  the  solemn  majesty 
of  the  Cathedral  Pile  to  behold  the  sun-setting  on 
one  of  the  strangest  "  Bridal  Veils"  in  the  world. 

Assuredly  the  spirit  for  which  it  was  made 
must  be  "tall,"  and  ought  to  be  "  young  and 
fair,"  since  itself  is  in  length  nine  hundred  and 
fifty  feet. 

Narrow  at  its  top,  and  fanning  out  as  it  falls  into 
lace-like  mist  and  filmy  gossamer  spray.  Here 
and  there  through  its  spider  web  the  water  gathers 
into  arrow-heads  drawing  after  them  long  spread 
ing  tails,  and  looking,  as  they  shoot  downward, 
like  marvels  from  frost  or  fairy  land. 

It  had  rained  through  the  afternoon,  and  as  we 
stood  at  the  foot  of  the  fall,  there  were  in  full 
view  four  distinct  bows  spanning  the  valley  from 
the  North  to  the  Half  Dome,  with  sections  of  other 
bows  flung  about  in  lavish  splendor.  The  fall 
itself  was  a  dazzling  mass  of  prismatic  hues,  the 
sky  and  air  filled  with  rosy  and  amber  light,  till 
at  last  the  glorious  colors  crept  slowly  up  their 
shining  ladder  and  left  the  fall  to  a  gray  pallor 
that  was  wraith-like  and  sad. 

And  of  one  morning  when  we  rode  over  to  Mir- 


66  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

ror  Lake,  lying  outside  the  valley,  on  the  placid 
surface  of  which  the  mountains  around  reappear 
with  marvellous  fidelity,  not  only  in  shape  and 
coloring,  but  seemingly  in  the  very  texture  of  the 
rocks,  till,  as  you  gaze  downward,  you  clap  hand 
on  head,  and  prospect  for  signs  of  feet,  to  decide 
the  relative  positions  of  each,  and  so  make  sure 
which  is  mountain  and  which  shadow. 

And  of  other  and  yet  other  days  upon  which 
we  clambered  up  the  white  granite  face  of  this  or 
that  giant,  to  look  out  at  his  comrades,  and  did 
not  go  astray,  because  we  could  not,  in  finding 
sights  that  would  have  repaid  the  expenditure  of 
any  amount  of  time  and  toil. 

And  of  one  supreme  day  when  we  mounted 
steed,  rode  away  under  the  stately  forest  growth 
through  the  pass  by  the  Half  Dome,  close  to  the 
side  of  the  sparkling  and  plunging  Merced  River, 
till  the  trail  grew  so  steep  and  narrow  our  ani 
mals  could  no  further  go,  then,  dismounting,  took 
to  our  own  feet  and  the  companionship  of  stout 
walking-sticks  up  a  most  forbidding  pathway 
that  led  us  to  the  Vernal  Fall. 

A  leap  of  three  hundred  and  fifty  feet,  white 
as  falling  snow,  glittering  as  gems,  laughing  and 
dancing  down  its  wall  of  glacier- like  rock,  not 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER  67 

grand,  nor  solemnizing,  nor  overwhelming,  but 
just  perfection — that  is  the  Vernal  Fall. 

We  dived  into  waterproof  cases  and  clambered 
on.  The  mud  ankle  deep,  the  blinding  spray  beat 
ing  against  us  like  a  heavy  fall  of  rain,  so  past  its 
base,  then,  dropping  the  unwieldy  over-garments, 
scrambled  by  its  side,  up,  up  a  ladder  placed 
against  the  flat  cheek  of  granite,  then  up,  up,  up 
another  ladder,  and  so  were  at  the  top. 

A  broad  smooth  table  of  stone,  at  its  outer  edge 
a  natural  parapet,  breast  high,  and  shaped  as 
though  made  with  hands,  over  which  one  can 
lean  and  look  for  hours — not  content  with  this  I 
crawled  to  the  point  where  the  water  plunged 
over  the  lip  of  the  fall,  thrust  out  my  head,  and 
tried  to  gaze  my  fill  at  the  dazzling  mass  as  it 
swept  down  and  away.  Below  it  the  shining 
line  of  the  river.  The  rocks  of  the  valley  in  the 
near  distance.  Afar  a  world  of  mountains.  Over 
head  a  few  fleecy  clouds  showing  against  a  sky 
that  was  like  polished  turquoise. 

After  a  space — oh,  woeful  falling  off — we  trav 
elled  onward  to  a  charming  spot,  midway  the 
head  of  the  Vernal  and  the  foot  of  the  Nevada 
Falls,  camped,  ate  our  lunch — low  be  it  spoken 
— with  the  appetite  of  wolves,  then,  rested  and 


G8  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

refurbished,  went  our  way  to  the  Cap  of  Lib 
erty. 

The  mountain  is  exactly  defined  by  its  name. 
It  is  as  perfect  a  Liberty  Cap  as  though  it  were  the 
great  original,  and  the  most  beautiful  object  to  be 
seen  even  here. 

Standing  solitary  from  its  base,  not  a  rock 
touching  it  nor  even  resting  near,  its  face  and 
sides  white  as  purity,  bare  as  penury  and  up 
right  as  truth,  its  back  a  slope  dotted  with  tim 
ber  that  makes  it  possible  of  ascent,  forty-eight 
hundred  feet  above  the  valley,  and  the  valley 
four  thousand  feet  above  the  sea, 

None  but  Indians  and  a,  venturesome  guide  had 
hitherto  ascended  it,  and  at  starting  we  were 
cheered  by  dismal  forebodings  and  prognostica 
tions  of  defeat. 

Well,  we  went  up  it.  What  else  should  we  do  ? 
A  hard  climb,  a  hot  climb,  a  steep  climb  ;  there 
were  spaces  where  we  had  to  take  off  our  shoes 
and  travel  in  stocking  feet — gingerly  at  that,  and 
there  were  places  where  my  tall  guide,  having 
first  "  skinned  up  "  perpendicular  walls  of  rock, 
then  flattened  and  bent  down,  did  his  best  to  dis 
locate  two  pairs  of  arms  as  he  "yanked"  me 
bodily  to  standing  ground  beside  him,  and  there 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER.  00 

were  shining  shelving  reaches,  glittering  and  slip 
pery  as  ice  that  we  crawled  over  on  hands  and 
knees,  and  there  were  stretches  of  journey  where 
we  were  parched  for  want  of  water,  and  there 
were  rattlesnakes  in  abundance,  two  of  which  I 
killed  with  stick  and  claw,  and  was  vastly  in 
flated  by  the  achievement,  and  finally  there  was 
the  summit ! 

A  fragmentary  view  of  the  valley  on  the  one 
side  ;  on  the  other  the  "  Little  Yosemite,"  at  this 
distance  almost  rivalling  in  beauty  its  great  name 
sake;  two  far  oft*  mountains,  "Cloud's  Rest" 
and  the  "  Cathedral  Peak,"  dwarfing  by  their 
majesty  those  near  at  hand  ;  ranges  and  spurs  of 
the  Sierras  with  glittering  heads,  looming  up 
across  emerald  spaces,  here  and  there  a  point  so 
blue  as  to  show  black,  so  steep  and  high  as  to  be 
blown  bare  of  snow,  and  close  beside  and  above 
us,  across  the  pallid  brow  of  the  "  Half  Dome,"  a 
thunder-storm  swirling  and  raging,  deafening  re 
verberations  sounding  from  peak  to  peak,  light 
ning  ripping  the  air  with  the  sound  of  tearing 
cambric,  electricity  clawing  at  the  gazer  with 
small  fiend-like  talons,  and  at  last  calm  and  an 
effulgent  light  as  the  sun,  dispersing  all  blots  and 
blemishes,  moved  slowly  and  majestically  to  the 
west. 


?0  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

So  absorbed  were  we  as  to  lose  thought  of  time. 
When  at  last  we  made  the  descent,  struck  across 
the  intervening  mile  to  the  top  of  the  Nevada 
Fall,  gazed  at  its  700  feet  of  splendor,  dropped 
down  its  side,  and  finally  gained  the  parapet  of 
the  Vernal  Fall,  the  air  was  no  longer  dusky  but 
dense — it  was  not  twilight,  but  night. 

Certainly  the  ladder  transit  was  wild  enough, 
back  foremost,  hands  and  feet  both  in  hard  ser 
vice,  but  that  was  Jwliday  toil  to  the  rest  of  the 
tramp  ! 

The  way  was  dark.  The  path  was  slippery, 
stones,  and  foot-deep  mud  making  each  step  a 
danger ;  a  wall  of  rock  on  the  one  hand,  the 
wraith-like  fall  of  hundreds  of  feet  on  the  other, 
an  abyss  beneath  ;  a  thunderous  roar  filling  the 
air,  the  spray  and  mist  fiying  wild  and  white 
through  the  night.  Below  us  Egyptian  darkness, 
all  about  us  sombre  mountains,  inaccessible 
heights,  their  tops  thousands  of  feet  away,  peaks 
and  points  and  towers  and  pinnacles  and  domes, 
shapes  of  beauty  and  shapes  of  grace,  and  shapes 
of  majesty  and  power  :  these  and  these  alone 
touched  by  the  rising  glory  of  the  moon,  and  fair 
ly  glittering  in  its  light. 

All  experiences  have  an  end.     At  last  we  gained 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

our  horses,  plunged  down  the  gloomy  treacherous 
trail,  and  at  midnight  reached  our  temporary  home. 

Certainly  we  did  very  little  climbing  the  next 
morning,  but  the  next  evening  I  mounted  my  pony 
and  rode  away  alone  for  a  farewell  sunset. 

Rain  had  been  falling,  a  refreshing  shower  from 
a  sunlit  sky,  and  the  air  was  full  of  a  splendor  of 
coloring  that  no  pigment  and  canvas  could  repro 
duce.  On  one  side  the  valley  the  rocks  stood 
gray  and  drear  ;  on  the  other  rich  crimson  gave 
way  to  purple,  purple  to  amethyst,  amethyst  to 
blue,  blue  to  imperceptible  shadings  of  delicate 
and  exquisite  hues,  the  effect  being  not  that  of 
tinted  granite,  but  of  a  haze  that  left  the  outlines 
clearly  defined,  yet  touched  them  with  the  soft 
ness  of  velvet.  At  the  west,  where  the  mountains 
close  in,  a  scrap  of  sky  looking  like  nothing  so 
much  as  an  enormous  emerald. 

I  sat  still  on  my  pony  till  all  the  splendid 
phantasmagoria  vanished,  and  the  stone  sentries 
stood  brown,  gray,  black,  deep  shadows  lining 
them,  the  gloom  of  night  compassing  them, 
watched  by  the  solemn  stillness  of  the  stars  ;  and 
the  next  morning  we  rode  away  from  both  day 
light  and  starlight  in  the  wonderful  valley. 

An  all- day  ride  along  the  Maripose  trail,  to  a 


72  A   RAGGED   REGISTER. 

night's  repose  at  "  Clarke's  ranche  ;"  a  morning 
with  the  Big  Trees  and  their  majestic  neighbors 
the  firs  and  sugar-pines,  each  of  these  large 
enough  to  be  elsewhere  a  world's  wonder,  good 
things  to  see,  good  things  to  remember  —  one 
must  lift  eye,  and  thought,  and  imagination  to 
them  even  in  memory — from  these,  fourteen  miles 
of  "  deep  sea-diving,"  an  undeviating  descent  that 
puts  knee-pans  at  a  discount  for  some  days  there 
after,  a  ride  ending  at  "White  &  Hatch's," 
where  we  were  fed  like  kings  and  slept  the  sleep 
of  the  just. 

A  night  coach-ride — the  night  void  of  moon 
and  sights — suited  not  us  who  wanted  to  see  every 
thing,  so  our  last  stage  was  made  in  a  hired  she 
bang  which  took  us  to  Stockton. 

Truly  a  fine-looking  turn-out  was  presented  to 
view  at  four  o'clock  of  the  pleasant  summer  morn 
ing  ! 

At  least  clean,  whole,  and  unencumbered  when 
we  went  into  the  valley,  we  turned  away  there 
from  and  set  our  faces  toward  civilization  n't  sub 
jects  for  its  chastening  hand. 

Capital  horses,  a  spring  waggon  burdened  with 
no  luggage  save  paltry  hand-bags,  yet  fur 
nishing  no  superfluous  room  for  its  human  freight 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  73 

— a  big  canvas  bag  of  moss,  another  of  cones, 
manzanita  sticks,  and  other  sticks  wrapped  in 
shreds  of  garments,  and  tied  together  in  un 
shapely  bundles  ;  clumsy  pieces  of  big-tree  bark  ; 
thumping  pieces  of  big-tree  wood  ;  cones  too  pre 
cious  to  be  trusted  to  the  bag,  held  by  their  stems 
with  questionable  rags  draped  preservative!^ 
about  them ;  long  poles  festooned  with  moss 
thrust  out  behind  ;  presiding  over  all,  four  dirty, 
ragged,  unshorn,  unkempt,  entirely  contented 
tramps  with  their  German  driver,  an  epitome  of 
horse  lore  and  good-nature — a  spectacle  to  pro 
voke  envy  and  horror. 

Fortunately  there  were  no  critical  eyes  to  gaze 
at  us,  and  be  shocked  at  the  sight.  With 
change  of  animals  we  rode  that  day  eighty -five 
miles,  and  met  not  a  soul.  Everywhere  yellow 
wheat  fields  dotted  with  oaks,  but  the  country 
generally  so  lonely,  so  bare  and  parched  as  to  give 
one  a  sense  of  desolation. 

Yet  surely  never  before  was  seeming  desolation 
such  real  richness.  We  passed  one  wheat -field, 
unbroken  by  fence  or  stake,  undivided  save  by 
the  beds  of  two  rivers  (needing  no  division,  since 
it  was  the  partnership  property  of  two  men),  fifty- 
seven  miles  in  length  ! 


71  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

Halted  at  a  ferry  thirty  miles  out  of  Stockton, 
and  camped  for  the  night  under  the  light  of  the 
"  Lone  Star." 

I  have  travelled,  and  I  am  not  squeamish,  and 
I'  ve  stopped  at  Western  hotels,  and  difficult  ones 
at  that,  but  I  confess  to  being  appalled  at  this 
hostel. 

A  house  without  upper  regions.  The  lower 
regions  carpetless,  furnitureless,  save  for  a  few 
benches  about  a  central  board  in  the  dining-room  ; 
beds  as  abandoned  by  their  latest  occupants,  and 
infested  by  "  their  legal  inhabitants"  (if  length  of 
possession  gives  right)  in  the  sleeping  cells  ;  some 
phenomenally  dirty  wash-basins  without  accom 
paniment  of  water,  soap  or  towels,  in  solitary  pos 
session  of  the  toilet  apartment,  not  another  thing 
in  the  place  but  bushels  of  meal-like  dust  lying 
round  or  heaped  up  '  *  promiscuous' '  — a  species  of 
furniture  and  ornamentation  combined.  At  least 
it  served  to  fill  spaces  that  would  else  have  been 
given  over  to  absolute  vacancy. 

A  big  gaunt  woman,  mistress  and  maid,  cooked 
us  an  atrociously  bad  supper,  a  big  gaunt  man, 
her  husband,  served  it,  a  half  dozen  villainous 
looking  drovers  helped  us  eat  it,  after  which, 
having  failed  to  beg,  borrow,  or  steal  any  clean 


A   RAGGED   REGISTER.  75 

linen  for  the  beds,  I  made  them  up  wrong  side 
out,  retired  to  my  own  den  and  slept  on  the  floor 
— and  avenged  myself  the  next  night  at  Frisco,  by 
ringing  my  bell  at  intervals  of  twenty  minutes, 
and  having  the  entire  procession  of  bell  boys  at 
the  Cosmopolitan  "  roped  in"  to  my  service. 

XV. 

I  would  like  to  see  the  Geysers  again — yes,  and 
the  "  Big  Red  woods,"  and  Santa  Cruz,  and 
Moore's  Beach,  and  the  pebbly  beach  of  Pesce- 
dera,  and  Monterey, — and  I  would  like  to  know 
if  its  human  monument  yet  stands  or  has  drooped 
to  its  original  clay. 

I  went  to  Monterey  to  look  at  its  old  missions, 
and  while  there  read  in  its  little  weekly  paper  of 
something  more  ancient  than  they  —  an  Indian 
woman  providing  for  herself  and  supporting  her 
blind  great-grandchild  by  working  in  the  fields, 
who,  as  the  Jesuit  records  of  baptism  showed,  was 
one  hundred  and  forty-two  years  old,  and  a  little 
while  thereafter  I  beheld  her  sitting  by  the  road 
side  and  paused  for  some  confab  with  this  voice 
of  time. 

Her  brown  skin,  shrunken  face,  fiery  black  eyes, 
snow-white  hair,  cut  square  across  the  forehead 


76  A   RAGGED   REGISTER. 

and  falling  in  a  shower  on  her  shoulders,  with 
scarlet  drapery  flying  in  the  wind,  gave  her  an 
uncanny  look  that  was  a  delightful  change  from 
the  commonplace  sameness  of  ordinary  mortals. 

When  the  Jesuit  mission  of  1779  was  built  she 
could  scarcely  have  been  called  a  young  woman, 
yet  she  was  one  of  its  builders — carried  stones  and 
clay  and  timber  with  other  Indian  converts. 
These  younger  companions  were  dead  and  forgot 
ten,  and  the  Jesuits  gone,  the  church  a  ruin,  and 
the  vast  power  of  the  priests  a  memory  of  the 
past,  but  the  old  woman  lived,  strong  and  vigor 
ous.  Does  she  live  still  ? 

And  I  would  like  to  see  Shasta  and  the  North 
ern  Range,  and  run  down  to  Taho  and  Donner 
lakes,  and  while  there  I  would  like  to  be  able  to 
christen  the  latter  afresh,  if  in  wiping  out  its  old 
name  one  could  also  erase  the  memory  of  its  story. 
You  know  it  ?— how,  years  ago,  one  of  the  early 
emigrant  trains  was  here  belated.  A  delayed 
start,  or  too  long  tarriance  by  the  way  brought 
them  to  this  spot,  where  they  were  overtaken  by 
the  first  snows  of  the  Sierras. 

Part  pushed  on  and  reached  Sacramento  in 
safety,  the  others  quarrelled  and  divided,  moved 
forward  only  to  turn  back,  the  cattle  strayed 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER.  77 

away,  the  counsels  were  diverse.  They  camped 
and  waited — waited  in  vain  for  the  succor  that 
strove  to  reach,  but  could  not  iind  them  through 
the  intervening  barriers  of  snow. 

They  ate  all  their  supply  of  summer  provisions, 
and  as  the  dreary  days  dragged  on  could  find 
nothing  else  to  gnaw  save  themselves,  and 
amongst  themselves  they  cast  lots  for  death. 

A  ghastly  tale  ! 

Forty-six  of  these  wretches  here  perished  in 
supremest  agony  and  were  at  last  found,  some 
but  bones,  some  partly  devoured,  some  heroically 
dead  of  elected  starvation. 

Donner  was  the  name  of  the  leader  of  this 
party,  and  his  name  darkens  the  lake — pity  that 
it  has  not  one  less  fraught  with  awful  associations, 
more  in  keeping  with  its  own  divine  clearness  and 
surpassing  charm. 

And  I  would  like,  turning  from  all  this  and 
more,  to  slip  back  along  the  rails  to  Cheyenne, 
clamber  to  the  driver1  s  box  at  six  of  the  afternoon, 
and  away  for  a  twenty-two  hours  drive  to  Denver 
—and  the  mountains. 

XVI. 

But  there  is  no  coach  now — no,  and  I  am  not  at 
the  Avestern  but  the  eastern  end  of  the  route. 


78  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

Shall  I  go  in  fact,  or  only  in  memory  over  the 
last  trip  to  the  great  Main  Range,  and  the  Arkan 
sas  Divide,  and  beyond  ? 

Did  I  start  from  Philadelphia  ? 

Yes,  I  did  start  from  Philadelphia. 

Alone  ? 

No,  with  some  very  agreeable  companions. 

Will  I  tell  any  thing  about  Pennsylvania  by  the 
way  ? 

No,  that  is  too  old  a  story  ;  I  did  not  look  out 
for  sights  and  sounds  in  that  region. 

All  the  same,  one  came  to  me,  I  remember, 
when  the  train  stopped  for  supper  at  some  little 
town  near  Wheeling. 

Enter  a  specimen  ! 

The  oddest  looking  young  fellow,  who  mean 
dered  about  the  new  and  handsome  sleeping -coach, 
staring  at  it  with  wonder  and  awe,  finally  bringing 
up  opposite  my  observing  eyes,  and  untouched 
lunch,  bobbing  his  head  and  pronouncing  ' '  eve 
ning." 

"  Good-evening,  sir,"  I  answered  my  friend,  who 
reveled  in  red  hair  and  a  verdant  countenance,  big 
check  trowsers  and  a  "  flopping"  linen  sack. 

"I'm  of  a  speculative  turn,"  he  continued, 
"  I  am.  I  like  to  see  what  I  can.  No  offence. 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  ^ 

I'm  all  right.  See  for  yourself,"  and  he  fished  a 
"pass"  from  the  depths  of  a  capacious  pocket, 
and  informed  me  he  was  a  "  school  teacher  and  a 
local  preacher— yes,  and  respected,  I  might  ven 
ture  to  say  very  much  respected  too." 

What  could  I  do  but  bow  and  await  further  de 
velopments  \ 

"  Sleeping-car,  eh  f 

"  Yes.  P.  P.  Pullman  Palace  Sleeping  Car," 
grinning  to  myself,  as  I  invariably  do  each  time  I 
am  called  upon  to  repeat  the  snobbishly  fine 
name. 

' '  Heathenish  !"  protested  he.  ' '  Couldn'  t  they 
find  some  nice  Christian  name  of  a  girl  to  call  it 
for,  without  going  back  to  that  goddess— or  what 
ever  she  was  f ' 

I  gazed  inquisitively. 

"  Oh  I  know,  Pallas.  I've  read  about  her  in 
the  old  Greek  chaps.  'Tain't  fair.  She's  had 
her  day.  She  ought  to  get  out  for  Mary,  or  Sue, 
or  Jeannie,  or  something  of  that  figure,  hey  ?' ' 

"  Right,"  I  answered,  "  if  you  were  right ;  but 
you  aren't.  It  isn't  P-a-1-l-a-s,  Pallas,  but  p-a-1- 
a-c-e,  palace  car." 

"  Oh  !  that !  Palace  is  it  ?"  contemplating  anew 
the  superb  upholstery,  gorgeous  carpet,  and  sealed 


80  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

windows.  "  Palace  ?"  sniffing  the  air  ;  "  well  it 
smells  bad/' 

"  So  it  does, ' '  I  assented,  ' '  but  that  is  the  '  badge 
of  all  its  kind.'  'Tis  a  family  peculiarity.  Eail- 
way  coaches,  as  a  rule,  always  smell  bad.  From 
much  companionship  the  passengers  grow  so  fond 
of  their  own  air  they  can't  bear  to  change  it." 

' '  For  the  land1  s  sake  !  That  so  ?  My  !  What 
queer  people  ;"  and  then  with  a  gesture  that 
might  mean  "enough  of  human  affairs,"  un 
friend's  interest  in  art  revived.  Gingerly  feeling 
the  rods  and  knobs  he  demanded — 

"  Silver?" 

"  So  they  say." 

"Solid  silver?" 

"  Oh,  no,"  I  answer,  "  only  washed." 

"Cheat!"  he-  cried  with  manifest  disgust. 
"  Come  from  far  ?" 

"Philadelphia." 

"  My  !     That  so  !     Going  far  ?' ' 

"To  Colorado." 

"  My-y  !  by  yourself  \  Better  take  a  compan^ 
ion." 

"  Have  some,"  I  say,  pointing  "  at  supper." 

"Supper?  sho !  and  left  you  here  alone? 
Mebbe  they're  not  sociable  ?" 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER.  81 

I  explained  that  /  was  not  hungry. 

He  looked  meditative,  suddenly  started, "  Those 
grapes  didn'  t  grow  round  these  parts  I  reckon  ?' ' 
gazing  at  a  little  open  basket  of  black  Hamburg's 
and  Malagas. 

"No." 

"  Well,  now,  just  for  a  curiosity,  would  you 
sell  me  a  bunch  of  them  ?"  again  fishing  in  the 
capacious  receptacle,  and  bringing  out  a  pocket- 
book.  "  I've  got  a  real  nice  girl  I  go  to  see  every 
Sunday  night,  and  I'  d  like  well  to  carry  her  such 
a  thing  as  that.  I  always  carry  her  something. 
Will  you  sell  me  a  bunch  now  ?" 

"  No,  I  won't  sell  you  one,  but  I  will  be  happy 
to  give  you  two,"  which  I  proceeded  to  do,  and 
he  was  enchanted. 

Just  then  up  came  the  sleeping-car  porter  with 
a  message  concerning  a  cup  of  tea,  had  his  answer 
and  vanished.  My  friend  remained  with  open  lips. 

"  I  say,  what  did  that  colored  individual  call 
you?"  ' 

"  Miss  Dickinson." 

"  What's  your  whole  name  now  ?" 

II  Anna  Dickinson." 

"  My  !  That  so  !  Why,  you've  got  the  same 
name  as  the  big  orator.  Any  relation  ?" 


82  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 


"None?" 

"None!"  the  disappointment  in  the  queer 
good-natured  face  was  too  much  for  me — "  since  I 
am  she — at  least  I  am  the  only  one  of  that  name, 
big  or  little,  who  makes  speeches." 

"My!     No!     Why!     Just  let  me  sit  down  !" 

Which  he  did — heavily. 

Rumination  follows.  Contemplation  of  grapes. 
Speech  seemingly  made  to  some  inward  ear — 

"  If  I  could  keep  them  forever,  I  would,  but 
grapes  won't  keep  for  ever  ?"  looking  inquiringly 
at  me. 

"  No,"  I  responded. 

Face  fell,  brightened  ;  hand  fished  again — out 
came  a  big  clasp  knife  ;  face  brilliant. 

4  i  Now,  I  tell  you  what !  this  is  a  big  thing  for 
me.  Orators  don' t  run  round  loose  over  my  gar 
den  patch  every  day.  Like  enough  it  won' t  hap 
pen  more'n  once  or  twice  in  a  life  time.  Nobody 
at  home' 11  believe  where  I  got  those  grapes  unless 
I  have  something  to  show  for  it — just  let  me  slice 
off  a  little  scrap  of  your  hair." 

A  palaver  ensued,  and  at  last  I  pacified  him  with 
a  card  and  an  autograph,  and  the  whole  basket  of 
grapes,  and  I  hope  he  and  his  "girl"  made  a 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER.  83 

feast  of  them,  and  had  half  as  ridiculously  good 
a  time  over  them  as  I  had  over  Jiim. 

XVII. 

The  "  companions"  having  come  in,  gazed 
after  him  curiously  ;  then  proceed  to  propound 
a  question. 

To  which  I — "  Queer  people  \  Met  queer  people 
in  travelling  ?  Of  course.  What  other  people 
should  I  meet  ?  It  is  one  of  my  firm  convictions 
that  the  only  people  who  travel  are  queer  people, 
or  worse. 

"  Of  course  with  exceptions. 

"  Tell  you  about  them  ?  No,  I  won't  tell  you 
about  them.  I  never  talk  in  the  cars." 

"What!  never?" 

"  Well "  no,  I  did  not  say  it. 

Don't  I  get  tired  of  solitude  \  Sometimes, 
but  solitude  is  better  than  prostration.  There  is 
no  labor  more  fatiguing  than  that  of  yelling 
against  the  noise  of  the  train  and  of  straining 
every  nerve  of  the  head  to  hear — unless  indeed  it 
be  to  talk,  under  any  condition,  with  the  people 
who  then  and  there  assail  you.  If  one  has  to  use 
voice  and  brains  and  vital  force  in  the  evening, 
one  can't  bawl  for  the  delectation— or  reverse — of 


84  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

every  one  who  seizes  you  with  a  "  stand  and  de 
liver.  " 

The  reason  why  "  professionals"  prefer  hotels 
to  private  hospitality  ?  Precisely.  No  amount 
even  of  limitless  fees  can  enable  them  to  afford 
the  latter. 

Some  hosts  make  a  feast  and  bring  together 
their  friends  and  neighbors  to  see  the  animal  feed, 
and  that  spoils  the  animal's  appetite  ;  and  some 
collect  a  company  to  hear  the  lion  roar— the 
fatigued  lion  preferring  to  stay  in  the  corner  and 
lick  its  paws,  and  getting  abused  accordingly  ; 
and  some  make  great  show  of  hospitality  and  ex 
pect  the  speaker — who  of  course  is  a  clock  wound 
up  and  always  ready  to  go — to  take  out  his  board 
and  lodging  in  talk,  and  that  is  an  extravagant 
expenditure  of  strength  and  voice,  soon  ending  in 
bankruptcy  ;  and  some  are  so  considerate  and 
kind  and  friendly  as  to  suggest  home-sickness,  and 
afflict  one  with  regret  at  parting. 

No.  The  halting  place  for  a  traveller  should 
be  at  a  "  traveller's  home"— fine  irony  !  Where 
one  can  eat  and  sleep  and  read  and  rest,  and  order 
and  growl  ad  libitum,  with  none  to  molest  nor 
make  afraid. 

I  do  bethink  me  though,  that  now  and  again  I 


A   RAGGED   REGISTER.  85 

have  broken  the  rule  of  car  silence  to  my  content, 
or  profit,  or  amusement,  as  the  case  may  be. 

I  remember  leaving  -  --  one  morning  very 
early — the  early  start  of  itself  being  a  misery 
for  the  day  ;  and  so  sat  huddled  up  in  a  corner 
of  the  seat,  looking  with  a  malevolent  eye  at 
whoso  approached  me  with  manifest  intent  of 
converse,  when  bag  and  wrap  were  lifted  by 
a  strong,  white,  shapely  hand,  and  a  clear  voice 
just  tinged  with  foreign  richness  said,  "  I  will 
sit  by  Miss  Anna  Dickinson  and  talk  with  her  for 
a  while — at  her  good  pleasure." 

' i  Sit  and  talk  by  all  means,  my  friend, ' '  said  I ; 
and  so  a  Sister  of  Charity  took  the  seat  beside  me. 

I  confess  myself  astounded,  for  usually  the  Sis 
ters  are  as  reticent  as  the  dead— and  seemingly 
with  as  little  interest  as  they  in  the  everyday  life 
of  the  world  ;  but  this  one  had  been  through  the 
hospitals  of  Great  Britain — had  wrought  service 
in  the  wars  of  the  Crimea,  Italy,  France,  Ger 
many,  and  had  seen  and  heard  with  eye  and  ear, 
and  with  the  understanding  also. 

She  was  an  enthusiast,  yet  practical ;  a  devotee, 
yet  full  of  interest  in  the  things  of  time  ;  an  ardent 
Catholic,  yet  a  sympathizer  with  the  movement 
for  the  social  and  intellectual  advance  of  women. 


86  A  RAGGED  REGISTER, 

Irish  by  nationality,  forty  in  years,  probably 
of  gentle  blood, — for  she  had  the  air  of  one  born 
to  command, — of  dignified  and  noble  counte 
nance. 

She  asked  me  a  thousand-  questions  about  my 
self  and  my  work,  and  wondered  I  had  not  found 
the  pathway  to  the  mother  church,  "  where  all 
earnest  souls  belong.  Ah,  my  sister,  what  a 
career,  what  work  for  you  there." 

"Where,"  she  asked,  and  justly,  "has  the 
Protestant  Church  found  or  tried  to  make  work, 
and  place,  and  opportunity  for  the  multitudes  of 
women  who  have  no  vocation  for  marriage — what 
has  been  done  for  these  has  been  done,  largely  at 
least,  by  those  wliom  the  church  condemns." 

Assuredly  in  this  matter,  the  Church  of  Rome 
has  shown  the  wisdom  for  which  she  has  been 
famous,  bestowing  an  inestimable  blessing  upon 
these  myriads  of  women,  and  through  these  upon 
the  world. 

I  never  meet  a  Sister  of  Charity  without  want 
ing  to  stand  in  the  gutter,  if  need  be,  for  her  to  go 
by  dry  shod. 

Knowing  neither  fear  nor  prejudice  where  pov 
erty,  contagion,  disaster,  death  demand  tending. 
Going  with  quick  feet,  and  trained  hands,  and 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER.  87 

thoughtful  brain,  and  tender  heart,  and  pure  soul 
to  succor  and  help  all  who  have  need. 

The  nuns  ?     No. 

They  represent  self-destruction. 

The  Sisters?    Yes. 

They  represent  self-renunciation. 

Two  very  different  conditions. 

The  one  buries  all  of  her  life  that  might  think, 
feel,  work  for  Tier  kind,  and  expects  through  this 
grave  to  grasp  heaven.  The  other  buries  all  that 
would  think,  feel,  work  for  self  alone,  strives  to 
bring  a  breath  of  heaven  to  others,  and  finds  it 
even  -here  for  herself. 

May  she  keep  it !  May  the  sun  shine  on  her 
pathway,  the  hand  of  God  rest  tenderly  on  her, 
and  lead  her  all  her  days  ! 

So  I  mused  when  this  one  left  me,  and  went 
her  way  to  the  accomplishment  of  some  deed  of 
help  and  mercy. 

XVIII. 

Hers  had  been  a  gentle  influence  and  certainly 
I  needed  a  quieting  one  for  what  was  to  come. 

At  L—  I  had  to  hear  me  the  assembled  wisdom 
of  the  State,  and  thought  it  made  a  very  poor 
show.  What  wonder  !  Three  dollars  a  day  ! 


88  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

The  only  men  who  will  accept  such  compensation 
must  be  patriots  of  ye  ancient  style — which  style 
is  out  of  fashion  at  date — lewd  fellows  of  the 
baser  sort  who  take  a  little  honestly  for  the  sake 
of  the  chance  at  a  dishonest  much,  or  unclassified 
beings  who  make  herculean  efforts  for  the  oppor 
tunity  of  strutting  and  fretting  their  little  hour, 
and  thereby  gain  a  brief  notoriety  that  to  them 
seems  immortality. 

Why  not  ?  when,  one  and  all,  we  so  constantly 
confound  noise  with  fame. 

One  of  these  State  Solons,  a  Senator  cadaverous, 
and  yet  cabbagey  of  expression,  did,  on  the  fol 
lowing  morning  honor  me  by  a  call  and  his  con 
fidence. 

Sinking  into  a  corner  of  the  sofa  from  whence 
he  had  arisen  to  bow  stiffly,  he  besought  at  the 
outset  the  privilege  of  seeing  me  alone. 

"  Not  here — oh,  not  here,  where  so  many  rude 
and  careless  eyes  will  gaze  upon  us,  but  alone, 
quite,  quite  alone." 

As  the  hotel  parlor  sheltered,  save  ourselves, 
but  two  harmless  looking  women,  I  thought  he 
might  content  himself  with  its  extensive  privacy, 
and  endeavored  to  convert  him  to  that  opinion, 
but  finally  took  compassion  on  his  weakness  and 


A   BAGGED  REGISTER.  89 

led  the  way  to  the  wide  deserted  hall,  where  he, 
having  first  struck  an  attitude,  proceeded  to  be 
seech  me  to  promise  eternal  secrecy  on  the  subject 
matter  he  was  about  to  reveal,  entreated  me  to  be 
generous  and  just  in  my  judgment,  but,  above  all 
to  be  generous.  "  No,  not  so,  to  be  just.  Nay, 
rather,  his  human  frailty  would  overcome  him, 
to  be  generous.  Do,  do  not,  I  implore,  be  severe. 
Read  them  !  Read  them  !  They  are  my  best ! 
Give  me  then  your  candid  (?  !)  opinion."  With 
which  he  clapped  into  my  paralyzed  hand  a  port 
folio  and  key  and  straightway  vanished. 

With  awe  I  inserted  the  key,  opened  and  laid 
bare  the  secrets  of  this  treasure  house.  Two 
manuscripts  lay  revealed.  First,  "  The  Else, 
Sway,  Decay,  Fall  of  the  Nations  of  Antiquity, 
with  Thoughts,  Moral  and  ^Esthetic,  thereon." 
Second,  "The  Republic  of  the  New  World. 
America  the  Hope  of  the  Universe.  Danger ! 
What  will  save  it !  To  arms  !  An  Appeal  to  the 
Brains  and  the  Hearts  of  the  Sons  of  Columbia." 
Over  one  hundred  pages  given  to  each  of  these 
effusions. 

With  humility  I  confess  I  was  not  equal  to  the 
emergency.  I  fled  for  the  first  train,  and,  decamp 
ing,  wrote  him  that  his  manuscripts  required  such 


90  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

serious  consideration  as  to  render  it  impossible 
for  me  to  do  them  justice  in  the  scant  space  of 
time  that  the  exigencies  of  travel  allowed.  If  he 
so  desired  I  would  give  my  valuable  (?)  opinion 
when  I  next  came  to  L — ,  mentally  writing  a  res 
ervation  that  if  L —  saw  me  again  while  the 
legislature  was  in  session  I  would  deserve  my 
fate. 

That  man  was  the  worthy  colleague  of  another 
member,  who  said  to  me,  "  I  can't  understand  it ! 
I  have  been  making  anti-capital-punishment 
speeches  in  a  great  many  towns  in  some  of  our 
sister  States,  and  of  course  in  my  own  State,  that 
have  as  much  meat  in  them,  /think,  as  any  thing 
Beecher  gets  off,  and  are  quite  as  thrilling  as 
John  B.  Gough's  temperance  spouts,  but  they 
dorit  draw  audiences  !" 

"  Probably  it  is  on  account  of  the  theme,"  I 
suggested. 

"  Well,  yes,"  he  assented,  "  that  is  about  the 
conclusion  /have  come  to.  That — and  the  fact 
that  I  haven' t  the  luck  to  be  a  woman.  They 
draw  well,  whatever  they  talk  about — out  of  curi 
osity." 

"  No  doubt,"  I  meekly  responded.  "  Perhaps 
if  you  would  have  a  brass  band  or  something  of 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER.  91 

tliat  sort  to  liven  up  things  you  would  draw 
better.  People,  y3u  know,  like  to  be  amused." 

"  I'll  take  your  proposition  under  advisement," 
he  gravely  answered,  "  though  Fm  not  clear  that 
people's  light-mindedness  ought  to  be  countenan 
ced  and  catered  to  even  for  worthy  ends,  by  such 
teachers  and  leaders  of  public  opinion  as  I.  Still 
the  matter  is  worthy  consideration,"  and  Tie  bowed 
himself  off,  and  I,  as  by  a  flash,  bethought  me  of 
somebody  I  had  seen  in  this  same  State  some 
years  before  of  whom  this  man  was  a  legitimate 
successor. 

A  huge  lumbering  old  fellow  who  tormented  me 
through  a  long  day' s  ride,  having  first  introduced 
himself  by  the  announcement  that  he  "  felt  quite 
as  if  he  were  a  relation,  as  he  came  from  Penn 
sylvania,  and  his  first  wife's  name — I've  got  my 
fourth  now — was  Nickerson." 

Which  self -presentation  being  accomplished  he 
mumbled  and  maundered  on,  at  intervals,  through 
the  next  half  dozen  hours,  some  of  his  talk  being 
distinguishable  and  some  not,  till  at  last  I  heard, 
"  I  was  in  the  Pennsylvania  legislature  more  than 
thirty  years  ago  with  Thaddeus  Stevens  " 

"  Ah  !"  I  said,  "  Thaddeus  Stevens  has  been  in 
public  life  a  long  time — a  great  many  years. ' ' 


92  A  RA&GED  REGISTER. 

"  Yes,"  answered  lie,  "  a  long  time.  True 
enough.  I  and  Thaddeus  Stevens  have  been  in 
public  life  a  long  time." 

After  which  silence  was  manifestly  in  order. 

Only,  as  after  all  these  years  I  tell  the  foolish 
story,  there  comes  before  me  a  picture  of  the  old, 
sad,  furrowed,  hollow-eyed,  granite  face  of  the 
"  leader  of  the  House,"  as  it  used  to  show  forth 
through  stormy  scenes  in  desperate  days  that 
tried  men's  souls,  and  I  hope,  with  all  my  heart, 
that  when  the  dark  waters  close  round  us  again 
there  may  be  found  such  another  head  and  hand 
at  the  helm. 

The  effect  upon  me  of  the  oak  that  had  served 
as  support  for  the  "  Nickerson"  vine,  had  been  to 
put  me  so  askew  as  to  make  me  more  than  grate 
ful  to  a  curiosity  who  came  into  my  way  just  as  I 
reached  my  destination,  for  the  opportunity  he 
gave  me  to  laugh. 

A  great  hulking  fellow,  cased  in  a  fur  overcoat 
and  fur  gloves,  blue  overalls  and  a  coon-skin  cap, 
the  tail  dangling  down  his  back,  marched  up  to 
me  in  the  waiting-room. 

"  Hey  !  I  say  !  By  the  name  of  Dickinson  ?" 
putting  out  his  mighty  paw. 

I  confess  it. 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  93 

"  Give  us  a  shake.  Proud  to  make  your  ac 
quaintance.  Heard  on  ye  for  a  powerful  long 
while.  Came  a  long  way  to  see  you.  Give  us 
another  shake." 

Shake  No.  2  gone  through  with. 

' '  What' s  your  name,  my  friend  f ' 

"  My  name  ?  Oh  my  name  ain't  no  account. 
You  wouldn't  know  it  anyway.  Where's  the 
use?  Ye  don't  know  me  nohow.  Nothing  to 
speak  of.  Teacher  by  trade." 

At  which  I  stood  open-mouthed  and  watched 
him,  coon-skin  cap,  and  all,  vanish  away,  over 
whelmed  by  such  professional  modesty. 

And  consoled  myself  divers  times  the  next  day 
in  the  midst  of  a  deal  of  discomfort  by  a  fresh 
laugh  at  the  thought  of  him. 

And  needed  it. 

The  day  was  one  of  the  "easy"  seasons,  of 
which  a  busy  L.L.'s  life  is  full. 

"  Such  a  delightful  time  to  be  sure  you  must 
have,  running  about  the  country  with  nothing 
to  do  buo  travel  and  be  amused,  and  talk  when 
evening  comes." 

Just  so  ! 

Left before  daylight,  breakfastless,  since 


94  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

I  have  not  the  stomach  of  an  ostrich.  At  noon 
changed  cars  at where  was  dinner. 

Found  a  room  with  lavender  colored  walls  pick 
ed  out  in  deep  maroon  lines,  green  shades  at  the 
windows  and  bright  blue  ones  over  the  doors, 
checked  red  and  gray  table-cloth  (low  be  it  spok 
en,  filthy),  napkins — none.  The  dishes — plenty  of 
them— pitched  on  to  the  table,  and  looking  as 
though  they  had  engaged  in  a  free  fight  after  they 
got  there.  Not  a  whole  piece  of  crockery  to  be 
discerned.  The  food,  hot  bread,  cold  bread,  steak, 
ham,  mutton  chops,  potatoes,  eggs,  milk,  toast, 
stewed  tomatoes,  stewed  peaches,  pickles,  cake, 
pie,  recklessly  massed  together.  All  of  them  that 
could  be  fried  in  fat  pork  fried  in  fat  pork,  and 
one  and  all  cold  and  disgusting  together. 

Luckily  I  did  not  see  the  kitchen  till  after  I 
had  eaten  my  bit  of  bread  and  drank  my  cup  of 
coifee.  Coffee  I  "  Waiter,  if  this  be  coffee  bring 
me  tea,  and  if  it' s  tea  let  me  have  coifee  !"  Other 
wise  I  should  certainly  have  fasted.  New  food 
and  old,  clean  things  and  dirty  things,  dogs,  cats, 
greasy  hands,  combs,  cooking  utensils,  dish  tow 
els  and  soiled  clothes  mingled  in  wild  confusion 
and  disorder  dire. 

If  the  half  were  told  of  divers  R.   R.  Eating 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  05 

Houses,  the  chronicler  would  do  well  to  absent 
himself  therefrom  for  the  future,  lest,  having 
escaped  the  perils  of  the  table,  a  more  violent 
though  less  suffering  death  should  befall  him. 

From  this  feast  to  the  poisonous  cars.  Rum 
ble,  jumble,  jolt,  jolt,  jolt.  Something  the  mat 
ter  with  the  engine.  Limp,  limp  to  the  Junction 
of  other  road.  Three  hours  late.  Train  gone. 
Hunted  up  the  superintendent  of  other  road.  Had 
a  small  palaver,  handed  over  $100  and  got  my 
"  special,"  but  had  to  wait  for  it. 

Waited  for  it  in  a  queer  place  at  the  depot  in 
which  the  railroad  employees  eat  and  lodge,  a 
huge  long  room  with  a  ceiling  of  rafters  so  low 
that  I  could  stretch  my  hand  to  it,  a  dingy  floor, 
dingy  walls,  opaque  windows,  men  sooty  and 
grimy  crowding  the  tables,  but  the  whole  thing- 
made  picturesque  and  even  home-like  by  an  enor 
mous  open  fire  of  soft  coa]  sending  long  flickering 
waves  of  light  through  the  gathering  shadows  of 
evening. 

I  was  almost  starved,  but  had  to  let  imagination 
feed  me.  There  was  great  abundance  of  food, 
but  the  "  fry,"  and  the  "  pork,"  and  the  rest  of 
it,  were  too  much  for  me. 

The  room  and  its  occupants,  though,  made  a  pic 


96  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

ture  to  remember,  as  I  turned  from  it,  clambered 
on  to  my  "  special,"  and  went  away. 

I  sat  in  solemn  state  on  the  engineer's  green 
leather  cushion,  feet  dangling,  furnace  fire  scorch 
ing  one  cheek,  fresh  evening  air  chilling  the  other, 
and  took  in  the  splendors  of  a  lurid  sunset  while 
meditating  upon  the  weakness  and  folly  of  poor 
human  nature  that  will  so  constantly  need  control. 

' '  Be  thy  own  master. ' ' 

Easily  said. 

Again  and  yet  again  have  I  lived  through  the 
same  experience  as  that  of  this  ride.  An  en 
gineer  without  arbitrary  orders  or  train  time  to 
obey,  a  good  start  followed  by  a  run  at  such  furi 
ous  speed  as  to  shake  the  miserable  traveller  to  a 
jelly.  A  '  *  hot  box, ' '  a  long  delay,  a  limping  ter 
mination. 

All's  well  that  end's  well.  We  ran  into at 

eight  o'clock,  and  the  engineer,  per  agreement, 
blew  blasts  that  would  have  roused  the  seven 
sleepers  to  let  the  audience  know  ye  speaker  had 
arrived. 

The  audience  was  worth  talking  to — a  com 
pensation  for  the  ills  of  the  day.  As  to  the  asso 
ciation — 

After  having  spent  fifteen  hours  of  travel  and 
one  hundred  and  fifteen  dollars  to  keep  my  en- 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  97 

gagement,  and  spoken  to  a  crowded  house,  the 
members  of  the  aforesaid  modestly  suggested  that 
I  take  half  my  fee. 

"For  why  r 

"  Oh,  we  thought  there  was  no  doubt  you 
would  be  delighted  to  contribute  to  the  excellent 
cause  for  which  this  course  is  given — a  new  organ 
for  the  First  Presbyterian  Church." 

Seeing  that  I  had  no  personal  interest  in  that 
special  denomination,  and  never  had  nor  never 
will  enjoy  or  suffer  by  means  of  the  desired  organ 
in  that  particular  church,  I  respectfully  declined 
impoverish! ag  myself  in  its  service,  and  have — 
sans  doubt — left  behind  me  the  name  of  a  greedy 
and  avaricious  woman. 

XIX. 

Some  time  I  would  like  to  free  my  mind  upon 
this  matter. 

There  is  not  a  reasonably  successful  speaker  in 
the  country  who  is  not  put  through  a  highway 
process  till  he  or  she  would  be  justified  in  grow 
ing  suspicious  at  the  very  sight  of  a  "  treasurer." 

* '  Two  hundred  dollars  a  night.  Three  hundred 
and  sixty -five  nights  in  the  year.  No  expense  of 

travel.     Feed  on  the  air.     Not  a  solitary  soul  in 

7 


98  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

the  whole  world  with  any  claims.  What  a  source 
to  draw  from  !" 

That,  I  fancy,  is  the  method  of  calculation. 

If  it  were  true,  what  then  ? 

The  "  course"  is  given  for  the  benefit  of  a  free 
reading  room,  a  library,  a  hospital ;  to  refurnish 
the  minister's  study,  to  carpet  the  church  aisles, 
to  get  new  cushions  for  the  pews,  to  put  a  spire 
on  this  church,  or  a  steeple  on  that.,  to  raise  funds 
for  a  public-school  piano  ;  for  a  local  charity,  for 
any  one  of  fifty  different  "  causes"  that  ought  to 
be  supported  at  home.  And  a  man  who  will  not 
give  ten  cents  to  what  is  to  benefit  himself  or  his, 
directly  or  indirectly,  will  demand  of  an  absolute 
stranger  ten,  twenty,  fifty,  an  hundred  dollars 
with  an  air  of  virtuous  command  that  would  seem 
to  indicate  a  clear  conscience  and  sense  of  duty 
well  done. 

Curious  how  many  of  Hood's  hat-bearers  you 
find.  "  Charity's  a  private  concern  "  (say  they), 
"  and  what  I  give  is  nothing  to  nobody." 

For  myself,  I  confess  to  a  preference  for  being 
my  own  almoner. 

Which  reminds  me  of  how  quick  people  are  to 
bring  the  charge  of  stinginess  against  "  profes 
sionals"  when  they  are  known  to  have  said  "no." 


A  E AGO ED  REGISTER.  99 

A  word  in  behalf  of  all.  My  experience  has 
doubtless  been  the  counterpart  of  others,  and  had 
I  the  revenue  of  a  million  with  heart  to  distribute 
it  all,  instead  of  being  a  hard-working  drudge,  I 
would  be  beggared  each  year  ere  the  year  is  half 
done. 

Here  is  a  letter — one  of  hundreds — asking  me  to 
take  the  mortgage  on  a  farm,  and  here  one  to  lift 
the  like  on  another.  Here  one  from  an  author  to 
publish  his  book,  since  "  the  trade  fights  shy  of 
it,"  and  here  one  to  free  a  milliner' s  stock  covered 
by  debt ;  here  one  to  pay  old  college  bills,  and 
here  one  to  furnish  the  wherewithal  to  keep  free 
of  new  ones,  and  here  is  one  from  a  young  woman, 
wife  of  an  invalid  husband,  who  has  gone  from 
friends  and  home  in  the  east  to  find  "  easy  pick 
ings"  at  the  west. 

(Will  people  never  learn  that  if  they  can't  live 
in  the  East,  they  will  die  a  thousand  deaths  in  the 
West.  The  West  is  for  neither  the  lame  nor  the 
lazy.  It  takes  twice  the  stuff  in  man  or  woman 
to  get  through  there  that  it  does  to  make  a  very 
decent  sort  of  success  over  smoother  and  quieter 
lines  "  at  home.") 

This  one  doesn't  know  any  thing  about  stock- 
raising  or  nurseries,  but  supposes  that  animals 


100  A  MAGGED  REGISTER. 

and  trees  grow  as  God  ordains,  and  always  to 
perfection.  She  thinks  if  I  "  would  buy  her  two 
thousand  trees  to  set  out,  and  three  thousand 
sheep,"  she  could  "manage  them  very  well,  and 
is  sure  she  could  make  a  good  income  from  them 
in  time.  Husband  is  sure  of  it  too."  Though 
as  they  are  twenty  miles  from  a  post  town,  and  a 
hundred  miles  from  the  railroad,  and  are  they 
two  and  no  more,  to  me  the  outlook  for  future 
gain  looks  dubious. 

I  tell  her  so,  and  try  to  suggest  a  plan  that 
seems  to  hold  some  real  help,  and  madame,  in  her 
next  letter,  "  forgives"  me. 

Truly  in  these  masses  of  letters  there  is  food 
for  thought,  texts  for  many  sermons,  matter  for 
scalding  tears.  For  God' s  sake,  why  don' t  fathers 
and  mothers  see  to  it  that  their  sons  and  daugh 
ters  are  alike  trained  to  methods  of  self-support  ! 

XX. 

I  think  my  ponderings  on  the  whole  matter,  as 
sociation,  letters,  and  all,  were  rendered  some 
what  more  severe  by  reason  of  being  made  the  next 
day,  while  undergoing  the  process  of  churning  on 
the  Illinois  Central  Road,  which  road  always 
raises  within  me  the  question  as  to  why  it  has  any 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  101 

rolling  stock  left  to  be  destroyed,  and  any  hu 
mans  to  be  ended.  Fortunately  it  was  carrying 
me  to  a  Chicago  audience,  with  Sunday  to  spare 
for  Robert  Collyer.  Compensation  in  that ! 

What  a  wholesome,  friendly,  inspiring  audi 
ence  it  is.  One  that  understands,  what  so  few 
people  ever  dream  of,  that  the  audience  has 
almost  as  much  to  do  with  the  entertainment  as 
has  the  entertainer. 

It  is  as  though  you  looked  at  one  person,  and 
that  person  looked  back  stonily,  indifferently, 
sleepily,  repellingly,  not  at  all,  or  with  asking 
eye,  eager  color,  answering  face.  When  the  audi 
ence  responds — not  necessarily  by  hand  or  voice, 
as  well  as  listens — everybody  has  a  good  time. 

For  me,  I  have  faced  a  crowd  ready  to  talk,  full 
of  enthusiasm,  well*  and  strong,  and  in  ten  min 
utes  have  grown  so  tired  I  could  scarce  stand  ;  and 
I  have  crawled  off  the  cars  after  a  twenty -hours' 
ride,  shaken  to  a  jelly,  banged  black  and  blue, 
asphyxiated  with  coal  gas  and  the  perfume  of 
burnt  iron  and  dirty  humanity,  and  been  spirited 
to  the  hall  without  rest,  food,  or  a  clean  face,  so 
tired  that  I  wanted  to  prop  against  some  con 
venient  table  or  wall,  and  have  felt,  long  before  I 
finished,  as  though  I  could  never  be  sick  nor 


102  A  MAGGED  REGISTER. 

weary,  nor  disgusted,  and  having  ended  wanted 
to  begin  and  do  it  all  over  again, 

Some  audiences  are  stone.  You  strike  against 
them  and  rebound — angered  by  their  hardness. 
Some  are  sponge — absorb,  and  absorb,  and  ab 
sorb,  and  give  notJiing  back,  till  you  feel  as 
though  you  had  enjoyed  six  hours  of  the  Turkish 
bath  and  then  been  put  under  an  exhausted  re 
ceiver  ;  and  some  are  like  champagne,  or  vigorous 
tea,  or  clear  cognac,  or  aggressive  coffee,  or  what 
ever  it  may  be  that  the  most  quickly  and  enchant- 
ingly  stimulates  your  brain  and  nerves. 

That  is  Chicago. 

And  yet  I  wonder  if  even  a  Chicago  or  New 
York  audience  could  fill  that  bill  if  it  were  put 
into  a  gloomy  room.  Darkness  deadens.  Light 
is  life. 

One  reason  why  so  many  preachers  prose  to 
dull  congregations,  and  why  so  many  actors  and 
singers  and  speakers  do  their  best  endeavor  and 
fail  is  because,  in  so  many  cases,  they  are  entombed 
in  dingy  caverns,  filled  with  the  air  of  a  tomb. 

I  bethink  me  of  a  certain  delightful  audience, 
well  bred  and  well  read,  that  I  used  to  see  gasp 
and  agonize — gasping  and  agonizing  with  them, 
in  whose  behalf  I  finally  ventured  a  protest. 


A  MAGGED  REGISTER.  103 

A  low  ceiling,  a  raging  furnace,  and  flaring  gas 
jets  devouring  what  little  oxygen  filtered  in 
through  crevice  or  opened  door — no  "  means  of 
ventilation"  save  the  windows  opening  at  the  back 
of  the  unfortunate  crowd  in  the  gallery. 

Beseeching  a  mouthful  of  fresh  air,  these  were 
opened,  the  rain  and  night  wind  driving  in  on  the 
heads  and  shoulders  of  a  hundred  or  so  of  un 
happy  victims,  who  shivered,  drew  closer  wraps 
and  cloaks,  sneezed  now  and  then,  and  coughed 
at  intervals. 

By  and  by  divers  hands  were  stretched  forth, 
and  the  windows,  with  pauses,  and  inch  by  inch, 
reached  the  closing  line. 

More  sizzling,  followed  by  a  fresh  protest,  end 
ing  in  a  duplicate  experience  ;  a  delicious  bit  of 
coolness,  speedily  vanishing  before  fear  of  its 
consequences.  Delicious  to  the  platform  and  the 
floor— direful  to  the  gallery.  Protests  manifold. 
The  sequence  of  the  speech  being  sadly  marred 
by  an  occasional  cry  of  "  hands  off,"  or  language 
to  that  effect  from  the  simmering  speaker,  who 
finally  lost  her  temper  and  proclaimed  "  this  is  a 
horrible  hall . ' ' 

"Horrible  Hall!"  cried  an  indignant  voice, 
while  a  red- faced  and  perspiring  man  rose  to  view. 


104  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

"  Horrible  Hall!  This  is  my  hall,  and  I  should 
like  to  know  what  you  mean  by  calling  it  such  a 
name." 

"  Because  the  name  defines  it,"  answered  the 
irate  speaker,  nowise  terrified,  since  she  was 
planted  "  on  the  vantage  ground  of  truth."  "  It 
is  a  death-trap.  Fresh  air  is  as  essential  to  life 
as  a  pair  of  lungs.  This  is  a  grave— without  ven 
tilators." 

"  No  ventilators  !  What  do  you  call  those  f ' 
pointing  his  cane  at  what  looked  like  an  unbroken 
expanse  of  smooth  ceiling,  and  wildly  waving  it 
toward  the  four  corners.  "  What  do  you  call 
those  r 

"  Those  ?"  queried  the  speaker.  "  I  call  that  a 
ceiling. 

"  In  the  ceiling,"  shouted  he. 

"  I  see  nothing  in  the  ceiling,"  answered  she. 

"  There,  and  there,"  he  repeated.  "  Can't  you 
see?" 

"  Where,  and  where  ?"  asked  she,  making  a  tel 
escope  of  her  left  hand.  "  No,  I  can't  see.  Per 
mit  me,"  stooping  to  one  of  the  smiling  ladies 
upon  the  front  bench,  and  taking  her  opera-glass. 

"  There,"  came  in  a  gasp  from  the  fiery  mouth 
of  the  now  purple  countenance,  "  and  there,  and 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  105 

there,  and  there!"  the  cane  once  more  cutting 
lively  angles  toward  the  four  corners,  in  which 
four  corners  could  be  dimly  descried  infinitesimal 
openings. 

"  Oh,"  said  the  enlightened  speaker,  peering 
through  the  borrowed  glass,  ' i  I  beg  your  pardon. 
Did  you  mean  those  gimlet  holes." 

"  Ga-ga-gim-let  holes  !"  stammered  the  angry 
tongue— it  isn't  soothing  to  rasped  sensibilities  to 
be  laughed  at  by  a  thousand  voices — "  ga-ga-gim- 
let  holes  ?  They  are  ventilators  /" 

"  Into  what  do  they  open  ?"  blandly  asked. 

"  Why— why,  into  a  loft," 

' '  And  what  may  be  above  the  loft  —by  chance  V ' 

"  A  double  action,  patent  waterproof,  air-tight 
roof,"  bawled  a  smart  boy  from  the  gallery,  where 
at  the  audience  roared,  the  defender  of  his  prop 
erty  collapsed,  or  was  dragged  down  by  some  ju 
dicious  friend,  and  the  evening  went  on  to  its 
melting  close. 

"  The  Lord  save  her  husband,  if  she  ever  has 
one,"  she  heard  remark  the  irate  and  as  yet  un 
bleached  proprietor,  as  she  was  edging  her  way 
on  the  "  secretary's"  arm  slowly  down  the  stair 
way. 

"  Amen,"  answered  she,  anxious  to  respond  to 


106  A  E  AGO  ED  REGISTER. 

friendly  wishes,  "  and  may  lie  be  mercifully  dis 
posed  toward  your  wife. 

But  the  next  year  I  found  the  roof  with  a  hole 
punched  in  it,  and  divers  ventilating  tubes  in 
serted  in  ceiling  and  walls  "  to  the  great  comfort 
of  everybody,"  said  the  proprietor,  who,  at  the 
close  of  the  evening,  came  to  shake  hands  and  to 
present  his  comely  wife. 

"  I  dare  presume,"  he  added,  "  that  you  ain't 
given  much  to  soft-sawder,  but  I  like  your  sense." 

Plenty  of  air  to  send  clear  blood  to  the  brain, 
plenty  of  light  to  stimulate — more  of  both,  good 
friends,  in  houses,  public  and  private,  would  be 
a  blessing  the  delights  of  which  and  the  gain  of 
which  are  past  computing. 

XXI. 

More  than  once  the  struggle  for  it  nas  given  me 
a  deal  of  fun.  Speeding  over  the  Michigan  Cen 
tral  one  of  the  beings  who  must  express  himself 
or  die,  having  watched  me  fume  over  my  window 
till  I  had  at  last  conquered  the  catch  and  secured 
a  mouthful  of  fresh  air,  abandoned  his  seat  on 
the  other  side  the  car,  crossed  and  planted  him 
self  in  front  of  me  and  the  partially  opened  sash. 

Presently  he  stirred,  shrugged  his  shoulders. 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  107 

turned  up  his  coat-collar,  and  remarked,  "It's 
chilly." 

As  the  announcement  was  apparently  made  to 
creation  generally,  I  felt  no  call  to  respond. 

Dissatisfied  at  the  silence  he  faced  round  and 
inquired, 

"  Would  you  like  to  have  me  shut  that  win 
dow?" 

"No,"  said  I,  "I  wouldn't." 

For  a  space,  silence. 

' '  Did  you  want  that  window  open  ?' ' 

"  I  did,"  responded  I,  "  and  I  do." 

"'Tain't  so  warm  over  here  as  it  is  by  the 
stove." 

A  pause. 

"I  said  'twan't  so  warm  here  as  over  to  the 
stove  where  I  was  a  sitting.  You'd  just  better 
let  me  shove  that  down,"  persuasively,  and 
stretching  out  a  brawny  hand. 

"No." 

"  But  I  tell  you  the  cold  comes  in  lively,'*  sur 
veying  the  crack,  half  filled  by  the  magazine 
stuffed  into  it,  leaving  open  a  mere  mousehole. 
"I'm  not  as  comfortable  here  as  I  was  over  by 
the  stove." 

"  Why  don't  you  go  back  then  ?"  I  charitably 


108  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

suggested.  "It  wasn't  necessary  for  you  to 
come  here,  to  begin  with." 

Another  pause.     A  fresh  charge. 

' '  I  say,  am' t  you  cold  ?' ' 

"No." 

"  Ain't  you  afraid  of  taking  cold  ?" 

"No." 

"  You  haven't  got  any  thing  the  matter  with 
your  lungs,  have  you  ?' ' 

"No." 

"  Throat  all  right  3" 

"  Yes." 

A  cessation  of  hostilities.     Truce  soon  broken. 

"  I  say  hadn't  you  better  let  me  put  down  that 
window  3" 

"  No." 

A  breathing  space,  a  vigorous  hitch  to  the  fur 
coat-collar,  a  longing  look  toward  the  fiery 
dragon  of  iron  and  coal. 

"  And  you  ain't  afraid  ?" 

"No!" 

"  H-h-h'm — you  call  yourself  strong-minded, 
now  don't  you  ?" 

' '  I  would  be  sorry  to  call  myself  weak-minded. ' ' 

"Speak.     Don't  you  ?" 

"  Yes." 


A  BAGGED  REGISTER.  109 

"Make  lectures?" 

"  Yes." 

"  Get  paid  pretty  well  ?" 

"Yes." 

"  Ever  talk  any  ?" 

"  Yes." 

"  You  don't  say  !  D'ye  mind  telling  a  fellow 
whether  you  ever  speak  mor'n  one  word  at  a 
time  ?" 

"That  depends  on  circumstances,"  judicially 
pronounced.  "  At  present  I  prefer  not  to  talk  at 
all." 

At  which  he  stared,  pondered,  looked  at  me,  at 
the  air-hole,  rubbed  his  side-whisker,  pondered 
again  for  enlightenment— got  it. 

"  Meaning  me  ?  Oh,  you  needn'  t  apologize.  I 
can  take  a  hint  as  well  as  another  fellow.  I  never 
put  in  where  I  ain't  wanted,  not  if  I  know  it. 
No.  .  .  .  Where  might  you  hang  out  your 
shingle  ? 

"  I  said  where  might  your  home  be  3" 

"Philadelphia." 

"  Philadelphia  ?    You  don't  see  much  of  it,  I 
reckon?" 
"No." 
"  Old  folks  living  ?» 


110  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

Silence. 

"  I  said  I  hoped  your  pa  was  lively  yet  ?"  insin 
uatingly. 

"No." 

' '  You  don' t  mean  to  say  lie' s  dead  f ' 

A  nod — in  despair. 

"  Sho  !  Well !  It's  natural.  People  do  die. 
Ma  to  home?" 

"Yes." 

"  Ever  travel  round  with  you  ?" 

"No." 

"Never?  And  she  ain't  afraid  to  have  you 
travel  round  alone  ?  No  ?  I  reckon,  then,  you're 
a  chip  of  the  old  block.  Got  snap  to  her,  has 
she?" 

I  am  too  busy  about  the  much  discussed  window 
to  make  reply. 

' '  I  asTced  whether  your  ma  was  like  you  f  Has 
she  got  go  to  her  ?' ' 

I  am  not  yet  done  with  the  window  and  my 
dumbness. 

"  Well,  we'll  let  the  old  lady  drop.  You  don't 
like  my  talking  about  her,  I  reckon — from  the 
color  of  your  face.  Got  a  temper,  haven't  you  ?" 

"  Yes." 

"  I  thought  so.     Get  it  from  your  pa  or  ma  ?" 


A   MAGGED   REGISTER.  HI 

"  Got  it  from  being  compelled  to  see  and  hear 
such  people  as  you,"  I  defined. 

More  rumination,  side  whisker  again  rubbed, 
situation  faced  boldly. 

"  Brothers  and  sisters  like  you?  Maybe  you 
haven't  any.  How  many  brothers  and  sisters 
might  you  have  3" 

'  <  I  might  have  fifty, ' '  growl  I,  ' '  but  I  haven' t. ' ' 

"No?— Lost  some?" 

A  relapse  again  into  a  silence  fast  verging  on 
imbecility. 

"  Don't  like  to  talk  about  your  family  mebbe. 
Some  people  don't.  1  don't  mind.  Leave  talk 
about  my  folks  as  not.  Got  any  objection  to  my 
asking  how  old  you  are  ?' ' 

"  None  in  the  world." 

A  new  and  prolonged  pause. 

"  You  haven't  told  me." 

"What?" 

"  How  old  you  are  ?" 

"  You  haven't  asked  me." 

More  meditation.  This  time  resulting  in  no  en 
lightenment. 

"  I  did,  but  I  don't  mind  asking  you  over  again. 
How  old  are  you  ?" 

4  *  Old  enough  to  mind  my  own  business,  and  to 


112  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

tell  other  people  to  mind  theirs.  You  really  will 
do  me  a  favor,  my  friend,  by  asking  me  no  more 
questions." 

The  Irrepressible  seemingly  settled  into  a  pro 
found  reverie,  and  I  thought  my  purgatory  was 
ended.  Yain  thought.  He  came  up  to  the  next 
round,  smiling. 

"  Lecturing' s  your  trade,  ain't  it  ?  You  make 
your  bread  and  butter  by  it,  don't  you  ?" 

My  tired  head  nodded  what  served  for  an  assent. 

"  Well  now,  all's  grist  that  comes  to  your  mill 
then?  One  fellow's  stamps  are's  good  as 
another's,  hey?" 

I  am  forced  to  admit  it. 

"Well  now,"  growing  emphatic  and  dragging 
out  some  greasy  looking  bills  and  currency,  "  look 
here.  You'  11  never  lecture  in  our  town.  It?  s  too 
derned  small.  But  Pd  like  to  hear  what  you 
can  do  when  your  steam's  up.  I  thought  I'd  get 
a  free  blow  out,  but  I  reckon  you  weren't  born 
yesterday  —  got  your  eye-teeth  cut.  There's  a 
dollar,  '11  that  pay  you  for  a  good  square  talk  and 
allthefixens?" 

I  make  it  manifest  to  him  that  it  won't,  and 
hold  my  peace  once  more. 

"What!  not    for  a  dollar?      Well.   then,   it's 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  113 

pretty  steep,  but  I  don't  mind  just  for  once  going 
two  dollars." 

Not  even  for  two  dollars  can  I  be  wound  up 
and  made  to  go,  and  his  forbearance  is  exhausted. 

"  You  don't  mind  my  telling  you  that  I  think 
you're  pretty  considerably  much  on  the  make  ?  I 
never  did  see  your  beat.  You  won't  be  sociable, 
and  you  won't  make  a  square  trade  !  You're  not 
the  woman  for  my  stamps,"  putting  back  his  un 
washed  currency.  "  I  wouldn't  talk  to  you  if — 
well,  I'd  as  lief  talk  to  a  stone  wall.  Perhaps 
you'd  like  your  own  company  ?" 

And  as  I  did  not  contradict  him,  he  gathered 
himself  up,  overcoat  and  all,  and  replanted  him 
self  for  a  slow  roast  by  the  fiery  dragon  of  a  stove. 

But,  evidently,  bore  me  no  malice,  for,  getting 
out  at  a  lumber  town,  in  the  woods,  he  paused 
and  said,  "  If  you  ever  SHOULD  speak  anywhere 
round,  I'll  come  to  hear  you." 

XXII. 

He  being  gone,  before  I  could  relapse  into  my 
usual  condition  of  stony  silence,  enter  another 
specimen. 

This  one  came  in  from  the  smoking  car,  and 
peering  about  with  a  pair  of  small  sharp  eyes  set 


114  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

too  close  together  to  commend  their  owner,  pres 
ently  spied  me,  and  posting  to  the  seat  vacated  by 
my  lumber  friend,  proceeded,  not  to  draw  from 
but  to  bestow  upon  me. 

"  I  heard  you  last  night,  Annie,"  he  remarked, 

by  way  of  an  easy  and  friendly  opening,  "  at . 

I  don't  live  there.  I  happened  in.  Yes,"  he  re 
peated,  "  I  happened  into  the  lecture,"  as  though 
he  were  fearful  I  would  be  too  inflated  at  his  vol 
untarily  seeking  the  show,  and  must  tell  me  how 
it  fell  by  chance. 

I  appreciated  his  consideration  and  awaited  fur 
ther  developments. 

"  Yes,"  he  reiterated,  to  make  sure  I  fully  un 
derstood  him,  "  I  went  to  hear  you,  and  I  must 
say,  on  the  whole,  I  was  agreeably  disappointed. 
I  didn't  believe  a  woman  could  speak  so  well." 

After  a  pause  to  give  due  weight  to  the  an 
nouncement  : 

"  I'm  a  doctor." 

In  spite  of  the  weighty  information,  I  was  still 
able  to  maintain  an  upright  position  and  gaze  at 
him  unfalteringly. 

A  half-dozen  men  who  had  changed  their  seats 
so  as  to  be  at  close  quarters,  were  sitting  about 
very  still,  with  a  ' '  weather  eye' '  fixed  on  us,  and 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  115 

one  ear  set  at  an  alert  angle  to  catch  whatever 
might  be  said,  as  is  the  fashion  of  your  true  West 
ern  American  when  any  thing  is  ' '  going  on, ' '  ready 
to  listen  or  to  strike  in,  if  occasion  offers,  on 
either  side,  impartially. 

"  No,"  he  went  on,  raising  his  voice  and  look 
ing  toward  the  conference  meeting,  "I  liked  to 
hear  you  well  enough.  You're  smart.  There's 
no  denying  that,  but  I  don't  like  your  sentiments. 
I  think  too  highly  of  the  sex — I'm  a  lady's  man 
myself— -to  have  them  turned  out  to  shoe  horses, 
and  build  roads,  and  be  blacksmiths  and  teamsters, 
the  way  you  want 'em  to  be.  I  suppose  you'd 
like  'em  to  wear  trowsers,  and  chew,"  rolling  his 
quid,  and  spitting  an  emphasis,  "  and  drink,  and 
swear,  and  go  the  whole  figure  generally, 
wouldn't  you  3" 

"  Oh  no,  my  friend,"  answered  I,  being  thus  ap 
pealed  to.  "  I'd  like  you,"  surveying  his  little 
head  and  his  big  body,  "  and  such  men  as  you,  to 
turn  out  and  shoe  the  horses,  and  mend  the  roads, 
and  be  blacksmiths  and  teamsters,  and  leave  vacant 
the  places  you  are  not  filling,  as  doctors,  or  minis 
ters,  or  lawyers,  for  the  same  number  of  intelligent, 
needy,  wideawake  young  women,  and  you  could 
cling,  unmolested,  to  your  congenial  pastimes  of 


116  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

chewing,  and  drinking,  and  swearing,  to  the  end 
of  your  respective  chapters." 

He  didn't  like  the  suggestion.  In  fact,  I  have 
often  noticed  that  opinions  in  regard  to  the  utility 
of  the  rod  depend  upon  the  end  that  falls  to  one's 
share.  As  Washington  Irving  says,  "  I  never 
could  be  brought  to  my  father's  mind  upon  that 
matter." 

The  conference  meeting  smiled  audibly,  which 
didn't  please  my  professional  friend,  who  em 
phatically  remarked, 

' '  I  like,  well  enough,  to  hear  a  strong-minded  wo 
man  talk,  but  I'd  be  mighty  sorry  to  marry  one." 

"  Set  your  mind  at  ease  upon  that  matter,  sir. 
You  have  no  need  for  anxiety.  Be  sure  that  none 
but  a  weak-minded  woman  will  ever  say  yes  to 
you" 

"  Hit  him  again,"  mumbled  a  member  of  the 
conference  meeting,  whose  sympathies  had  been 
plainly  manifested  at  the  outset,  on  the  "  other 
side."  It  is  one  of  the  sure  characteristics  of 
your  true  Western  American  that  above  all  things 
he  enjoys  watching  a  fight,  and  seeing  somebody 
"cracked." 

"Oh,"  growled  M.  D.,  "you'd  like  to  have 
your  wife  support  you,  would  you  ?" 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER.  117 

"  Certin,"  answered  the  long-legged  fellow  as 
sailed,  firing  Ms  salute  of  tobaco  jnice.  "  Cer 
tin,  ' '  he  answered,  meditatively,  ' i  if  I  was  such  a 
derned  mean  cuss  as  not  to  be  able  to  take  care  of 
myself." 

At  which  the  conference  meeting  smiled  again, 
and  my  professional  friend  retired  to  his  silence 
and  left  me  to  mine. 

"  Never  you  mind,"  said  long  legs,  consolingly 
and  admiringly,  and  firing  a  fresh  salute  in  honor 
of  the  sentiment,  "  you'll  get  as  many  husbands 
as  you  want,  that's  dead  sure  ;"  and  so  retired  to 
Ms  silence,  leaving  me  to  a  wondering  meditation 
on  human  nature  till  I  reached  Ann  Arbor  and 
content. 

Every  professional  who  has  faced  the  Ann 
Arbor  boys  must  wish  them  well.  College  stu 
dents  are  not  always  desirable  acquisitions  to 
community,  nor  agreeable  companions,  nor  hear 
ers,  but  there  is  something  in  the  presence  of 
these  youngsters  as  good  as  a  cordial. 

They  are  jolly,  but  they  are  gentlemen,  full  of 
pranks,  but  also  full  of  good  sense  and  kindli 
ness. 

The  university  boasts  divers  feminine  students 
and  the  young  fellows  exhaust  politeness  on 


118  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

them.  "  Hats  off,'-  they  bawl,  when  the  girls 
appear,  and  ' l  hats  off  "  it  is  in  every  sense. 

Also  the  men  of  the  medical  department  are 
covering  themselves  with  honor  by  the  way  they 
have  received  the  women  who  have  knocked  at 
their  doors — a  marked  contrast  to  the  M.  D.'s 
elsewhere,  full  fledged  and  hatching. 

One  of  these  from  a  neighboring  town  vouch 
safed  me  some  enlightenment  which  I  transfer, 
for  the  benefit  of  whom  it  may  concern. 

"It  is  simply  shocking, ' '  he  remarked,  ' '  to 
thrust  a  woman,  or  to  have  her  force  herself  into 
the  gloom,  the  danger,  and  the  responsibility  of 
a  sick  room. ' ' 

' '  As  a  nurse  she  now  endures  far  more  of  the 
gloom,  is  exposed  to  greater  and  more  protracted 
danger,  certainly  shares  the  responsibility,  and 
often  more  than  halves  the  help,  while  she  gains 
next  to  none  of  the  profit,  and  none  at  all  of  the 
honor  of  the  doctor,"  objected  I. 

' i  That  is  a  different  matter, ' '  responded  he,  sen- 
tentiously.  "  Beside,  the  nurse  is  not  exposed  to 
the  necessity  of  delicate  consultations  with  coarse 
and  vulgar  men." 

"  But  the  woman  lying  ill  and  helpless  is  sub 
jected  to  the  investigation  of  a  man  whom  you 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  119 

assert  may,  however  skilful,  be  both,  coarse  and 
vulgar,  and  assuredly  the  nurse  has  to  receive  her 
instructions,  often  the  most  minute,  from  these 
same  questionable  lips.  Where  is  the  difference  V ' 
queried  I. 

"  There  is  a  difference,"  conclusively.  "  And 
however  well  fitted  a  woman  may  be  to  practice 
medicine,  I  think  the  sober  sense  of  community 
will  always  decide  it  to  be  inexpedient  for  her  to 
do  so." 

"Inexpedient?"  echoed  I;  "but  quite  right 
and  proper  for  her  to  go  on  in  the  obscurity  and 
hard  work  of  a  nurse's  career.  I  have  noticed, 
curiously  enough,  that  some  men  are  only  struck 
by  the  inexpediency  of  work  for  women,  when  it 
may  lead  to  profit  and  honor,  and  of  the  unsuit- 
ability  of  such  and  such  work  for  themselves, 
when  there  is  nothing  much  worth  having  to 
be  got  by  it." 

"  Madame,"  cried  my  incensed  friend,  "  take 
care  what  you  say.  Do  you  mean  to  accuse  me 
of  selfishness  and  narrow-mindedness  ?" 

"Well,"  said  I,  "as  Joe  Gargery  puts  it,  I 
wouldn't  go  so  far  as  to  say  that,  for  that's  a  deal 
to  say — but  it  looks  like  it." 


120  A   MAGGED  REGISTER. 

XXIII. 

Fortunately  at  this  ticklish  moment,  that  bit  of 
condensed  sunshine,  Professor  Moses  Coit  Tyler, 
came  into  the  ante-room,  and  shed  such  a  light 
from  his  bright  face  and  eyes  as  to  clear  all  shad 
ows  of  controversy. 

To  liim  I  confided  the  opinion  that  the  very  best 
thing  for  some  thousands  of  women,  who  are  in 
need  of  work,  discontented  with  the  prospect  the 
old  paths  present  them,  and  eager  to  enter  the 
overcrowded  avenue  of  medicine,  would  be  to  train 
themselves  thoroughly  to  fill  a  great  open  space 
that  is  nearly  empty,  and  ought  to  be  full — the 
space  allotted  to  nurses. 

A  plenty  of  people  die,  or  survive  a  long  or 
acute  illness  but  half  alive,  for  want  of  efficient 
nursing. 

Nursing  doesn'  t  come  by  nature,  though  there 
is  a  popular  superstition  to  the  effect  that  "  all 
women  are  born  nurses."  'Tis  a  gift  and  a  fine 
art  combined. 

Death  No.  2  often  follows  Death  No.  1  because 
the  overtasked  hands  of  affection  can  find  doctors 
a  plenty,  cooks  a  plenty,  friendly  offers  a  plenty, 
but  cannot  find  real,  restful  help  in  the  sick  room. 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  121 

Nursing  ought  to  be  lifted  to  the  dignity  of  a 
regular  profession,  with  its  schools  and  its  stu 
dents  and  its  degrees.  And  the  schools  need 
crowding. 

Preeminently  in  this  land  of  bad  cooking  and 
dyspepsia. 

Or,  better,  let  us  have  schools  for  cookery  over 
against  the  schools  for  medicine  and  perhaps  the 
former  would  increase  on  the  decrease  of  the 
latter. 

Certainly  whoso  will  establish  culinary  colleges 
in  this  land  of  market  wealth  and  kitchen  pov 
erty,  will  deserve  the  benedictions  of  his  kind. 

If  some  of  the  women  who  at  death  bestow  of 
their  store  on  theological  seminaries  and  schools 
that  are  for  the  exclusive  benefit  of  men  (that 
woman,  for  instance,  who  left  $300,000  for  the 
establishment  of  a  chair  of  science  in  an  institu 
tion  already  richly  endowed,  the  doors  of  which 
are  slammed  in  the  face  of  any  petticoated  ap 
plicant) — if  some  such  women  would  establish 
schools  wherein  should  be  taught  every  house 
hold  and  domestic  art,  they  would  deserve  canon 
ization  at  the  hands  of  a  long- suffering  and  pro 
fessedly  civilized  though  really  unenlightened 
world. 


122  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

XXIV. 

Here  is  the  suggestion  of  a  theme  for  some  of 
the  "  conservative"  sisters  who  persist  in  the  in 
consistent  proceeding  of  speech-making. 

Once  upon  a  time  I  did  listen  to  such  an  one, 
and,  the  speaker  being  done,  felt  like  passing 
upon  her  the  old  lady's  verdict  upon  her  new 
pastors  sermon — that  "it  was  neither  edify  in' 
nor  divert  in'." 

I  confess  to  a  lack  of  patience  with  that  sort  of 
woman. 

A  woman  who  really  believes  that  her  place  is 
at  home— and  stays  there — is  to  be  respected. 
But  a  woman  who  makes  speeches  to  prove  that 
a  woman  has  no  right  to  speak,  who  rushes  on 
to  platforms  to  denounce  the  appearance  of 
women  on  the  platform,  who  harangues  audiences 
to  demonstrate  that  the  only  proper  sphere  for 
woman  is  the  fireside,  and  the  only  suitable  work 
domestic  cares,  is  beneath  both  argument  and  con 
tempt. 

There  is  neither  consistency,  nor  reason,  nor 
conscience  in  such  a  course. 

"  Well,  I  must  say,"  ejaculated  a  well-dressed 
man  in  front  of  me,  to  a  well-dressed  woman  at 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER.  123 

his  side,  "  that  I  like  what  she  has  to  say.  I'm 
sick  of  the  talk  of  these  strong-minded  thinkers 
about  'working  girls,'  and  'new  avenues  of 
labor,'  and  'better  pay.'  For  my  part  I  quite 
agree  with  her  that  women  are  best  off  at  home. 
I  am  sure  that  is  more  sensible  than  earning 
their  own  living." 

' '  And  so  am  I, ' '  responded  she  of  the  velvet 
and  point. 

"  Starve  !"  cried  the  Princess  Royal,  while  the 
hungry  mob  of  Paris  was  howling  at  the  palace 
gates.  "  Starve  !  Why  I  would  eat  bread  first." 

Exactly. 

But  then  the  bread,  good  friends,  and  how  to 
make  it  ? 

"  That's  a  fine  thing  Mrs.  H.  is  doing  with  her 
husband's  business,"  I  heard  one  man  say  to 
another  as  I  was  tramping  up  and  down  a  depot 
platform  waiting  for  a  delayed  train.  "  She's 
making  matters  about  as  comfortable  round  her 
as  she  had  'em  while  H.  was  living.  Queer,  too, 
for  of  course  she  didn't  know  any  thing  about 
trade  ;  but  women,  some  of  'em  at  least,  do  have 
a  sort  of  knack  at  emergencies." 

"That's  so,"  responded  masculine  No.  2. 
"  I've  often  noticed  it.  They  do  things,  and  for 


124  A  RAGGED  REGISTER 

the  life  of  them  they  can't  tell  you  how.  It's 
what  people  call  intuition,  I  suppose." 

And  that  matter  was  settled. 

As  the  world  in  general  settles  the  question  of 
how  women  can  be  by  nature  wholly  unfit  for  in 
dependence  and  responsibility,  and  yet  here  and 
there,  through  nature  alone,  shoulder  them 
strongly  and  successfully. 

"  I  have  an  hour  to  spare  before  this  belated 
train  appears,"  said  I  to  myself,  "  and  I  will  im 
prove  it  by  hunting  up  this  Mrs.  H.  and  hearing 
her  version  of  labor  and  triumph." 

I  found  her,  and  she  told  me  of  her  struggles 
and  her  achievements.  Of  how  she  had  been  for 
years  her  husband's  "  silent  partner,"  and  knew 
as  much  of  the  business  and  the  books  as  did  the 
active  head  of  the  firm,  and  of  what  crowded  days 
and  taxed  head  and  hands  were  the  basis  of  the 
"  handsome  living"  of  herself  and  her  children, 
and,  in  parenthesis,  of  what  happiness  and 
content  sat  down  in  her  life  because  of  its  ful 
ness. 

"  Inspiration  ;"  "Intuition;"  "  She  did  it, 
she  didn't  know  how"  — soothing  balm  for  the 
hurt  vanity  of  some  men  and  women,  delusion 
and  snare  to  many  a  young  girl  who  wishes  to 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  125 

accomplish  great  results,  without  the  fatigue  or 
pain  of  protracted  effort. 

Investigate  the  lives  of  these  successful  women, 
scrutinize  their  histories,  and  you  will  find  that 
chart  and  compass  were  thoroughly  studied  be 
fore  they  ventured  against  wind  and  tide  to  navi 
gate  great  waters.  That  often  through  prodigies 
of  effort  they  secured  the  same  discipline  and 
training  freely  accorded  men  ;  the  same  rooting 
and  grounding  in  A  B  C  ere  they  attempted  to 
read  in  a  hurly-burly  of  noise,  where  not  alone 
loudness,  but  clearness  is  needed  to  command 
attention.  They  learned  their  work  before  they 
did  it. 

It  is  a  pleasing  theory  cherished  by  silliness 
and  selfishness,  vanity  and  ignorance,  folly  and 
prejudice,  that  these  women  came  up,  as  they 
have  decided  all  women  are  to  come  up — like 
daisies. 

But  human  beings  are  not  daisies,  do  not  grow 
like  them,  nor  are  they  like  them  when  grown. 
A  woman  does  not  stretch  from  the  dirt  and  dark 
of  ignorance  into  the  full  bloom  and  splendor  of 
knowledge  and  power,  simply  by  letting  her 
alone,  with  a  bit  of  sunshine  and  air,  often  with 
out  even  these. 


126  A  MAGGED  REGISTER. 

XXV. 

And  first  of  all  she  herself  must  know,  not  only 
that  she  wishes  to  grow,  but  after  what  fashion 
of  growth. 

So  many  girls  come  to  me  with  the  same  query, 
What  can  they  do  ?  Dissatisfied,  insufficiently 
employed  at  home,  with  no  need  of  such  employ 
ment,  and  with  hearty  dislike  of  it,  but  with  no 
clear  conception  of  what  they  can  do,  or  even 
have  the  desire  to  do.  With  no  comprehension  of 
what  it  is  to  sit  down  with  themselves  alone,  and 
make  the  acquaintance  of  their  own  capacities  as 
well  as  their  own  needs. 

An  overwhelming  desire  to  do  and  a  distinct 
tendency  toward  doing,  are  nearly  always  "a 
leading,"  and  an  opening  as  well. 

"  I  want  to  do  something,  I  don't  know  what." 

Nothing  will  come  of  it. 

"  I  know  what  I  want  to  do,  and  have  a  will  to 
do  it." 

Something  worth  while  comes  of  it. 

"  Fortune  is  the  measure  of  intelligence," 
Rachel  was  fond  of  saying.  Had  she  added  earn 
estness  and  will,  the  definition  would  have  been 
complete. 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER.  127 

"  Meanwhile,"  did  I  hear  you  say— '•  mean 
while  what  of  homes  ?  You  want  to  stir  in  the 
minds  of  all  our  girls  discontent  with  domestic 
ity." 

So? 

As  Mr.  Lincoln  would  say,  that  reminds  me  of 
a  little  story. 

One  evening  I  was,  naturally  enough,  pleased  by 
the  absorbed  intensity  of  gaze  with  which  through 
the  evening  I  was  watched  by  a  pair  of  lovely 
brown  eyes  set  in  the  fair  young  face  of  a  girl  di 
rectly  in  front  of  me. 

I  always  have  had,  and  always  will  have,  a 
weakness  for  young  girls.  They  are  charming. 
I  delight  in  them  as  I  would  in  a  lovely  picture 
full  of  delicious  tints,  or  a  rose  or  amber-hued 
cloud  in  a  summer  sky.  This  one  looked  like  a 
pansy,  and  as  I  watched  her  I  hoped  she  was  as 
happy  and  sheltered  as  one. 

"  Might  I  speak  to  you,  dear  Miss  Dickinson, 
just  a  moment?"  said  a  soft  little  voice,  at  the 
ante-room  door,  the  evening's  work  being  done. 

"  Surely,  my  child,"  answered  I,  stroking  her 
pretty  brown  hair. 

"  I  would  like  some  advice,  if  you  please,  and 
it  isn't  too  much  trouble." 


128  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

"  Speak  yonr  whole  mind,  my  infant,"  I  replied. 

"  Well,  then,"  smiling  and  blushing  and  stam 
mering  all  together,  "  I  am  engaged — to  be  mar 
ried — oh  !  I  am  not  so  young,"  in  answer  to  a 
look — "  almost  nineteen,  and  I  love — Mm — dear 
ly  ;  and  we  were  to  be  married  soon — in  the  spring 
-but—" 

"But  what,  my  dear?" 

"  You  see— I  don't  know—  There  !  if  I  stumble 
so  you  will  think  me  a  fool.  I  have  been  reading 
the  Woman' s  Journal,  and  I  went  to  hear  Mrs. 
Livermore,  when  she  was  here  last  month — sucJi  a 
good  lecture  !  and  I  have  been  wondering  whether 
I  ought  not  to  give  up  the  idea  of  marrying,  and 
do  something  for  women,  and  I'm  not  sure  I  could 
do  any  thing  but  talk,  and  I'm  afraid  I  wouldn't 
make  a  very  good  lecturer,"  with  a  little  laugh  ; 
"  and  yet  I  sJiould  like  to  help  the  poor  women 
who  are  not  so  well  off  as  I — and  I've  grown 
troubled  and  snarled  up  over  it,  and,  as  I  watchd 
you  to-night,  I  thought  I  would  come  and  ask 
you.  What  would  you  advise  ?" 

' '  In  the  whole  world,  my  girl,  what  would  you 
rather  do?" 

"  Oh,  I'd  rather  get  married  !— there,  that  does 
sound  so  selfish — but  you  see — 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER.  129 

"  Yes,"  I  assented,  "  I  see.  And  you  want  my 
advice  ?  Yes  ?  Then,  get  married,  by  all  means. ' ' 

"  And  not  try  to  lecture  ?7' 

"  Well,  no,  I  think  not.'1 

"  But  I  would  like  to  do  something  for 
women,"  she  whispered,  with  tears  in  her  tender 
brown  eyes. 

"  So  you  can,  my  dear  little  heart,"  answered 
I,  "by  growing  to  the  largest,  noblest  woman 
hood  of  which  you  are  capable.  That  will  help 
all  women — and  all  men — who  come  near  you,  and 
help  the  cause  you  want  to  serve  by  showing 
what  a  woman  can  be  in  the  world.  If  you  want 
a  "  mission,"  I  find  there  are  plenty  of  house 
keepers,  but  very  few  home-makers.  There  is 
something  to  do  and  an  example  to  set." 

"  Oh,  I  see,  I  see,"  cried  the  sweet  voice,  "I 
can  be  happy  and  helpful  too.  Oh!  I'm  so 
glad  !" 

"So  am  I,  and  thank  you,  Miss  Dickinson," 
said  a  hearty  voice,  and  a  brown  hand  was  thrust 
into  the  doorway,  followed  by  a  fine  manly  young 
fellow,  blessed  by  the  clearest  of  blue  eyes,  light 
ing  a  frank  sun-burned  face.  "You're  a  brick. 
Please  to  shake  hands.  I'll  give  my  vote  for  you 
when  you  run  for  President,  and  no  mistake." 
9 


130  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

At  which,  we  all  laughed,  the  sober  dominie 
who  had  "  introduced  me,"  and  who  had  just  re 
appeared  on  the  field  of  action,  included,  and 
everybody  went  away  satisfied,  and  I  hope  my  ad 
vice  was  the  ' i  correct  thing, ' '  and  will  be  account 
ed  unto  me  for  righteousness. 

XXVI. 

Certainly,  thought  I,  as  I  took  my  mail  from 
the  hands  of  the  good  dominie  in  whose  care  it 
had  been  sent,  whatever  other  afflictions  may  be 
fall  her,  at  least  she  has  escaped  this. 

She  will  not  have  her  good  nature  tried  by  the 
reading  of  such  an  effusion  as  : 

" MADAME  : 

u  Last  night  I  read  your  biography,  and, 
though  a  perfect  stranger,  it  compels  me  to  write 
to  you. 

"  I  cannot  give  you  a  plausible  reason  for  thus 
intruding  on  you,  yet  I  cannot  rest  satisfied  with 
out  addressing  you.  I  do  not  wish  to  be  compli 
mentary  or  become  a  critic,  but  I  should  like  to 
know  if  you  are  conscious  of  deserving  the  lauda 
tion  which  has  followed  you.  Men  and  women 
have  been  great  before  the  world  that  were  hum 
ble  in  private.  This,  I  fear,  you  are  not. 

"  Those  speeches  of  yours  seem  to  me  mercenary 
and  unbecoming  a  woman.  Glory,  glory  is  beau- 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  131 

tiiul,  but  happiness  and   contentment   are  gifts 
from  heaven. 

"  I  shall  not  apologize  for  writing  you  thus. 
In  your  position  you  need  discipline.  Take  this 
from  one  who  hopes  it  will  serve  that  good  pur 
pose. 

"  I  am, 

"  Dear  madam e, 

"  Yours  most  respectfully, 


And  if  her  good  nature  bears  the  strain  of  such 
i  i  discipline' '  as  this,  she  will  not  be  subjected  to 
the  pistol-to-head  process  after  this  wise  : 

"  BEAR  Miss  DICKINSON  : 

"  No  doubt  you  will  be  surprised  at  receiving 
this  letter  from  an  entire  stranger.  I  do  not  know 
you,  and  yet  I  write  without  any  hesitation,  since 
you  profess  always  to  be  such  a  friend  to  woman 
I  am  sure  you  will  be  glad  to  help  me. 

"  I  set  up  a  millinery  at  -  •— ,  but  didn't  do  well 
and  sold  out  and  came  here.  I  was  told  it  was  a 
good  business  town,  but  somehow  /  haven' t  pros 
pered  here.  I  am  in  debt  and  I  need  new  stock, 
and  I  think  if  I  could  move  into  a  larger  store  it 
would  be  better  for  my  business,  and  if  I  could 
go  to  New  York  myself  to  buy  stock  and  look 
around  at  the  theatres,  etc. ,  for  a  week  or  two,  I 
should  like  it,  and  it  would  do  me  good. 

I  need  $2000,  but  I  suppose  you  have  a  great 
many  people  asking  you  to  help  them,  and  I  can 
get  along  and  pay  my  debts  and  take  a  holiday 


132  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

and  get  a  start  again  with  $1800,  and  I  should 
like  to  have  it,  on  account  of  the  spring  trade,  not 
later  than  next  week.  I  am  sure  you  will  be  glad 
to  know  what  to  do  with  some  of  your  money  so 
as  to  be  sure  it  wall  be  doing  good. 
"  Truly  yours, 

it  55 

P.S. — I  do  not  like  checks.  Please  to  be  sure 
to  send  a  draft  on  New  York. 

2d  P.S. — Of  course  you  understand  I  want  you 
to  give  this,  and  no£  to  lend  it. 

Though  to  be  sure  if  she  said  "  yes"  to  many 
such  requests  as  the   following,  she  could    say 
' '  no' '  to  the  ' '  drafts' '   with  a  clear  conscience 
and  an  empty  pocket : 

"  MRS.  ANNA  DICKINSON  : 

"  Dear  Miss  : — Wishing  to  inquiere  of  you  I 
write,  to  tell  you  my  Story,  that  we  have  built 
an  A.  M.  E.  church  in  Z — ,  and  are  some  in  debt 
yet,  and  I  wish  to  get  your  concent  to  come  to 
speek  for  us  one  or  too  evenings  as  a  Donation, 
except  your  expenses. 

"  Please  give  us  a  call.     Write  soon. 
"  Yours  truly, 


Though,  to  be  sure,  even  these  would  not  terrify 
her,  if  she  wrere  possessed  of  the  same  spirit  as 
the  sister  upon  whose  epistle  I  fell  last  of  all,  for 
tunately,  for  a  night' s  sleep  was  a  good  thing  to 
take  after  Us  perusal. 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  133 

Tims  it  ran  : 

"Miss 

"  Dear  friend  I  wish  A  little  advise  of  you  I 
have  got  a  common  education  but  I  am  A  good 
reader  in  1840  I  married  A  farmer  and  have  four 
children  boys  I  thought  if  I  could  Lecture  and 
could  make  any  thing  I  would  like  it  better  than 
this  I  get  so  tired  of  cooking  and  waiting  on  boys 
all  the  time  they  are  so  noisy  that  I  do  not  enjoy 
myself  with  them  I  never  have  lectured  but  have 
been  invited  too  ever  since  I  was  a  child  I  would 
like  to  try  but  I  thought  it  would  be  better  to  go 
away  to  commence  and  I  thought  it  would  be  bet 
ter  to  go  with  somebody,  and  I  think  it  looks  bet 
ter  for  women  to  go  together  and  as  I  never  got 
up  before.  A  crowd  it  would  be  better  to  have 
some  lectures  written  if  you  could  write  some  for 
me  and  send  them  I  could  learn  them  and  then  I 
could  go  with  you  awhile  and  if  I  could  do  well  I 
would  like  to  go  West  for  I  have  A  great  many 
relations  there  T  believe  we  could  get  large  crowds 
and  I  believe  it  would  pay  handsomely  please  an 
swer  this  and  let  me  know  how  much  it  will  cost 
me  to  get  started  in  and  what  you  will  charge  me 
for  to  give  me  a  start. 

"  Yours  truly, 


That  mail  was  mild  to  one  that  befell  me  at 

,  where  my  mind,  morals,  person,  and  estate, 

came  under  the  inspection  and  condemnation  I 
should  think  of  the  whole  town.     If  not,  then  at 


134  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

least  that  town  can  boast  of  divers  persons  of 
varying  tastes  who  are  nevertheless  possessed  of 
one  taste  in  common  :  that  of  speech,  explicit  and 
corrective.  For  the  morning  after  my  lecture, 
these  notes  straggled  into  my  room  : 

"  Miss  DICKINSON  :  While  listening  to  your  lec 
ture  in  this  place  last  evening  I  conceived  the 
idea  of  dropping  you  a  note  requesting  corres 
pondence.  I  am  aware  that  I  am  violating  the 
laws  of  custom  and  perhaps  transcending  the 
rules  of  propriety,  but  trust  you  will  pardon  when 
you  know  my  motive, 

66  It  would  be  little  to  say  I  was  well  pleased 
with  the  manner  of  your  lecture,  so  well  pleased 
as  to  greatly  regret  the  insufficiency  of  the  mat 
ter.  You  are  evidently  in  earnest,  but  do  not 
know  enough  of  the  subject  about  which  you  are 
speaking. 

"  I  should  like  to  enter  upon  a  correspondence 
with  you  for  the  sake  of  enlightening  you,  broad 
ening  your  views,  and  helping  you  to  conclusions 
that  a  woman' s  mind  unaided  would  never  be  able 
to  attain. 

"  I  will  not  apologize  for  this  intrusion,  feeling 
sure  that  you  are  sufficiently  interested  in  the 
theme  you  present  to  be  willing  to  accept  instruc 
tion  from  better  informed  sources,  and  I  am,  dear 
madame,  etc.,  etc., 


So  much  for  the  matter.     At  least  I  was  per- 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER.  135 

mitted  by  my  modest  censor  to  felicitate  myself 
on  the  manner  of  my  discourse,  a  short-lived 
felicity  that  died  with  the  opening  of  the  next 
epistle  : 

"  Miss  ANNA  DICKINSON  : 

"  Dear  madame  : — As  you  are  a  volunteer  in 
the  correction  of  abuses  and  faults,  I  feel  justefied 
in  constituting  myself  your  adviser  in  regard  to 
your  way  of  speaking.  I  heard  you  last  evening 
and  I  liked  all  you  had  to  say,  and  indorse  it 
fully.  Go  on.  You  are  right.  Only  I  wish  you 
would  change  your  way  of  speaking  ^  and  would 
wear  something  more  cheerful  looking  than  a 
black  silk  dress.  You  stand  so  independently, 
and  talk  in  such  a  loud  voice  (tho'  to  be  sure  I 
don't  see  how  you  could  very  well  be  heard  if  you 
spoke  in  a  low  one),  that  it  doesn't  seem  to  me 
what  I  would  call  womanly,  and  your  appearance 
is  too  strong-minded.  You  are  young  ^yet  and 
you  ought  to  make  yourself  more  attractive  look 
ing  by  wearing  bright  colors  and  ribbons  and  such 
things. 

6 '  A  man  who  is  your  well-wisher, 

« » 

"  For  all,  even  small  favors,  good  Lord,  make 
us  thankful,"  I  mumbled;  "  he  'indorses'  me 
and  desires  me  to  '  go  on '  even  if  I  persist  in  ad 
vancing  in  a  sad-colored,  strong-minded  gown.  I 
am  fortified  for  the  next  document  !" 

But  I  wasn'  t,  for  it  read  : 


136  A  MAGGED  REGISTER 

"  Miss  ANNA— Please  do  not  wear  the  long 
traleing  dress  when  you  Lecture.  It  is  unbecome- 
ing  in  you  as  a  Reformer  and  a  Professedly  Sens- 
able  woman. 

6  *  Read  the  Tract  inclosed.  A  word  to  the  wise 
is  sufficient. 

"  Yours, 


But  how  if  I  be  not  wise  ? 

And  wise  I  am  not,  nor  acceptable  to  the  judg 
ment  of  my  next  mentor,  whose  communication, 
if  not  the  epitome  of  wisdom,  at  least  carries  brev 
ity — the  soul  of  wit. 

Thus  it  ran  to  its  speedy  climax  : 

"  Miss  ANNA  DICKINSON  : — You  are  a  snob. 

"  A  WORKING  MAN. 

"P.S. — Of  course  (as  you  will  say)  I  am  a 
Trades  Unionist." 

Alas,  thought  I,  as  I  eyed  the  last  screed  that 
lay  unopened  on  the  table,  is  that  too  a  masculine 
outpouring  ?  More  reforming  and  correcting  and 
criticizing?  If  it  be,  I  shall  go  down,  swamped 
helplessly  and  hopelessly  under  the  deluge.  Why 
did  I  try  to  help  these  beings  so  more  than  able  to 
take  care  of  themselves,  while  they  assist  and 
enlighten  me  ? 

Is  it  from  a  man  ? 


A   RAGGED   REGISTER.  13? 

Let  us  see  - 

Yes. 

Who  knows  ?  perhaps  it  will  be  so  pleasant,  or 
friendly,  or  frank,  or  kindly,  as  to  quite  put  the 
others  out  of  sight,  and  make  forgetfulness  of 
them  ensue  \ 

It  did. 

Said  my  friend  : 

"  God  has  blessed  you  with  a  vigorous  and 
thinking  mind  and  ability  to  talk  it  out,  and  now 
are  you  not  under  very  strong  obligations  to  de 
vote  your  talents  to  his  service  ? 

"  What  shall  it  profit  you,  my  dear  madame,  if 
you  gain  the  whole  world  and  lose  your  own  soul  ? 
Soon  all  you  will  need  of  earth  will  be  a  shroud 
and  a  coffin. 

"  You  must  be  amassing  property  rapidly,  but 
it  is  not  safe  from  moth  and  rust.  Permit  me  to 
ask,  Have  you  treasure  hid  where  rust  doth  not 
corrupt  ?  As  I  looked  at  you  last  night  I  feared 
not.  You  seemed  too  much  interested  in  pressing 
home  truths  that  are  only  to  benefit  the  material 
prosperity  of  men. 

66  i  Seek  ye  first  the  kingdom  of  heaven.' 

"  I  am  the  pastor  of  a  small  church  now  in  its 
infancy  in  the  neighboring  town  of  -  — .  In  the 
work  of  building,  my  people  have  become  involved 
in  debt — a  debt  that  is  now  due  and  must  be  paid. 
In  addition  to  which  they  are  in  arrears  for  my 
salary  to  the  amount  of  two  hundred  dollars. 


138  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

"  '  The  laborer  is  worthy  of  his  hire.' 

"  You  receive  a  liberal  patronage  from  an  admir 
ing  and  delighted  public.  Don't  forget  the  poor. 

"  Out  of  the  season  you  can  certainly  afford  us 
one  evening.  Other  places  must  furnish  you 
cash.  We  will  give  you  what  is  better — our 
prayers. 

"  If  you  are  not  willing  to  come  you  can  do  as 
good  service  perhaps  by  sending  on  as  a  donation 
to  the  cause  of  Christ  the  amount — two  hundred 
dollars — now  due  me  by  my  people. 

"  '  He  who  giveth  to  the  poor  lendeth  to  the 
Lord.' 

"  I  have  understood  that  you  are  a  Quaker,  or 
Friend  as  they  call  themselves,  which  body, 
I  believe,  are  a  sort  of  infidels,  but  of  whatever 
faith  or  unfaith,  '  the  Lord  loveth  a  cheerful 
giver.' 

"  Give  us  a  call  soon. 

"  Your  well-wisher, 


I  could  bear  no  more.  No  ?  I  must.  For 
there  on  the  floor  where  it  had  slipped  from  the 
companionship  of  bigger  and  clumsier  envelopes 
lay  a  small  messenger  with  face  marked  by  fem 
inine  lines. 

Comfort  at  last ! 

Was  it  so  \ 

"  ANNA  DICKINSON  :  I  hope  you  will  pardon 
the  liberty  I  take  in  addressing  you.  And  yet  it 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  139 

is  no  real  liberty,  and  I  am  but  doing  right,  and 
so  I  ask  no  pardon.  Although  my  sphere  is  an 
humble  one  as  compared  with  yours,  yet  before 
last  evening  I  had  thought  we  both  had  the  same 
end  in  view,  and  were  endeavoring  to  accomplish 
good,  you  in  your  corner  and  I  in  mine. 

"  The  way  to  help  the  world  is  to  help  women. 
The  way  to  elevate  men  is  to  elevate  the  female 
portion  of  community,  and  how  you  can  waste 
your  time  on  'strikes,'  and  '  trades  unions,' 
and  '  apprentices,'  and  matters  that  only  affect 
the  welfare  of  boys  and  men,  and  yet  pretend  to 
be  the  champion  of  your  sex  is  a  mystery  to  such 
a  woman  as  me. 

"  I  went  last  night  to  hear  something  that 
would  be  of  benefit  to  me,  and  felt  as  though  I 
had  been  cheated  out  of  my  seventy-five  cents 
when  you  said  nothing  from  the  beginning  to  the 
end  of  the  evening  about  the  cause  of  woman. 
You  didn't  do  your  own  sex  any  good  by  any 
thing  you  said,  and  none  of  the  men  will  thank 
you,  and  if  they  do,  that  will  be  no  profit  to  me. 
I  want  to  see  you  and  talk  to  you  about  this,  and 
if  you  are  going  to  stay  in  our  town  over  the  day 
I  will  call  this  afternoon  at  the  hotel  to  see  you. 

"  Perhaps  you  noticed  me  last  evening,  for  I 
moved  about  some  while  you  were  speaking.  I 
am  a  middle-aged  woman,  sat  well  forward  in  the 
middle  aisle,  the  fifth  bench  I  think,  and  was 
dressed  in  black  with  a  brown  hat. 

"  Your  friend." 


140  A  RAGGED  REGISTER 

XXVII. 

I  didn't  stay  till  afternoon.  I  locked  my  trunk, 
put  my  hat  sadly  on  my  diminished  head,  and  left 
the  town.  Even  the  request  of  the  lecture  com 
mittee  that  I  would  return  to  the  place  the  next 
season  failed  to  put  me  into  a  cheerful  and  self- 
satisfied  frame  of  mind.  I  was  flattened  for  the 
day. 

But  laughed  in  spite  of  my  depressed  feelings 
over  a  queer-looking  bridal  pair  who  boarded  the 
train  at  -  — .  The  groom,  gorgeous  in  lavender 
trowsers,  gray  coat,  flowered  waistcoat,  scarlet 
necktie  and  stove-pipe  hat.  The  bride  arrayed 
in  a  pea-green  suit,  and  blue  and  white  bonnet. 

"  So  you're  caught  at  last,  are  you,  Jack," 
shouted  a  sympathizing  friend,  coming  up  the  car 
to  shake  hands  with  the  happy  man.  ' '  I  congrat 
ulate  you." 

"  Thankee,  yes,"  assented  Jack. 

"  Cubit's  shot  me 
And  Hy Ionian's  got  me 

Fast  enough  !     Ha  !  ha  !     Huzzah  !     There,  you 
didn't  know  you  had  a  poet  for  a  husband,  Maria, 

did  you  3" 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER,  141 

And  Maria  blushed,  and  bridled,  and  looked 
about  her  as  though  she  were  aware  she  had  made 
a  great  catch,  and  was  sure  she  was  the  envy  of  all 
feminine  beholders,  and  her  Jack  abundantly 
able  to  "  take  the  shine"  off  of  any  other  he,  be 
he  who  he  might,  but  would  generously  refrain 
from  speech  to  that  effect,  or  any  noisy  outward 
demonstrations. 

And  the  next  day  I  came  to  a  little  experience 
that  more  than  off  set  all  the  "  mashing"  I  had  en 
dured  the  day  before,  and  set  me  up  again. 

I  was  trotting  along  to  the  train,  when  a  fine, 
wholesome-looking  matron  stopped  me  with — 

"  You  don't  know  me,  but  I  know  you  and 
love  you.  God  bless  you.  Shake  hands." 

Gladly  I  thrust  out  my  member  for  the  desired 
ceremony. 

"  You  are  very  busy,  I  hope  v\ 

"  Yes,"  said  I. 

"  Good,"  she  responded.     "  Keep  at  it." 

"  Tired?" 

"  Sometimes,"  said  I. 

"  That'  sright,"  said  she.  "Stick  to  it.  It's 
good  to  get  tired  doing  such  work  as  you're 
doing.  The  Lord' 11  rest  you  by  and  by— bless 
you.  Happy  3" 


142  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

"  Yes,"  said  I. 

"  Bless  you  for  that,"  said  she  ;  and  then  after 
a  bit  of  confab,  and  good-by,  she  called  after  me, 
"  I  hope  you  are  well  and  hearty.' 

"  Yes,"  bawled  I. 

* {  Bless  you  for  that, ' '  cried  she,  and  so  we  went 
on  our  respective  ways.  What  befell  her  I  know 
not.  I  hope  nothing  but  good.  For  me,  I  plunged 
into  a  hornet' s  nest. 

XXVIII. 

One  of  the  "  prof essional  agitators"  spied  me  in 
the  cars,  and  planting  himself  in  the  forward  seat, 
said  abruptly — 

"  I  don't  like  you  nor  your  theories." 

"  Ah  !"  I  responded  ;  "  fortunately  I  have  the 
strength,  or  the*  brassiness  of  mind,  to  bear  the 
weight  of  your  displeasure." 

"  No,"  he  continued.  "  I  used  to  like  to  hear 
you  till  you  took  to  talking  of  a  matter  you  have 
no  knowledge  of,  and  have  no  business  and  no 
right  to  touch,  and  now  I'd  rather  hiss  you  than 
listen  to  you  any  night.  You've  got  no  right  to 
be  talking  about  this  workingmen's  question." 

"  No  r  I  asked.     "  Why  not  ?" 


A  SAGGED    REGISTER.  143 

"  To  begin  with,  you  know  yon' re  a  rich 
woman,"  said  he. 

"  Don't  I  wish  I  knew  it  ?"  interpolated  I. 

"  And  yon  don't  know  any  thing  about  work, 
practically"  he  went  on. 

"  Well,"  said  I,  "as  I  have  taken  care  of  my 
self  since  I  was  fifteen  years  old,  I  onght  to  know 
something  about  it — very  practically  too." 

' '  And  yonr  sympathies  are  altogether  with  the 
employers.  That's  plain  to  be  seen,"  he  pur 
sued. 

c  i  Have  you  seen  it  ?  When  and  where  did  you 
hear  me  ?"  inquired  I. 

"  No,  I  haven't,  and  I  wouldn't  go  to  hear  you 
either,"  answered  my  can  did  friend  ;  "  when  I  go 
to  hear  any  one  I  like  to  hear  somebody  who 
knows  what  he's  talking  about,  and  isn't  all  on 
one  side  of  a  question,  and  that  the  wrong  one." 

"  You  are  quite  sure  your  favorite  orator  would 
not  be  a  looking-glass  ?"  I  asked,  "  or  an  echo  f ' 

' '  You  mean  I  like  to  hear  my  own  views,  I  sup 
pose.  Yes,  I  do,  of  course,  because  I  know 
they're  right,  and  I  like  to  advocate  them  too. 
Now  I'm  a  trades-unionist,  and  I  can't  see  how 
you  can  dare  to  go  about  the  country  fighting  the 
trades  unions,  and  saying  your  say  so  freely  on  a 


144  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

matter  that's  taxed  the  political  economists  for 
centuries,  when  it's  safe  to  say  you  don't  know 
and  can't  know  any  thing  about  it. 

"No?"  queried  I,  "I  am  learning  something 
now.  So  the  political  economists  have  been  tax 
ing  their  brains  for  centuries  over  the  outrages  of 
the  trades  unions,  and  the  "  Molly  Maguires," 
have  they  ?  I  thought  that  special  class  of 
troubles  had  been  confined  to  the  last  fifty  years, 
but  I  stand  corrected.  And  I  don't  fight  the 
trades  unions,  but  their  tyranny  and  abuses.  I 
approve  of  them.  And  I  talk  about  the  matter 
because  I  am  interested  in  it,  and  have  as  good 
an  opportunity  to  know  about  it  as  you.  What 
are  you  ?" 

"  F  ve  just  told  you  I  was  a  working  man. ' ' 

"What  kind?  Professional?  minister? 
lawyer?  professor?  doctor?  teacher?" 

"No,"  he  replied,  with  disdain,  "I  don't  be 
long  to  the  drones  of  society." 

"No?  Perhaps  then,"  I  farther  interrogated, 
' '  you  are  a  baker  ?  or  a  butcher  ?  or  a  chandler  ? 
No  ?  Nor  a  farmer  ?  nor  a  market  gardener  ?  nor 
a  cattle-raiser  ?  nor  a  dairyman  ? — none  of  these  ? 
Maybe  a  mason  ?  a  carpenter  ?  a  machinist  ?  You 
can' t  be  a  factory  operative  ?  nor  a  day  laborer  ? 


A  BAGGED  REGISTER.  145 

Pardon  me  if  I  ask  what  is  your  trade,  and  where 
did  you  serve  your  apprenticeship  ?" 

The  man  had  no  trade.  I  knew  it,  but  I  wanted 
him  to  confess  it,  and  he  did. 

He  served  as  a  good  background  to  throw  into 
relief  some  real  workingmen  I  saw  that  evening  : 
a  body  of  fine-looking  fellows,  who  had  been 
listening  with  peculiar  intentness  to  the  speech. 
They  got  round  me,  twenty  of  them  perhaps,  and 
their  spokesman  inquired,  "  You  disapprove  of 
strikes  always  f 

"  In  this  country,  yes,"  I  answered,  "  for  there 
is  sufficient  intelligence  and  goodwill  on  both 
sides  to  come  to  a  right  understanding  without 
resorting  to  the  stupid  and  brutal  methods  of 
war." 

4 'That  sounds  fair,"  he  said,  "but  I  notice 
your  solution  of  difficulties  for  such  men  as  me 
and  my  mates  is  co-operation,  but  co-operation 
needs  money.  Now  here  are  these  men, ' '  I  looked 
at  and  approved  of  them,  not  a  dull  nor  sulky 
face  among  them.  "  We  are  machinists."  I  ap 
proved  of  them  yet  more.  I  always  did  have  a 
special  admiration  for  the  combined  sense  and 
manliness  that  are  almost  invariable  ingredients 

of  this  class  of  workers.     "  We  want  to  get  on  in 

10 


146  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

the  world,  we  would  like  to  be  our  own  employ 
ers,  but  we  haven't  money." 

"  You  look  as  though  you  had  the  equivalent 
of  money — brains,"  said  I. 

They  smiled  and  made  no  objection  to  that. 

"  You  know,  in  this  town,  of  men  who  have 
money  to  invest  f 

"  Yes,"  they  assented. 

"  And  who  could  know  of  you — what  you  are 
as  men  and  workmen  f ' 

"  I  think  so.     Yes,"  said  the  spokesman. 

"Well,  of  course  I  don't  ~know"  I  went  on, 
"  but  I  do  think  if  you  would  make  a  plan  of 
what  you  can  do — how  work,  what  per  cent  allow 
your  captain — and  carry  it  to  some  such  man,  who 
because  he  has  brains  and  money  will  be  able  to 
understand  and  help  the  scheme,  you  could  get 
what  you  want." 

"  What  do  you  mean  by  our  captain  ?"  asked 
one  of  them. 

"Your  business  head,"  I  answered.  "There 
isn't  a  money-making  scheme  in  this  country- 
factory,  railroad,  telegraph,  bank — that  is  not  a 
joint-stock  affair — a  co-operative  effort  whereby 
a  few  rich  men  band  together  and  hire  another 
man  even  keener  and  abler  than  they,  to  conduct 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  147 

their  affairs  to  profit :  and  what  five  rich  men  can 
do,  five  hundred  pool  men  can  do,  I  believe 
equally  well." 

"  I  like  to  hear  you  say  it,"  spoke  one  of  the 
hearty  voices.  "  It  puts  faith  into  a  man.  You 
say  it  as  if  you  were  sure  of  it. ' ' 

"  It's  worth  trying,"  assented  another,  "and 
we'll  try"  chorused  the  score. 

If  they  did  try  I  know  their  enterprise  flour 
ished,  for  they  are  the  stuff  out  of  which  successes 
are  made. 

XXIX. 

It  is  the  creatures  too  indolent  to  work,  vain, 
shallow,  eager  for  a  little  brief  authority,  and  hun 
gry  for  notoriety,  who  are  making  eight -tenths  of 
the  trouble  among  the  real  working  men  ;  and  the 
workingmen,  in  regard  to  trade  government,  are 
like  the  great  body  of  the  people  in  regard  to  the 
general  government,  l  i  too  busy' '  to  look  after  the 
character  and  doings  of  those  who  are  all  too 
ready  to  be  the  ' i  keepers  and  defenders  of  their 
interests." 

"  Workingmen  !"  Half  of  the  fom enters  of 
discords,  leaders  in  strikes,  union  officers,  spout- 
ers  enthusiastic  for  war  and  its  accompanying  pri- 


148  A  MAGGED  REGISTER 

vations  and  miseries,  are  like  the  witness,  who, 
being  asked  some  questions  by  the  Sheffield  Par 
liamentary  Commission  touching  his  trade  and  its 
compensation,  averred  that  he  had  been  ' '  on  the 
box' '  for  four  years  continuously,  drawing,  regu 
larly,  seventeen  shillings  and  sixpence  a  week,  and 
doing  nothing  but  what  the  box-keepers  told 
him  :  stirring  up  strikes. 

"  And  it  warn' t  bad  wage  neither,"  he  added, 
cheerfully. 

For  their  labors — they  are  no  more  productive 
than  those  of  another  witness,  who,  being  asked 
by  this  same  commission  as  to  what  were  the  pre 
cise  duties  of  a  committee  man,  "  didn't  exactly 
know,"  though  he  had  been  serving  in  that  ca 
pacity  for  sixteen  weeks. 

"  What  did  you  do,  yourself  ?"    was  inquired. 

"  I  sat  still  and  sooped  ale." 

"  And  what  did  the  others  do  ?" 

"  Many  of  them  sooped  ale  too. 

i  i  Had  then, ' '  demanded  one  of  the  investiga 
tors,  "  committee  men  no  duties  besides  that  of 
supping  ale  ?' ' 

Deponent  could  not  say  :  during  his  sixteen 
weeks  of  office  he  had  discovered  no  other. 

When    practical  workingmen    have  done  witli 


A   It  AGO  ED  REGISTER.        .  149 

quacks  and  leeches,  and  exercise  as  much  thought 
and  sense  on  their  own  affairs  as  they  now  demand 
justice  and  generosity  of  their  employers,  there 
will  be  less  need  of  the  demand,  and  speedier  and 
better  methods  of  ensuring  it  when  needed,  than 
are  seen  in  these  days  of  wasteful  warfare  and 
angry  recrimination. 

XXX. 

I  had  a  great  curiosity  before  reaching  Boston 
to  know  what  manner  of  treatment  its  audience 
would  accord  this  particular  theme. 

A  Boston  "  reformatory"  audience  is  the  kind 
est  of  all  audiences  — to  any  one  it  can  patronize  ; 
and  the  most  attentive — to  any  one  who  is  very 
great,  and  who  moves  with  the  tide. 

There  is  a  popular  superstition  that  it  is  liberal 
— given  to  candid  and  courageous  hearing  of  all 
sides  of  a  question — willing  to  listen,  if  not  to 
commend. 

If  any  person  should  state  that  the  people  com 
posing  it  are  the  most  intolerant  liberals,  and  the 
most  conservative  reformers  to  be  found  by  long- 
search,  the  legitimate  descendants  of  the  Puritans 
who  were  ready  to  die  for  their  own  freedom  of 
conscience,  and  more  than  ready  to  put  any  one 


350  A   BAGGED  REGISTE1L 

to  death  who  ventured  to  demand  freedom  of  con 
science  as  an  inalienable  right  of  all  mankind, 
such  person  would  run  the  risk  of  a  critical  ston 
ing,  or  an  intellectual  whipping  at  the  cart's  tail, 
but  would  have  the  moral  support  to  be  found  in 
his  own  internal  consciousness  of  having  spoken 
the  truth. 

I  smiled — the  sort  of  smile  that  tends  to  depress 
the  corners  of  the  mouth — as  I  watched  the  recep 
tion,  not  hearing,  accorded  the  speech  by  the 
magnificent  gathering  in  the  great  ungainly  hall. 

Among  those  three  thousand  men  and  women, 
certainly  there  was  scarce  one  with  brains  in 
sufficient  to  detect  sophistry  or  sift  testimony,  or 
reject  false  argument,  so  that,  having  paid  their 
money  to  hear,  they  could  well  afford  to  sit  still 
and  listen. 

To  drown  speech  is  proof  of  conscious  weakness 
to  defend  a  right  cause,  and  consequent  unwilling 
ness  to  face  the  strength  of  its  opponents  ;  or  it  is 
a  confession  that  the  cause  itself  is  a  poor  and 
wrong  one. 

Always  hear  the  opposition,  say  I.  If  one  is 
wrong,  one  has  so  a  chance  of  being  righted.  If 
one  is  right,  one  has  opportunity  to  be  strength 
ened.  And  in  either  case  one  has  a  better  show  to 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  151 

hit  Ms  enemy  if  one  goes  out  and  views  Ms  posi 
tion  and  knows  where  to  find  him. 

And  in  any  case,  long  live  free  speech  !  and  let 
everybody  have  a  fair  field,  favor  or  no  favor,  in 
which  to  utter  it. 

Not  so  thought  ye  Boston  lecture  audience  of 
that  night,  its  faith  at  the  time  being  one  to  be 
formulated  somewhat  after  this  wise  :  — 

At  present,  the  greatest  crime  a  man  can  commit 
is  to  wear  clean  linen  and  claim  a  liberal  bank  ac 
count  of  his  own  accumulation.  Such  an  one  be 
ing  guilty  of  brains,  of  industry,  of  skill,  of  hard 
work,  of  exhaustless  energy,  and  of  having  used 
these  to  lift  himself  from  poverty  to  affluence,  is 
in  the  minority,  and  as  such  has  no  rights  that 
any  lover  of  his  kind,  and  the  majority,  is  bound 
to  respect. 

Another  crime  of  almost  equal  magnitude  is  for 
a  man  to  prefer  working  the  number  of  hours  a 
day  himself  may  choose,  and  not  those  that  shall 
be  marked  for  him  by  a  body  of  fellow- workmen  ; 
and  to  get  all  the  pay  for  his  labor  to  which  his 
skill  shall  entitle  him,  instead  of  taking  the  price 
that  the  least  skilled  or  idlest  amongst  his  fellows 
is  capable  of  commanding. 

Yet  another  is  that  a  man  satisfied  with  his 


152  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

work  and  his  pay,  with  a  family  to  support,  and 
no  quarrel  to  make  with  his  employer"  shall  pre 
fer  uninterrupted  industry  and  profit  to  pauper 
idleness  that  shall  be  commanded  by  a  body  of 
other  laborers  who  are  dissatisfied  with  their  work 
and  their  pay,  or  with  the  presence  of  an  obnox 
ious  man  or  boy  in  their  midst. 

Another  and  worse  crime  is  to  be  a  poor  boy  in 
search  of  a  trade.  Woe  to  him  !  Better  for  him 
had  he  never  been  born  than  that  he  should  de 
pend  for  the  opportunity  to  gain  skill  on  the  con 
sent  of  men  who  know  to  the  full  the  value  of 
what  they  withhold. 

And  a  crime  as  great  as  any  of  these  is  to  pro 
test  against  tyranny  of  all  kinds,  whether  it  be  of 
class  over  class,  of  masters  over  men,  or  of  men 
over  masters,  or  of  men  over  men,  or  last  and 
worst  and  meanest  of  all,  of  skilled  men  over  un 
skilled  and  helpless  boys. 

At  present,  "  labor  reform"  is  the  faith  and  the 
fashion  of  a  great  many  people,  among  whom 
should  be  numbered  my  audience.  It  is  easier  to 
talk  about  "  bloated  aristocrats"  than  to  make 
manifest  the  truth  that,  in  ninety-nine  cases  out 
of  a  hundred  the  capitalists  of  this  land  are  the 
industrious,  capable,  hard  -  working  laborers. 


A   E  AGO  ED  REGISTER.  153 

Easier  to  pay  a  man  coarse  compliments  by  calling 
him  part  of  the  "  real  bone  and  sinew  of  the  na 
tion,"  "  one  of  the  props  of  the  Bepiiblic,"  and 
so  secure  his  vote,  than  to  show  him  that  this  sort 
of  thing  is  said  for  the  express  purpose  of  secur 
ing  his  vote  for  some  monstrous  scheme  of  pillage, 
or  the  enriching  of  the  sole  class  who,  in  this  land, 
are  affluent  without  toil.  Easier  to  natter  a  man 
than  to  tell  him  the  truth.  Easier  to  sympathize 
with  the  "  victim  of  capital"  than  to  show  him 
how  he  can  be  his  own  master  by  skill  and  co 
operative  effort ;  and  far  easier  to  snivel  over  the 
oppression  of  the  employer  than  to  denounce  the 
cruelty  of  the  employed  over  one  another,  or  over 
those  who  would  fain  be  of  their  number,  but 
who  are  by  them  relegated  to  the  streets  and  so 
apprenticed  to  ignorance,  vice,  crime,  the  prison, 
and  even  there  are  denied  by  their  workingmen 
tyrants  a  knowledge  of  the  skilled  labor  that  might 
serve  as  a  teacher  of  reformation,  and  would  cer 
tainly  remove  the  burthen  of  their  support  from 
the  struggling  and  tax-paying  men  and  women 
outside. 

Well,  Boston  turns  round  with  the  rest  of  the 
world,  her  "  reform"  audiences  included.  By 
and  by  they  will  "right  face"  on  this  matter. 


154  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

But  on  the  evening  of  which  I  tell  yon,  as  I  said 
my  say  to  this  question,  I  had  abundant  oppor 
tunity  to  realize  that  I  was  in  the  city  that  had 
stood  men  in  pillories,  and  hung  women  on  the 
Common,  for  speaking  and  spending  themselves, 
not  in  self-seeking,  but  in  conscientious  if  dis 
agreeable  efforts  for  the  good  of  their  kind. 

If  they  had  hissed  when  I  closed  I  would  have 
had  no  objection,  but  to  hiss  before  I  had  begun, 
and  to  hiss  so  persistently  as  to  "  joomble  the  un- 
derstonding  and  confoond  the  sense,"  is,  I  re 
spectfully  submit,  neither  a  fair  nor  brave  way  of 
meeting  an  antagonist  or  an  argument. 

XXXI. 

Certainly,  as  a  rule,  it  is  well  to  let  people  work 
out  their  own  salvation.  Like  the  mediators  in  a 
domestic  brawl,  the  well-intentioned  folks  who  try 
to  help  along  the  good  effort  are  apt  to  get  no 
thanks,  and  to  carry  away  two  boxed  ears,  and  a 
face  swollen  on  both  sides  by  way  of  compensa 
tion.  For  example  :  At  a  town — not  in  the  moon 
— I  found  a  crowd  packed  so  long  and  so  closely 
into  a  thrice- heated  and  air-tight  hall  as  to  more 
nearly  resemble  freshly  scalded  lobsters  than 
human  beings,  and  I,  having  compassion  on  them, 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  155 

entered  a  petition  in  their  behalf  for  some  oxygen, 
repeating  the  petition  at  intervals  during  the  eve 
ning,  for  I  liked  them  so  well  as  to  desire  confab 
with  them  through  the  whole  hour  and  a  quarter, 
and  not  have  them  either  stifle  or  stew  during  the 
operation. 

Lo  !  the  next  morning's  paper  gave  liberal 
space  to  divers  and  sundry  "  communications,"  to 
the  effect  that  "  Miss  D.  ought  to  have  been 
sufficiently  complimented  by  the  presence  of  an 
immense  and  uncomfortable  crowd  of  people, 
many  of  whom  had  been  in  waiting  two  hours  be 
fore  the  time  of  the  lecture,  to  have  shown  better 
taste  and  temper  than  she  displayed  by  wasting 
their  time  in  complaints  of  the  air  and  insulting 
comments  on  the  ventilation  of  the  beautiful  new 
hall  she  had  the  distinguished  honor  of  opening." 

Liv^e  and  learn,  is  an  old  motto. 

My  rasped  sensibilities  were  soothed  by  a  hearty 
laugh,  as,  paper  in  hand,  I  was  rushing  to  the 
cars. 

A  stout  party,  very  red  as  to  the  face,  very 
pudgy,  and  coarse-looking  as  to  jewelled  hands, 
peacock  hued  as  to  raiment,  thrust  her  head  out 
of  an  elegant  coupe,  and,  hailing  me,  demanded — 

"  How  many  miles  to  Bosting  ?" 


156  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

"  Seven,"  said  I. 

"  Seving  ?"  she  cried,  thrusting  out  each  one  of 
her  stubby  digits,  panoplied  in  gold  and  dia 
monds,  and  waving  a  manacled  arm.  "  Seving 
miles  to  Bosting  ?  Gracious  heavings !  I 
thought  it  was  eleving." 

It  was  so  long  since  the  close  of  the  war  and  the 
reign  of  shoddy,  that  I  stared  as  though  I  had 
beheld  a  resurrection.  I  did  not  come  sufficiently 
near  to  determine  the  doubt,  but  am  next  to  sure 
that  I  might  have  sniffed  an  odor  of  petroleum. 

XXXII. 

There  is  one  comfort  in  connection  with  a 
thought  of  such  people.  Solomon  put  it  suc 
cinctly,  "  A  fool  and  his  money  are  soon  parted." 
They  serve  as  a  good  circulating  medium.  They 
keep  money  afloat. 

And  then  there  is  the  consolation  to  people  who 
have  not  much  money,  as  they  contemplate  these 
beings,  that,  there  is  something  better  than  money. 

One  realizes  that  fact  in  migrating  through  a 
legion  of  small  towns  scattered  over  New  Eng 
land. 

Nobody  is  rich,  but  nobody  is  poor  ;  there  is 
no. grandee's  palace,  and  there  is  no  hovel ;  no- 


A   RAGGED   REGISTER.  157 

body  rests  in  silken  ease,  but  nobody  is  bound  to 
the  grindstone  ;  men  are  busy,  women  are  busy, 
part  of  the  time  children  are  busy,  but  health 
fully,  not  as  they  are  in  the  great  wearing  factory 
towns. 

There  are  a  plenty  of  little  houses  with  a  gable 
roof  or  a  dormer  window,  or  a  piazza,  or  a  rustic 
stoop — something  to  suggest  artistic  sense  as  well 
as  utility. 

Inside  there  are  painted  walls,  with  pictures  on 
them,  prints,  or  lithographs,  or  "chromos,"  and 
painted  floors,  with  the  indescribably  homely-look 
that  comes  from  hand-made  bright  rag-rugs  and 
patchwork  cushions  on  the  old-fashioned  rocking- 
chairs  and  settees.  There  is  that  abomination,  an 
air-tight  wood  stove.,  but  then,  to  offset  it,  there  is 
always  a  red  moreen  curtain,  or  some  bright  bind 
ings  among  the  books,  or  a  scarlet  or  golden  flower 
burning  against  the  ivy  growing  about  the  win 
dow. 

There  are  churches,  and  schoolhouses,  and  the 
town  hall,  and  generally  a  lyceum  hall,  and  a 
lyceum,  and  library  or  reading-room,  and  there 
are  people  to  look  after  all  these,  who  are  honest 
and  earnest  to  the  core,  and  faithful  "  to  their 
lights,"  and  diligent  searchers  after  truth. 


158  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

Some  enthusiastic  but  untrained  youth,  who 
has  been  reading  about  Sam  Adams,  writes  me 
from  western  wilds,  "  Is  there  any  other  beings 
that  does  any  more  toward  keeping  this  wicked 
world  as  good  as  it  is,  and  is  there  any  other 
class  of  people  that  is  any  honester  than  the  Yan 
kees  ?" 

On  the  whole,  I  am  free  to  confess  that  I  think 
there  "  isn't." 

Not  abounding  in  ludicrous  experiences  to  en 
liven  the  road  of  a  tired  traveller,  yet  even  in  the 
midst  of  its  staidness,  now  and  again  I  stumbled 
upon  some  "  richness." 

XXXIII. 

Appropriately  enough,  at  Salem  I  found  my 
ghost. 

Salem  is  an  antique  and  pleasingly  suggestive 
town,  full  of  present  beauty  and  past  memories. 

Perhaps  it  was  by  reason  of  a  glance  given  that 
afternoon  at  "  Witches'  Hill,"  and  a  remembrance 
of  the  ugly  tree  that  once  cast  dismal  shadows 
there,  that  I  did  not  laugh  quite  honestly,  when, 
in  the  evening,  my  hostess  remarked,  "  I  presume 
you  know  that  this  house  has  the  reputation  of 
being  haunted." 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  159 

"  Is  it  so  ?"  I  inquired.  "  By  witch,  or  Quaker  ? 
Angry  or  friendly  ghost  1  And  does  the  spirit 
show  itself  to  earthly  vision,  or  is  it  content  to 
'  demonstrate'  by  noise  alone  ?" 

"By  noise  alone,"  said  my  hostess,  "  and 
enough  of  it.  There  are  all  manner  of  mysterious 
sounds  to  be  heard  in  this  house  o'  nights.  Some 
times  by  daylight  too." 

"  Rats,"  said  my  host,  sententiously,  adding, 
"  They  come  from  the  old  warehouse  next  door." 

My  hostess  smiled. 

"  Men  always  do  think  they  know  so  much," 
she  remarked,  blandly,  "  T  ve  heard  noises  that 
no  rat  made." 

"  Wind,"  suggested  the  off  ending  skeptic. 

"  Very  like,"  assented  his  wife,  "  if  spirits  are 
made  of  wind. 

I  thought  I  detected  some  light-minded  words 
in  connection  with  "spirits,"  but  remembering 
mine  host  was  a  staunch  advocate  of  prohibition 
concluded  my  ears  had  deceived  me. 

' i  You  are  not  superstitious,  I  hope, ' '  said  he. 

"  I  hope  you  are  not  timid,"  said  she. 

"Neither  the  one  nor  the  other,"  stoutly  as 
severated  I. 

"  Good,"  said  he. 


160  A  RAGG'ED  REGISTER. 

t '  You  will  be  apt  to  hear  something, ' '  said  she. 

"Very  well,"  said  I.  "  What  is  written  is 
written.  If  sights  and  sounds  of  ghosts  be 
stamped  in  the  book  of  my  fate,  I  must  submit  to 
what  is  in  store  for  me,"  and  I  went  away  to  my 
room. 

The  room  was  a  delightful  old-fashioned  apart 
ment,  big  enough  for  three  modern  sleeping  con 
cerns,  the  open  fire,  and  huge  chintz-covered  easy 
chair  inviting — I  said  I  wouldn't — yet  even  while 
I  said  so,  sat  down  to  read. 

I  read  and  the  hours  wore  on. 

The  book  was  not  cheerful,  far  from  it,  but  it 
was  fascinating — Bulwer's  "  Strange  Story" — and 
as  the  night  waned  there  was  something  more 
than  the  sinking  fire  to  account  for  the  chill  that 
insidiously  crept  over  me. 

I  could  hear  the  striking  of  the  bell  at  the  town 
hall.  Two  o'  clock.  It  did  sound  preternaturally 
clear  and  loud.  I  paused  in  my  reading  to  listen. 
Could  the  unhappy  souls  that  so  many  years  ago 
were  untimely  sped  into  Eternity  yet  wander- 
about  these  old  haunts  of  earth  to  disturb  the  de 
scendants  of  their  merciless  executioners  \  I  pon 
dered  the  thought,  and,  still  pondering,  put  down 
the  book  with  its  weird  characters  and  uncanny 


A  .RAGGED  REGISTER.  161 

apparitions,  and  found  my  way,  sMveringly  and 
in  haste,  to  bed. 

Had  I  really  been  asleep  \  I  do  not  know,  j 
know  a  longer  or  shorter  interregnum  of  dark  and 
silence  had  followed  the  extinguishing  of  my 
light,  and  that  I  had  lost  consciousness  when 
something  wakened  me. 

Up  I  sprang  with  the  familiar  exclamation, 
' u  Who's  there  >" 

K"o  reply,  but  a  swisMng  sound,  soft  and  con 
tinuous,  smote  my  ear  in  such  wise  as  to  make  it 
tingle  with  any  thing  but  pleasing  sensations. 

"  Who's  there  f  again  demanded  I,  this  time 
defiantly. 

Again  no  answer,  but  stillness  fell  for  a 
space. 

Softly  I  got  out  of  bed,  and,  as  well  as  I  could, 
steered  for  the  gas-burner  and  the  match  safe  with 
intent  to  cast  some  light  upon  the  matter,  but 
alas,  was  foiled  on  reaching  them  by  the  discovery 
of  one  headless  stick  and  two  burned  ones. 

The  silence  continued. 

"  Sheer  imagination,"  said  I  to  myself  jeer- 
ingly,  and  retraced  my  steps  through  the  room. 

Swish,   swisli,  went  the   noise,  and   I   sat  up 

again — swish,  swisJi,  swish. 
11 


162  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

Rats  ?  ~No  ;  it  was  not  like  rats.  No  gnawing, 
no  scamper,  no  patter. 

Wind  ?  Perhaps  so.  There  is  no  accounting 
for  some  of  its  demonstrations.  I  shook  np 
the  pillow  and  composed  myself  to  sleep  once 
more. 

It  was  no  use — swasJi  went  something. 

I  scrambled  out  this  time  in  dire  earnest.  A 
light  I  must  have.  A  light  I  would  have.  There 
were  no  matches.  I  stumbled  my  way  to  the  hall 
door,  and  cautiously  opened  it.  No  light.  No 
stir.  No  possibility  of  illumination  from  that 
quarter,  and  as  for  rousing  any  one  by  my  prowl- 
ings  in  search  of  match  or  candle  my  dignity 
would  not  allow  of  such  a  suggestion — no,  not  for 
a  moment.  Had  I  not  emphatically  repelled  the 
insinuation  of  either  timidity  or  superstition  ?  I 
shut  the  door  and  turned  back  into  the  room. 

Seemingly  the  fire  had  died,  but  I  found  my 
way  to  the  grate  and  poked  at  it  gingerly,  till 
through  the  ashes  I  saw  the  glimmering  hint  of  an 
ember,  and  blew  at  it  till  my  throat  was  dry,  in  a 
vain  effort  to  light  a  scrap  of  paper,  dragged  from 
the  recesses  of  my  coat  pocket,  but  the  letter- 
paper  was  harsh  and  unamenable  to  fire  or  reason, 
and  did  but  smoke  and  smoke  till,  through  heat- 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  163 

ing  and  charring,  it  was  gone  without  consenting 
to  the  dawn  of  a  blaze. 

The  noise  had  stopped  meanwhile,  but  began 
again.  A  soft  breathing  and  a  movement  like 
trailing  garments.  I  had  no  more  paper  to  help 
me.  I  must  prosecute  my  investigations  in  the 
dark. 

For  the  second  time  I  stumbled  to  the  door. 
No  one  there.  To  the  windows.  There  were  four 
of  these,  lofty,  with  blinds  within  and  without. 
No,  no  tree  branch  grew  sufficiently  near  to  strike 
against  them.  No  loose  hinge  nor  ill -hung  sash 
permitted  them  to  waver,  no  rain  fell  from  the 
darkened  sky  to  beat  against  them,  but  the  dark 
ened  sky  and  dreary  night  allowed  no  friendly 
glimmer  to  penetrate  the  gloomy  recesses  of  my 
room,  up  and  down  which  I  navigated,  hands  and 
feet  both  in  requisition,  with  many  a  halt  and 
more  than  one  threatened  shipwreck  in  a  hopeless 
voyage  of  discovery. 

Nothing  but  darkness,  stillness,  and  bruises 
rewarded  me.  "  I  am  a  fool,"  then  said  I,  with 
chattering  teeth;  umy  death  I  shall  catch,  but 
a  ghost  ? — no.  Let  us  have  done  !" 

JSwasTi  went  the  something  once  more. 

"  Ah  ha !"    whispered  I,    with  malicious   tri- 


164  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

umph,  as  I  shuffled  across  the  room  ;  "  you  are 
there,  are  you  ?  in  the  water  pitcher  1  trying  to 
drown  yourself?  Now  I  have  you!"  and  I 
plunged  my  hand  into  the  pitcher,  into  the  basin, 
back  into  the  pitcher  to  its  bottom.  Nothing 
there  but  water,  cold  and  plenteous  —  nothing 
found  save  a  wet  arm  and  an  addition  to  discom 
fort  by  a  wet  sleeve. 

I  went  back  to  the  grate,  and  sat  down  on  the 
floor  in  front  of  it,  thinking  its  memories  might 
warm  me,  and  resolved  myself  into  a  committee 
of  one  for  farther  thought  and  the  consideration 
of  fresh  tactics  for  a  new  campaign. 

"  There  is  nothing  amiss  here,"  finally  an 
nounced  the  committee,  embracing  itself  and  blow 
ing  vigorously  on  its  frozen  fingers. 

A  sound,  not  noisy,  but  unmistakable,  replied. 

The  committee  applied  its  ear  to  the  floor  till  it 
was  satisfied  and  its  back  ached.  The  visitant  did 
not  occupy  there.  The  committee  decided  on  a 
pilgrimage,  and  glued  its  ear  to  each  of  the  four 
walls  successively  till  it  tingled  with  the  cold  and 
strain.  The  unknown  guest  was  not  quartered 
there. 

Guest  indeed  !  Who  was  to  say  it  was  not  the 
lawful  inhabitant  of  this  domain  justly  incensed 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER.  165 

by  an  impudent  interloper  s  calling  of  committees 
and  sitting  in  judgment  upon  its  peaceful  if  noc 
turnal  ablutions  and  exercise?  The  committee, 
rebuked,  hung  its  head  in  shame,  and  resolved 
itself  into  the  humility  of  a  private  citizen. 

The  private  citizen,  unsupported  by  official 
authority,  retreated  to  the  shelter  of  pillows  and 
blankets,  and  determined  to  give  repose  to  its 
heavy  head  and  burning  eyeballs,  though  a  whole 
legion  of  ghosts  saw  lit  to  revel  in  what  had  once 
been  the  abode  of  some  one  of  their  number,  or 
the  habitation  of  a  contemporary  persecutor  or 
friend. 

Determination  has  its  rewards.  Strained  eye 
balls  and  tense  head  gradually  relaxed,  frozen 
body  thawed,  sleep,  with  its  downy  mantle,  was 
covering  all  fret  and  fatigue  with  its  blessed  ob 
livion,  when—  Well,  I  sat  up  once  more,  de 
scended,  ran  nimbly,  for  I  had  learned  every  step 
of  the  way  to  the  grate,  and  that  forlorn  hope  of 
an  ember.  Did  it  still  live  ?  Barely,  and  fast 
growing  cold. 

There  were  no  more  scraps  of  paper,  no  more 
letters.  Even  the  match-sticks  had  been  tried  in 
desperation  and  tried  in  vain  ;  but  there  was  my 
pocket-book,  and  some  scrip,  or,  this  failing,  a  bill 


166  A  RAGGED  REGISTER 

of  inferior  denomination.  So  the  blowing,  and 
the  ashes,  and  the  slow  dull  smoking,  slower,  and 
duller  than  before,  were  repeated,  and  that  was  all 
—save  that  I  was  the  poorer  by  some  scrip  and  a 
greenback  or  so. 

"  Miserable  ghost !"  cried  I,  the  necessity  of 
speech  subdued  by  reason  of  the  living  beings 
sleeping  in  near  rooms,  making  speech  doubly 
intense  not  to  say  savage— to  the  being,  living  or 
dead,  but  wide-awake  and  aggressive  in  my  own 
room  —  "  miserable  ghost,  speak  or  be  silent, 
prance  or  be  still.  I  will  sacrifice  to  you  no  more 
time,  no  more  rest,  no  more  comfort,  no  more  let 
ters,  no  more  greenbacks.  I  defy  you — only,  for 
my  own  enlightenment  will  you,  in  return  for  the 
annoyance  you  have  caused  me,  in  ghostly  lan 
guage  tell  me  whether  you  go  through  this  perfor 
mance  every  night,  and  whether  you  purpose  con 
tinuing  it  till  morning  \  Three  raps  for  affirm 
ative.  One  for  denial.  Come  !  Begin  !" 

It  began,  but  not  as  I  desired.  It  was  not  a 
ghost  to  be  defied,  nor  a  spirit  to  indulge  in  tri- 
fiing  conversation,  and  it  punished  my  effrontery 
by  going  on  with  its  dreary  programme  as  though 
it  entirely  ignored  me  and  my  queries.  No  light- 
minded  rapping  responded,  but,  in  its  stead,  a 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  167 

curious  gurgling  sound  that  to  my  intent  ear 
seemed  like  the  breath  of  a  person  dying  by  slow 
suffocation. 

Yes,  it  is  true  ;  my  hair  certainly  did  uncurl, 
and  each  particular  thread  did  stand  on  end  with 
horror.  Small,  cold  claws  paced  down  iny  back, 
and  marked  off  each  spinal  vertebra  with  painful 
and  peculiar  distinctness.  My  chest  was  a  drum, 
and  my  heart  a  drum-stick  that  beat  a  double 
tattoo  with  as  much  ease  as  though  it  had  been 
two. 

I  ceased  alike  entreaties  and  defiance.  There 
were  no  more  observations  to  be  made.  I  would 
not  speak  to  the  inhabitants  of  my  own  world, 
though  the  vertebra  parted,  and  each  hair  turned 
white  where  it  stood.  I  got  into  my  bed  with  a 
desperate  determination  to  remain  there,  and  I 
remained  till  morning. 

Morning  came.  There  was  nothing  at  the  win 
dows,  nothing  at  the  door,  on  the  furniture,  be 
hind  the  furniture,  under  the  bed — nothing  in  the 
pitcher,  the  basin — nothing  anywhere  ! 

I  struck  against  the  porcelain  foot-bath,  un- 
stumbled  against  and  unremembered  the  night 
before,  and  screamed — in  a  voice  that  brought  the 
household  to  my  threshold — over  a  half -grown, 


168  A   RAGGED   REGISTER. 

half -drowned  rat,  that  was  swish,  swishing  with 
its  wretched  little  claws  up  the  concave  side  of 
the  slippery  ware  and  sliding  back  into  its  un- 
wished-for  bath  of  ten  inches  of  cold  and  mus- 
tardy- water. 

I  screamed,  but  it  was  morning.  My  reputa 
tion  for  courage  was  lost,  but  no  one  of  that 
household  has  known  of  cause  to  accuse  me  of 
superstition  unto  this  day. 

XXXIV. 

Surviving  the  infliction  and  affliction  of  my 
ghostly  visitant,  not  many  nights  later  I  thought 
mine  hour  had  come,  by  reason  of  the  tenacity  of 
one  human,  or  ^e-human  man. 

The  place  in  which  he  found  me  is  one  of  the 
delightfully  quaint  towns  that  are  strewn  all 
along  the  coast  line  of  New  England,  full  of  old- 
fashioned  streets  and  houses  and  furniture  and 
people.  Nobody  is  in  haste.  Nobody  is  guilty 
of  the  indecorum  of  noise.  The  carving  and  gild 
ing  of  picture  and  mirror  frames,  the  spindle  legs 
of  tables  and  chairs  are  ceaseless  proofs  of  the  an 
tique  propriety  and  quietude  of  the  people  ;  a 
good  strong  whiff  of  the  material  air  that  blows 
in  towns  near  at  hand,  the  emphatic  movements 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER.  169 

of  the  modern  man  and  woman,  would  send  carv 
ing  and  gilding,  backs  and  legs,  tables  and  chairs, 
into  an  indistinguishable  heap  together. 

To  the  shelter  of  one  of  these  enchanting  old 
houses  went  I.  Mahogany  door,  half  a  foot 
thick,  rivalling  in  shine  its  grinning  dragonhead 
of  a  brass  knocker.  Wide  hall  hung  with  prints 
yellowed  by  years  in  ebony  and  walnut  frames  odd 
and  old,  and  bits  of  furniture  of  such  long-past 
fashion  as  to  appear  new,  but  with  a  flavor  of 
age  about  them  that  no  imitation,  however 
admirable,  could  emulate.  Opening  on  either 
side  from  the  ample  expanse  of  the  hallway,  a 
half  dozen  rooms,  each  more  charming  than  the 
other,  with  its  china  and  pictures  and  nondescript 
articles  that  are  as  much  for  ornament  as  use,  and 
for  use  as  ornament.  The  curtains  and  carpets 
of  rooms  and  hall  and  stairway  delicious  in  the 
soft  richness  of  their  faded  hues. 

My  hostesses,  three  snowy-haired  delicate-fea 
tured,  soft-speaking,  noiseless-motioned,  slight, 
silk-clad,  dainty,  old  ladies,  served  by  two  an 
cient  and  faithful  maidens  and  one  faithful  and 
ancient  coachman,  and  "chore"  man  who  abode 
in  some  other  region. 

Into  this  sedate    and   pleasing   domicile  had 


170  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

entered  and  taken  possession  an  element  strange 
and  foreign,  a  big-bodied,  red-headed,  strident- 
voiced,  rampant  son  of  Anak,  the  President  of 

the  Lecture  Association  at ,  where  I  was  due 

in  a  few  evenings. 

This  society  and  the  society  with  which  my 
engagement  stood  for  the  following  evening,  with 
out  consulting  me,  had  quietly  exchanged  dates, 
and  were  so  good  as  to  inform  me  at  the  last  mo 
ment  of  their  little  arrangement. 

To  keep  the  appointments  in  their  original 
order  would  be  to  rest  through  an  undisturbed 
night,  leave  at  a  reasonable  season  the  next  day, 
and  travel  for  a  half  dozen  of  hours. 

To  meet  the  new  requirements  necessitated  a 
call  at  three  o'clock  in  the  morning,  a  ride  of 
forty  miles  on  a  cattle  train,  exposed  to  filth  and 
bitter  storm,  a  run  across  Boston,  breakfastless, 
to  another  train,  a  broken  ten  hours' — part  jour 
ney,  part  wait— thereafter. 

Had  I  been  guilty  of  the  folly  of  making  such 
an  engagement,  I  should  have  kept  it  though  its 
fulfilment  had  involved  a  ride  of  all  night  in 
stead  of  but  the  portion  of  one,  an  association 
with  cattle  as  well  as  the  occupancy  of  a  cattle 
box,  and  a  dinnerless  afternoon  added  to  a  break- 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER.  1?1 

fastless  morning  ;  but  as  I  had  nothing  to  do  with 
the  planning  of  the  reasonable  programme,  I  nat 
urally  declined  having  any  thing  to  do  with  its 
execution. 

In  noisy  and  affable  wise  my  strident-voiced 
friend  set  forth  his  plans  and  purposes,  and  hav 
ing  done  so,  rose  to  leave  with  the  thoughtful  an 
nouncement,  "  Give  yourself  no  uneasiness  about 
getting  off  in  time.  Til  be  sure  to  call  you. 
Loud  enough  too!  Ha!  ha!  never  fear  !  Rout 
out  the  old  ladies  at  the  same  time.  Do  'em 
good  to  give  'em  such  an  early  start.  Got  any 
orders  ?" 

"None,"  I  said,  "save  that  you  are  not  to 
come  at  all." 

"Oh,  but  I  will.  Trust  me  for  that.  You 
mightn't  be  dead  sure  to  get  awake,  you  know." 

"  I  don't  intend  to  go,  nor  to  get  awake  either," 
said  I. 

"  Of  course  you  don't,"  went  on  the  trumpet, 
"of  course  you  don't.  Women  never  do  know 
their  own  minds,  but  you'll  be  all  ready  when  the 
times,  /  know.  Now  just  listen,"  and  he  pro 
ceeded  to  re- narrate  the  whole  cheerful  and  com 
fortable  plan.  "Do  you  understand?"  blared 
he  at  its  close. 


172  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

"  Yes,"  I  answered.  "  I  am  not  an  idiot.  I 
understand  so  well  that  there  can  be  no  doubt  as 
to  my  absolute  refusal  to  have  any  thing  to  do 
with  it. 

"  My  dear,"  said  a  sweet  old  treble,  "  won't 
you  come  and  take  your  cup  of  coffee  now  ?  It 
is  getting  late.  This  gentleman, ' '  the  shadow  of 
a  shade  of  stress  on  the  word,  ' '  will  doubtless 
excuse  you." 

"  Certin,  ma'am,  certin,"  blew  the  trumpet. 
"I'm  a  plain  man.  Don't  stand  on  any  cere 
mony  with  me.  Miss  Anna  can  drink  her  coffee 
— though  coffee  isn't  wholesome — whenever  she 
wants  to,  and  I'll  just  step  out  with  her  and  set 
tle  this  little  matter  while  she's  drinking  it." 

Out  went  he  and  recited  again  his  attractive 
lesson. 

66  There  is  no  use,  sir,"  objected  I,  "in  wasting 
time  and  effort  to  induce  me  to  carry  out  a  fool 
ish  plan  in  which  I  have  had  and  will  have  no 
part.  You  have  broken  our  contract,  insulted 
me,  wronged  your  audience,  and  now  reasonably 
expect  me  to  destroy  my  comfort  and  jeopardize 
my  throat  and  voice,  and  through  them  a  dozen 
following  engagements,  to  make  good  your  folly, 
I  will  have  nothing  to  do  with  the  matter." 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  173 

uJSTow  look  here,  Miss  Anna,"  broke  in  the 
thunderous  voice,  "  there  ain't  no  use  in  your  los 
ing  your  temper.  'Tain't  becoming  in  a  young 
woman,  nor  to  a  young  woman,  and  you  might 
just  as  well  hold  your  horses.  I'll  come  round 
here  by  half -past  two  o'clock,  and  rout  you  out, 
and  you'll  have  time  to  think  better  of  it  by 
that.  Here,  Maria— that's  what  the  old  lady 
called  you,  ain't  it  ?— just  hand  me  a  cup  of 
coffee." 

The  ancient  and  faithful  serving  maiden  looked 
at  him  !  If  looks  could  kill !  Unfortunately— 
at  times  unfortunately— they  can't. 

"  Maria,"  said  the  sweet  old  treble,  with  a  lit 
tle  tremble  and  the  slightest  suggestion  of  staccato 
appearing  in  it  together — "  Maria,  if  Miss  Dickin 
son  is  through  with  the  coffee,  carry  it  to  the 
kitchen,  and  then  show  her  to  her  room." 

"Well!  that's  cool!  ha!  ha!"  roared  the 
irrepressible.  "  Ain't  inclined  to  hospitality? 
All  right.  I've  had  my  supper.  I  only  thought 
it  would  be  more  sociable  to  take  a  cup  with 
Miss  Anna  here.  Now  come,  Miss  Anna,  just 
you  listen  to  reason  ;"  and  he  fell  to  demon 
strating  it  or  its  reverse  once  more. 

"  My  dear,"    said  another  of  the  gentle  old 


174  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

ladies,  "  I  will  go  to  your  room  with  Maria,  and 
leave  tliis  person  to  Ms  own  devices." 

"  All  right,  ma'am,"  consented  our  sensitive 
friend.  "  He's  able  to  take  care  of  himself. 
Don't  mind  me"  and  the  last  seen  of  him,  as  we 
retreated,  was  of  a  face  and  figure  apparently  in 
tent  on  a  notebook  and  some  memoranda. 

He  got  out  of  the  house.  How  he  got  out  of 
the  house  I  cannot  testify,  but  that  he  went  was 
manifest  both  from  his  absence  when  I  returned 
to  the  scene  of  our  fray,  and  from  his  presence, 
big,  burly,  and  red,  on  the  front  seat  of  the  town 
hall  when  I  reached  it. 

He  was  not  a  helpful  element  in  the  audience. 
He  cheered  too  much,  and  chuckled  too  much, 
and  was  too  exasperatingly  and  conspicuously 
patronizing.  There  are  limitations  to  all  tempers, 
even  a  lyceum  lecturer's. 

I  being  done,  like  a  Jack  in  the  box  up  sprang 
fiery  head  and  began  it  all  over,  as  though  what 
he  had  to  say  contained  a  large  ingredient  not 
alone  of  good  sense  but  of  absolute  novelty. 

"  I  will  not  go,"  had  been  my  first  speech. 
My  last  was,  "  I  will  say  nothing  more  to  you." 

"  Just  as  well,"  consented  my  tormentor. 
"There  ain't  any  more  needs,  saying  as  I  see. 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  175 

I'll  be  round  for  you  at  half -past  two,  sharp,  so 
you  can  sleep  sound  as  you  please  until  then. 
Good-night,  Miss  Anna.  Good-night,  ma'am  ; 
it's  a  pity  you! II  have  to  be  'wakened  too,  but  I 
guess  it  won't  hurt  you,"  and  the  full-grown  imp 
put  a  fresh  straw  into  his  mouth,  stuck  his  hands 
into  his  outside  pockets,  and  marched  away. 

"He  will  not  dare,"  cried  the  three  gentle 
voices,  as  we  sat  about  the  friendly,  round  sup 
per-table  with  its  lavender-scented  damask,  and 
exquisite  china,  and  bountiful  old-fashioned  deli 
cacies. 

"  I  should  like  to  see  him  !"  remarked  Maria, 
in  a  tone  that  indicated  it  would  be  ill  with  the 
object  contemplated  if  her  eyes  were  forced  to 
such  inspection. 

The  dear  delight  that  followed  !  The  dear  de 
light  of  sitting  in  a  room  filled  with  an  atmos 
phere  of  sweet  content  and  quiet  goodness  and 
refinement,  permeating  and  pure  as  the  smell  of 
treasured  rose-leaves  ;  of  looking  into  the  glow 
ing  heart  of  that  friendly  companion — an  open 
fire  ;  of  hearing  tales  of  the  old,  old  time  from 
lips  that  added  a  grace  almost  pathetic  to  the 
cheerful  and  weird  stories  told  ;  of  telling  in  turn 
to  ears  that  gave  hospitable  welcome,  incident 


176  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

and  experience  of  a  life  as  foreign  to  this  life  as  a 
crowded  and  dusty  race-course  would  be  to  the 
inhabitants  of  a  peaceful  convent,  while  a  Novem 
ber  gale  blew  without,  and  the  far-off  sound  of 
the  sea  boomed  in  at  intervals,  solemn  and  grand. 

Midnight's  mystic  hour  went  by  unheeded,  and 
one  o'clock  sounded  from  the  old  clock  on  the 
stairs  before  the  clear  trebles  chorused  a  "  good 
night,  my  child,"  and  Maria,  for  the  second 
time,  carefully  marshalled  me  to  my  room,  and 
having  poked  the  fire,  and  peered  into  the  pitch 
ers,  and  given  a  shake  to  the  curtains,  and  in 
effectually  striven  to  gaze  out  into  the  storm,  re 
marked,  "  I  hope  you'll  sleep  well,"  and  added, 
with  her  hand  on  the  door  knob  and  with  an  om 
inous  shake  of  a  brass  candlestick,  "  I'd  like  to 
see  him  !" 

I  laughed,  forgot  the  annoyance  of  the  early 
evening,  dreamed  over  the  delight  that  followed, 
listened  to  the  winds  and  the  waves  and  the  tre 
mendous  voices  of  the  night,  till  I  fell  into  slum 
ber,  peaceful  and  profound. 

Was  the  house  on  fire  ?  Had  the  sea  broken  its 
bounds?  Were  all  the  floods  out  ?  Thud!  thud! 
thud  !  The  windows  rattled  !  The  room  trem 
bled  !  Had  the  end  of  time  come  ? 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  177 

No,  only  the  old  man  of  the  sea  had  risen  and 
clambered  to  Sinbad's  back  once  more. 

He  battered,  and  banged,  and  thumped,  and 
roared,  flung  stones  at  the  glass,  shook  the 
knobs,  thundered  with  the  knocker,  beat  his 
weight  against  the  door,  shouted,  apostrophized, 
yelled,  danced  a  war-dance  in  the  street,  and 
raised  a  war-whoop  through  the  air. 

Neighbors  there  were  none  near,  police  were 
afar,  or  the  disturber  of  night's  repose  might 
have  met  a  fate  he  richly  merited.  As  the  case 
stood,  he  demonstrated  till  he  was  weary,  paused 
for  breath  and  energy,  and  speedily,  all  too 
speedily  recuperated,  returned  afresh  to  his  des 
perate  deeds. 

"It  is  infamous,"  cried  I  at  last.  "  I  will  no 
longer  by  silence  consent  to  this  outrage  upon 
these  poor  little  women  and  their  peaceful  abode,' ' 
and  flew  off  my  couch  to  devise  methods  of 
vengeance,  when  a  fine,  small  voice  said, 

"  Are  you  awake,  my  dear  f 

Was  I  awake  ! 

"  Rather,"  answered  I,  sententiously  and  in 
elegantly.  "  Very  much  awake." 

"  I  hope  you  are  not  frightened,  my  child," 

chimed  in  another  sweet  old  flute. 
12 


178  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

"Don't  pay  any  attention  to  him,"  cried  a, 
companion  third.  "Don't  light  your  lamp. 
Don't  make  any  sign.  Don't  give  the  horrible 
creature  the  satisfaction  of  knowing  he  has  dis 
turbed  any  of  us." 

It  was  too  much.  I  burst  out  laughing.  "  He 
knows  we  are  not  stone  deaf,"  I  objected. 

"  Hush— sh— sh,"  breathed  a  chorus.  4<He 
might  hear  you—"  There  was  noise  enough  of 
tempest  with  his  own  uproar  to  have  drowned  the 
voice  of  a  cannon.  "Don't  let  him  hear  you.  It 
might  please  him.  Be  as  patient  as  you  can, 
dear  child.  We  will  go  back  again,"  and  the 
beneficent  white-robed  visitants  vanished. 

The  "  band  began  to  play"  and  the  "  animals 
to  perform"  anew  with  added  fervor  and  fury, 
and  continued  unweariedly.  2.45  was  called  ;  3, 
3.10,  3.15,  3.20,  3.25,  3.30.  A  cessation. 

Let  us  hope  he  is  dead,  or  has  fainted,  humanly 
and  tenderly  growled  I. 

Dead?  No.  Fainted?  No.  Even  resting? 
No.  He  had  gone  foraging,  had  captured  a  log 
of  pine  wood,  had  converted  it  into  a  battering 
ram,  and  was  again  storming  the  castle,  with  fair 
prospect,  if  not  of  success,  at  least  of  the  destruc 
tion  of  the  outer  walls  of  varnish  and  the  disfig- 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER.  170 

urement  of  the  inner  wall  of  beautiful  but  deter 
mined  wood. 

"  This  is  too  much  !"  springing  to  the  floor 
with  emphasis.  "  I  will  do  something." 

"  Hush— sh,"  came  from  the  slowly  .  opened 
door,  through  which  edged  a  tall,  spare  figure, 
dimly  descried  in  the  firelight,  turban  on,  a 
weighty  bucket  in  hand.  "  I'd  a  come  before, 
but  I  couldn't.  Sorry  to  come  through  your 
room,  but  this  gable  winder  of  yourn  looks  right 
over  the  steps,"  and,  unhurried  and  relentless  as 
fate,  Maria  moved  across  the  floor  to  the  "  gable 
winder." 

Reaching  it,  she  put  down  the  cumbersome 
bucket,  opened  the  sash  slowly  and  noiselessly, 
carefully  reconnoitred,  drew  back  with  a  nod  of 
satisfaction,  and  stooped  for  her  weapon. 

It  was  of  no  use  to  struggle.  I  laughed  again, 
but  in  a  smothered  sort  of  way,  and  gasped, 
"  Good  gracious,  Maria,  why  do  you  waste  that 
water  ?  He's  drenched  to  the  skin  already.  Not 
a  dry  thread  can  he  have  on  him — he  has  been 
capering  round  in  this  deluge  for  anjiour." 

Maria  was  not  to  be  diverted  from  her  purpose 
by  any  frivolous  talk.  The  bucket  rose — the 
bucket  rested  on  the  window  ledge — the  turbaned 


180  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

head  reconnoitred  once  again — the  bucket  tilted 
—tilted  more — emptied  with  a  swash. 

I  sat  up  to  listen. 

A  howl.  An  objurgation.  Another  howl. 
Some  stamping.  A  few  words  of  vigorous  Saxon. 
A  disorderly  retreat. 

The  sash  was  closed,  the  curtains  re-drawn.  "  I 
thought  that  kitchen  fire  never  would  burn," 
Maria  was  saying,  as  she  marched  back  with  the 
air  of  a  victor,  "  and  that  that  there  tea-kittle 
never  would  bile — but  it  did!"  She  softly 
opened  the  door.  "  I  hope,  Miss  Dickinson, 
you'll  sleep  sound  now  till  morning,"  and  as  she 
was  shutting  it,  added,  in  a  stage  aside,  "  I  said 
I'd  like  to  see  him  !"  and  was  gone. 

It  is  safe  to  say  the  entire  of  that  household 
"  slept  sound  "  till  morning,  and  sitting  down  to 
contemplate  our  nocturnal  visitor  through  the 
dispassionate  light  of  memory,  and  in  the  illu 
minating  power  of  broad  day,  we  came  to  the 
unanimous  decision  that  his  like  we  never  had 
seen,  and  hoped  never  to  see  more. 

XXXV. 

There  is  no  such  thing  as  unmitigated  disaster. 
The  man  was  responsible  for  a  deal  of  righteous 
and  some  unrighteous  wrath,  a  hideous  night,  a 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  181 

damaged  door,  a  ruptured  engagement  with  con 
sequent  loss  of  fee  ;  but  he  compelled  a  holiday  of 
a  regular  working  day,  and  so  out  of  its  very  sur 
prise  gave  me  a  pleasure,  and  through  that  pleas 
ure  I  fell  heir  unto  two  of  the  most  unalloyed  de 
lights  of  all  my  life — the  sight  of  the  sea  under  a 
cloudless  sky,  after  a  long  November  storm,  and 
my  first  feast  of  Christine  Mlsson  in  opera ! 

If  you  have  listened  to  a  many  of  fine  singers  be 
fore  Mlsson  speaks  to  your  soul,  so  much  the 
better  for  you  ;  some  gauge  has  been  furnished 
whereby  to  measure  her,  and  the  measuring  is 
soon  done. 

"  You  meaner  beauties  of  the  night, 

That  poorly  satisfy  our  eyes 
More  by  your  number  than  your  light, 

You  common  people  of  the  skies, 
What  are  you  when  the  moon  shall  rise  ?" 

"  Ye  violets  that  first  appear, 

By  your  pure  purple  mantle  known 

Like  the  proud  virgins  of  the  year, 
As  if  the  spring  were  all  your  own, 

What  are  you  when  the  rose  is  blown  ?" 

"  Ye  curious  chanters  of  the  wood 

That  warble  forth  Dame  Nature's  lays, 

Thinking  your  passions  understood 
By  your  weak  accents,  what's  your  praise, 

When  Philomel  her  voice  doth  raise  ?" 


182  A   RAGGED  EEGISTER. 

Greater  than  her  singing,  which  pierces  to  the 
heart— greater  than  her  acting,  which  surpasses 
Ristori's — is  herself.  The  woman's  supreme 
power  lies  in  what  permeates  voice  and  action. 
As  she  conies  down  to  her  audience,  moving  like 
a  beautiful,  untamed  thing  of  the  desert,  before 
she  sings  a  note  or  stirs  a  gesture,  she  conquers. 
She  has  within  the  divine  fire,  and  you  feel  its 
warmth  before  you  hear  its  flames  or  see  its  glow. 

XXXVI. 

From  New  England  to  the  District  is  a  good 
transfer  in  dismal  weather ;  though,  to  tell 
truth,  summer  or  winter,  I  always  like  to  come 
into  Washington.  Its  steady  growth  in  beauty  is 
a  delight  to  the  eye,  and  is  a  fair  promise  of  bet 
ter  things  to  come.  When,  rolling  over  the  finest 
pavements  in  America,  I  remember  the  dust 
heaps  or  sloughs  of  mud  that,  but  a  few  years 
ago,  served  for  streets,  and  mark  the  stately 
buildings  everywhere  taking  the  place  of  scare 
crow  shanties,  I  grow  a  faith  even  in  that  latter- 
day  miracle,  the  completion  of  the  Capitol. 

Indeed,  since  it  has  at  last  emancipated  itself 
from  the  tyranny  of  its  ancient  hotels,  and  has 
had  the  audacity  to  set  over  against  Willard's 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER.  183 

that  delight  of  an  inn  the  Arlington,  I  hold  to 
unlimited  belief  in  its  capacity  to  do  any  thing. 

My  last  experience,  a  good  many  years  ago,  of 
the  palatial  mansion  at  Fourteenth  Street  and 
Pennsylvania  Avenue,  consisted  of  a  climb — ele 
vators  being  regarded  as  impudent  interlopers — 
up  five  flights  of  stairs,  the  possession  of  a  room 
adorned  by  three  broken  window  panes,  a  disa 
bled  bell,  a  ragged  carpet,  one  chair  with  a  bro 
ken  back,  one  chair  with  a  rheumatic  leg,  a  wash- 
stand  not  to  be  depended  upon  without  due 
watchfulness  and  propping,  and  a  bed  that  must 
have  been  an  accurate  copy  of  some  one  of  the 
beds  inquisitorial. 

For  which  luxuries  I  was  permitted  to  pay  the 
same  sum  as  though  I  held  possession  of  "  a  par 
lor  chamber,  second  floor,  front. ' ' 

To  make  amends  for  the  isolation  to  which  I  was 
consigned  by  the  speechless  bell,  and  to  add  cheer 
to  my  already  attractive  apartment,  some  frisky 
visitors  who  have  a  proverbial  penchant  for  rags 
and  dilapidation,  proceeded  to  disport  themselves 
in  my  domain. 

Out  of  sleep  did  they  summon  me.  The  fire  in 
the  contracted  grate  having  asphyxiated,  and  the 
night  being 'cold,  a  change  of  blankets  was  a  mat- 


184  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

ter  to  be  felt.  I  felt  it.  Put  out  a  hand  to  re 
arrange  the  covering.  Re-arranged  it.  Was  fall 
ing  asleep  once  more,  was  wakened  by  a  vigorous 
tug  that  opened  my  eyes  very  wide  indeed,  and 
that  stirred  nerves  and  wrath  together,  the  first 
being  soothed,  and  the  last  receiving  augmenta 
tion  as,  in  place  of  a  burglar,  a  squeal  and  a 
squeak,  and  the  wabbling  of  feet  revealed  the 
quality  of  my  uninvited  callers. 

Complaints,  and  the  Arlington,  and  Time — that 
sure  ender,  in  some  shape,  of  all  abuses — have  at 
last  amended  even  this  huge  nuisance. 

A  nuisance,  in  spite  of  its  enormities,  dear  to 
the  memories  of  all  those  who  knew  it,  and  its 
crowds,  its  sights  and  sounds,  through  the  tre 
mendous  days  of  the  war. 

XXXVII. 

I  wish  Washington  would  speak  out  in  a  good 
vigorous  way,  what  I  have  heard  said  quietly 
whenever  I  have  been  there — a  protest  against  the 
annual  howl  of  the  outside  papers  and  people 
about  the  ' i  female  clerks, ' '  their  sins  of  omission 
and  commission,  and  the  total  depravity  of  which 
their  appointments  stand  as  indices. 

There  seems  to  be  a  wide-spread  impression  that 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER,  185 

these  clerks  are  all  young,  handsome,  and  indo 
lent,  that  the  places  filled  by  them  are  silken 
sinecures,  and  that  the  pay  received  is  one  to 
allow  gilded  splendor  of  abode  and  dress  to  its 
fortunate  receiver. 

As  far  as  my  observation  has  extended,  and  it 
has  not  been  limited,  there  must  be  some  crack 
ing  of  ingenuity,  or  attenuation  of  comfort  by 
these  gay  and  ease-loving  damsels,  to  "make 
both  ends  meet." 

Sensible,  self-respecting,  and  industrious  girls  ; 
tired  and  sorrowful-looking  women,  some  wid 
ows,  many  of  them  with  children  clinging  about 
their  knees. 

Out  of  fifty-five  women  picked  at  random  into 
whose  estate  I  questioned,  I  found  but  eight  who 
were  not  only  their  own  providers,  but  the  soli 
tary  stay  of  one  or  more  helpless  lives. 

Many  of  these  are  the  widows  and  orphans  of 
men  dead  in  battle. 

c  c  That  is  no  reason, ' '  say  some  of  these  papers 
and  people,  "  why  the  government  departments 
should  be  converted  into  dispensaries  for  their 
needs. ' '  No  ;  but  it  is  an  added  reason  why  wo  - 
men  who  are  not  paupers,  who  honestly  earn 
every  penny  they  receive,  should  be  freed  from 


186  A  RAGGED  REGISTER 

indecent  slander  by  the  lips  of  persons  who  know 
nothing  about  them,  save  that  they  have  been 
left  stripped  and  desolate  for  the  public  weal. 

Also  it  would  be  well  for  sapient  reasoners, 
who  demonstrate  that  a  woman  ought  not  to  be 
engaged  by  the  government,  simply  because  she 
is  a  woman  and  in  want  of  work,  at  the  same  time 
to  make  clear  that  being  engaged  she  ought  not 
to  be  paid  as  a  woman  but  as  a  worker.  Her 
capacity  and  not  her  sex  should  be  the  criterion 
of  her  compensation. 

I  know  in  these  departments  of  girls  and 
women  who  are  doing  the  like  work  as  that  done 
by  men,  equally  well,  in  some  cases  better,  they 
being  paid  from  six  hundred  to  nine  hundred  dol 
lars  a  year — the  men  receiving  from  twelve  hun 
dred  to  three  thousand  dollars. 

I  can  put  my  finger  on  one  woman  who  is  at 
the  head  of  a  department  in  which  are  collected 
papers  and  books  in  manuscript  by  thousands, 
upon  any  one  of  which,  at  a  moment's  notice,  she 
can  place  her  hand.  From  all  parts  of  the  build 
ing  men  come  to  her  for  information.  She  has 
the  supervision  of  two  rooms  and  of  sixty  girls. 
She  earns  three  thousand  dollars  ;  she  is  paid 
nine  hundred  dollars  a  year. 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER.  187 

For  her  tact,  skill,  executive  ability,  business 
knowledge  and  training,  this  woman  gains  no 
more  than  the  girl  who  sorts  and  cuts  currency  in 
the  next  room. 

A  young  girl  of  whom  I  know,  a  skilled  lin 
guist,  who  has  state  papers  to  translate,  often  in 
such  numbers  as  to  compel  her  to  write  over- 
hours  and  at  home,  not  long  since  was  called  to 
the  desk  of  a  young  man  to  straighten  out  the 
work  he  had  hopelessly  tangled,  and  did  the  diffi 
cult  task  to  perfection.  Incompetency,  idleness, 
favoritism,  and  man  secured  two  thousand  dollars 
a  year  ;  brains,  culture,  hard  work  and  woman 
were  paid  with  nine  hundred. 

Such  women  as  these  carry  sufficient  weight 
without  the  addition  of  the  monstrous  accusation 
that  their  presence  is  the  proof  of  immorality  in 
the  public  departments. 

People  make  light  estimate  of  the  purity  they 
profess  to  hold  an  essential  attribute  of  woman, 
or  they  confess  for  her  an  awful  state  of  destitu 
tion  when  they  so  readily  concede,  without  in 
vestigation,  that  she  will  sell  herself,  body  and 
soul,  for  six  hundred  dollars  a  year. 

For  the  others,  if  there  be  any  others,  I  do  not 
see  how  the  cause  of  morality  is  to  be  damaged 


188  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

by  their  earning  of  some  honest  wage  for  honest 
work,  nor  how  that  of  virtue  is  to  be  served  by 
dismissal  and  consignment  to  the  results  of  idle 
ness  and  want. 

And  if  any  one  says,  as  many  are  addicted  to 
saying,  that  by  their  contact  other  women  are  in 
sulted  and  contaminated,  I  answer  that  I  cannot 
see  how  these  others  can  be  hurt  by  sight  and 
sound  of  questionable  women,  more  than  by  the 
presence  and  association  of  the  ^/^questionable  im  n 
who  are  responsible  for  their  appointments — men 
who  are  not  expected  to  resign  their  authority 
nor  to  renounce  their  honors  and  emoluments, 
and  about  whom,  in  this  connection  at  least,  peo 
ple  do  not  feel  called  upon  to  express  an  opinion. 

There  is  a  homely  but  wholesome  proverb  con 
cerning  the  sex  of  geese  and  "  sauce"  for  the 
same,  that  I  would  commend  to  the  consideration 
of  some  inconsistent  and  over-nice  censors  of  pub 
lic  and  private  morals. 

XXXVIII. 

Also,  it  will  apply,  equally  well,  to  work,  its 
honors  and  compensations. 

I  remember  looking  at  a  certain  statue, 
mounted  at  the  Capital  and  remarking,  "  As  it 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  180 

stands  it  is  a  monument  to  the  incompetency  of 
one  woman  and  the  folly  of  some  men." 

One  of  the  men  who  had  voted  for  the  appro 
priation  that  put  it  there  answered,  "  You  are 
doing  what  you  accuse  men  of  doing — abusing 
your  sex. ' ' 

"  How  so  V '  said  I.  "  Is  it  the  foolish  men,  or 
the  incompetent  woman,  or  the  awkward  statue 
that  is  the  sex  abused  ?  I  have  been  expressing 
my  opinion  of  all  of  these. " 

"  I  mean  the  young  lady  who  made  it.  How 
can  you,  who  profess  to  be  a  friend  to  your  sex, 
be  so  harsh  to  it  and  its  work  ?"  he  answered. 

"  As  far  as  I  know,"  said  I,  "  my  sex  did  not 
make  that  statue  ;  I  am  sure  that  even  of  Ameri 
cans  Miss  Hosmer  did  not,  nor  Miss  Whitney,  nor 
Miss  Gibson,  nor  yet  the  sum  total  of  the  millions 
of  other  women  known  and  unknown  to  fame. 

' i  Concerning  its  being  the  work  of  a  woman  I 
no  more  condemn  my  sex  by  saying  it  is  a  fail- 
are,  than  I  condemn  your  sex  by  saying  that  tJiat 
statue,"  pointing  to  a  monstrosity,  "  or  that  that 
picture,"  indicating  a  daub,  each  bits  of  mascu 
line  handicraft,  "is  as  hideous  as  it  ought  to  be 
beautiful  to  be  allowed  space  in  this  Rotunda." 

"  Oh,"  cried  another  of  the  chivalric  and  hon- 


19°  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

orable  gentlemen,  "  I  am  too  gallant  to  measure 
a  woman's  work  in  that  way.  I  must  like  and 
praise  the  work  because  it  is  done  by  a  lady." 

"  '  Gallant '  ?  That  is  what  you  call  it  2  To 
my  mind  the  praise  of  a  woman's  work,  because 
it  is  a  woman's,  is  an  insult." 

An  hour  later  I  was  listening  to  a  speech  that 
Knott  of  Kentucky  was  making  on  the  floor  of 
the  House— a  vulgar,  ribald  speech  ,  almost  every 
member  was  out  of  his  seat,  crowded  about  him. 
The  Speaker  leaned  back  in  his  chair,  with  idle 
gavel,  while  these  dignified  Representatives 
shouted  and  roared,  and  poked  one  another  in 
the  ribs,  and  then  roared  and  shouted  again  over 
the  disgusting  display,  the  two  gallant  gentle 
men  of  the  past  controversy  being  specially  con 
spicuous  for  their  almost  frantic  delight,  espe 
cially  when  Knott,  in  discoursing  of  some  law- 
abiding  citizens,  who  desired  to  be  represented  by 
ballot  as  well  as  by  taxes,  told  of  these  "  dam- 
sells  who  wish  the  right  to  smoke,  chew,  swear, 
drink  cocktails,  and  ride  astraddle." 

"  Gentlemen,"  thought  I,  as  I  watched,  "  a  lit 
tle  less  adulation  of  the  '  sex,'  if  you  please,  and 
a  little  more  respect  for  woman." 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  191 

XXXIX. 

Since  I  desired  to  think  well  of  my  brethren,  I 
was  glad  to  find  myself  in  the  evening  at  the 
house  of  that  noblest  of  men  and  finest  of  gentle 
men,  Charles  Sumner,  who,  among  other  right 
speakings,  always  had  the  courage  to  tell  the 
truth  in  behalf  of  art  without  consideration  of 
favoritism  in  men,  or  sex  in  women.  If  Congress 
had  delegated  to  him  the  task  of  ornamenting  the 
Capitol,  it  could  boast  a  display  of  fine  arts  in 
deed. 

His  house  was  too  small  for  the  treasures  he 
had  collected.  The  hall,  on  the  one  hand  open 
ing  into  the  drawing-room,  on  the  other  to  the 
library  and  dining-room,  and  the  stairway  of 
black  walnut  were  papered  by  rare  engravings. 

Below,  the  rooms,  connected  by  folding  doors, 
had  the  expansive  effect  of  one  noble  apartment. 
At  the  right,  the  drawing-room,  showing  a  lovely 
Wilton  carpet,  its  chief  color  an  exquisite  blue, 
the  curtains  and  hangings  a  delicious  amber.  The 
pictures,  masterpieces,  all  save  one — a  freak  of  his 
—the  chromo  of  Whittier's  "  Barefoot  Boy."  The 
china,  carrying  an  aroma  of  palaces,  of  great  value 
and  .wonderful  beauty. 


192  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

On  one  side,  the  library-doors  crowded  with  en 
gravings  of  horses  and  horses'  heads.  "  I  never 
owned  a  horse,"  said  he,  "  but  here  is  my  stable. 
Who  can  equal  it  'C '  The  other  side  was  covered 
with  likenesses  of  the  most  famous  gateways  and 
doorways,  ancient  and  modern. 

The  walls  and  mantle  packed  with  curious  and 
beautiful  bronzes  and  paintings,  even  the  floor 
about  the  walls,  supporting  pictures  that  else 
could  find  no  resting-place.  Indeed  the  room  was 
so  overcrowded  with  beauty  as  to  lose  beauty,  but 
the  dining-room  was  perfection,  the  colors  so  rich 
as  to  be  fruity,  a  Turkish  table-cover,  wonderful 
glass  and  china,  and  carved  things  and  superb 
paintings  all  in  absolute  harmony. 

His  study,  his  "  den"  as  he  called  it,  always 
interested  me,  as  it  must  have  interested  any  one 
who  had  the  happiness  to  enter  it,  more  than  any 
other  room  in  the  house.  At  the  head  of  the 
stairway,  on  the  second  floor,  adjoining  his  sleep 
ing-room,  heaped  and  jammed  with  books  and 
papers,  on  tables,  shelves,  chairs,  the  floor  itself 
with  scarce  space  for  one  to  turn.  Here  he  really 
lived,  and  you,  who  looked  at  it,  realized  what  a 
hard  worker  was  its  master. 

Here  he  had  gathered  the  rarest  collection  of 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  193 

framed  engravings  in  America,  the  careful  accu 
mulation  of  a  lifetime.  In  this  country  no  one 
else  owned  such  portraits  and  such  proofs,  many 
of  them  carrying  the  autographs  of  both  painter 
and  engraver. 

To  two  of  these  he  called  my  close  attention. 
One,  a  delicate  high-bred  face,  that  of  a  German 
noble  and  patriot  who  long  ago  was  in  prison, 
condemned  to  die  ;  the  other,  that  of  the  wife 
who,  with  great  skill  and  through  much  suffering, 
rescued  him — a  strong,  homely,  heroic  face  was 
hers.  He  went  up  to  it,  and  looking  at  it  in  an 
indescribable  way,  said,  "  I  like  to  have  her  here. 
I  like  to  look  at  her,  to  remember  how  brave  and 
strong  and  unselfish  she  was,  of  what  she  was  to 
him.  What  a  friend  !  what  a  friend  !  Ah,  how 
much  more  than  beauty,  or  even  genius,  is  char 
acter" 

It  was  said  as  though  he  were  thinking  aloud, 
rather  than  speaking  to  any  one,  and  with  an  in 
drawn,  unconscious  sigh  that  pierced  like  a  knife. 

When  I  went  away  I  felt  as  I  always  felt,  since 
first,  an  overgrown  school-girl,  I  beheld  him,  and 
shall  always  feel  when  I  think  of  him,  as  though 
I  had  been  breathing  the  air  of  the  mountain  top, 

and  had  heard  a  voice  from  the  skies. 
13 


194  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

Well  I  know,  if  it  was  rest  he  needed,  he  has 
gained  it.  If  nobler  work,  that  he  has  found  it, 
with  quickened  and  immortal  powers. 

XL. 

I  often  hear  people  surmise  that  a  Washington 
audience  must  be  one  specially  difficult  to  please. 
On  the  contrary,  it  hears  so  much  bad  speaking 
as  to  have  grown  tolerant  of  bad  speaking,  and 
knows  how  to  appreciate  and  make  much  of  the 
good. 

A  little  country  town  that  listens  to  about  three 
"  demonstrations"  a  year,  even  Demosthenes 
would  fail  to  satisfy. 

"  I  liked  him  very  well,"  said  to  me  one  of 
these  village  magnates,  speaking  of  Mr.  Beecher, 
who  had  shone  upon  his  community  the  week 
previous  ;  "  yes,  I  liked  him  very  well,  but  he 
wasn't  so  energetic  as  I  expected  to  find  him." 

He  was  own  cousin,  I  suspect,  to  a  man  against 
whom  I  stumbled  a  few  days  later,  who  was  com 
plaining  that  "  Mark  Twain  had  been  a  great  dis 
appointment  to  him." 

"  Incredible,"  objected  I. 

"Oh    yes;    he    was,"    asseverated    the  man. 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  195 

"  He  was  neither  so  solid  nor  so  serious -minded 
as  I  had  supposed." 

And  Tie  must  have  been  twin-brother  to  a  wo 
man  whose  orbit  I  one  day  touched  in  travelling 
to  Cleveland. 

"  I  couldn't  help  laughing  out  loud,"  I  was 
saying  to  the  friend  beside  me  to  whom  I  was 
narrating  some  absurdity,  when  this  woman 
turned,  skewered  me  with  her  sepulchral  eye, 
and  demanded,  "Laugh?  Did  I  hear  you  say 
you  laughed?  Why,  I  thought  you  never 
smiled.  How  can  you  pretend  to  be  in  earn 
est,  in  this  world  of  sin  and  sorrow,  and  yet 
laugh  r" 

"  I  beg  your  pardon,  madam,"  said  I.  "  I  do 
not  at  all  doubt  if  I  could  live  for  a  reasonable 
length  of  time  under  your  wholesome  influence,  I 
would  be  cured  of  such  frivolity." 

She  ought  to  be  transferred  to  the  congenial 
soil  of .  You  can  guess  the  town. 

It  I  reached  at  six  P.M.,  found  the  inn 
burned,  and  was  carried,  protesting,  to  the  house 
of  one  of  the  college  dons,  "where,"  I  was  as 
sured,  I  should  ' '  have  all  the  freedom  as  well  as 
all  the  comforts  of  a  hotel." 

Supper  was  on  the  table.     Supper  I  wanted 


196  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

none,  but  was  desired  to  sit  at  the  board,  and  so 
heard  what  I  had  never  before  heard,  a  grace  be 
fore  meat,  of  seven  minutes  in  length.  The  meat 
being  eaten,  I  listened  to  what  I  had  never  be 
fore  listened — abbreviated  or  lengthy — thanks  re 
turned  after  meat. 

Having  talked  for  a  while,  vanished  to  my 
room,  and  returned  in  battle  array  for  the  even 
ing,  I  halted  in  the  dining-room  for  a  cup  of 
coffee  and  raw  egg,  small  private  flask  in  hand. 

A  suspicious  glance.  An  ominous  silence. 
Then  the  query, 

"  Does  that  flask  hold  alcoholic  stimulant — 
brandy  perhaps,  or  wine  f 

Inwardly  chattering,  but  outwardly  bold,  since 
I  knew  I  couldrft  swallow  the  raw  egg  without 
the  sherry,  I  strove  to  placate  my  formidable  host 
with  a  feeble  joke. 

"  If  you  please,  sir,  it  is  not  very  wicked — 
nothing  worse  than  essence  of  grape." 

"Ah,"  said  the  great  man,  relaxing,  "essence 
of  grape  ?  Very  well,  very  well.  I  feared  it  was 
wine  or  some  kindred  abomination,"  and  that 
settled  I  was  allowed  to  swallow  my  coffee 
and  egg  and  essence  of  grape,  but  not  until  mine 
host  had  spared  me  the  trouble  of  silent  or  pri- 


A   RAGGED   REGISTER.  197 

vate  thankfulness  by  the  kindly  intervention  of  a 
lengthy  grace  spoken  in  my  behalf. 

Went  to  the  hall  in  a  subdued  frame  of  mind, 
meditating  whether  it  would  not  be  advisa 
ble  to  omit  the  mild  provocatives  to  laughter 
that  here  and  there  cropped  out  on  the  surface  of 
an  otherwise  serious  discourse,  and  was  sure  of 
the  right  path  when  not  the  President  of  the  Stu 
dent's  Lecture  Association,  but  the  "  Presiding 
Officer  of  the  Meeting,"  in  place  of  an  introduc 
tion,  offered  a  prayer  of  twenty-seven  minutes  as 
marked  by  the  clock  ticking  in  full  view,  in  the 
course  of  which  he  besought  that  c '  this  young 
woman  might  be  brought  to  see  that  no  temporal 
prosperity,  nor  even  the  accomplishment  of  seem 
ing  good,  justified  her  in  an  open  defiance  of  the 
ordinances  of  God,  and  the  divinely  appointed 
sphere  of  her  sex,"  whatever  that  may  mean. 

The  iniquitous  show  of  the  evening  ended, 
its  pernicious  effects  were  removed  from  every 
body's  memory  by  another  petition,  and  the  sing 
ing  of  Old  Hundred  dismally  out  of  time  and 
tune. 

When  I  reached  home  I  was  in  no  mood  for 
religious  exercises,  a  fact  probably  patent  to  my 
host,  for  I  had  grace  said,  in  my  behalf,  over  my 


198  A  RAOOED  REGISTER. 

supper  and  thanks  returned  when  I  had  com 
pleted  the  demolition  of  the  viands  set  before  me, 
after  which  I  was  summoned,  willy  nilly,  to  fam 
ily  prayers,  and  gained  my  room  in  a  frame  of 
mind  that  boded  ill  to  my  furniture. 

Improved  the  next  day,  when,  tired  and  but 
half  rested,  I  was  summoned  from  refreshing 
slumber  to  appear  by  candle-light  at  morning 
prayers,  a  summons  which  I  neglected,  and 
turned  my  burning  head  for  ' '  a  little  more 
sleep/'  but  was  speedily  cured  of  the  delusion 
that  I  should  enjoy  any  by  the  piping  of  a  small 
voice  at  my  door  to  the  effect  that  "  Pa  wishes  to 
know  if  you  are  not  ready  ?' ' 

"  No,  my  dear,"  called  I  in  return,  "not  near 
ready.  Ask  him  not  to  wait  for  me." 

Patter,  patter  of  small  feet  down  the  stairs. 
Tramp,  tramp  of  large  feet  up  the  stairs,  through 
the  hall.  Halt  at  the  door.  Summons.  Procla 
mation  :  "  You  will  greatly  oblige  us  if  you  will 
come  down  soon  as  possible.  It  is  a  rule  from 
which  I  never  deviate,  to  have  every  member  of 
my  household,  unless  prostrated  by  sickness,  at 
family  prayers." 

"  Mercifully,  I  am  not  a  member  of  your  house 
hold,"  mumbled  I,  but  was  too  wrathy  to  again 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  199 

find  oblivion,  and  when  in  course  of  time  I  ap 
peared  below  stairs,  lo,  the  assembled  family  por 
tentously  frowning  and  the  Christian  (?)  services 
were  awaiting  me.  After  which  we  had  grace, 
breakfast  and  thanks,  and  I  went  my  way  to  the 
cars  with  the  distinct  impression  that  I  had  seen 
a  deal  of  desecration  of  sacred  things. 

Likewise  it  struck  me  that  it  would  be  well  if 
some  people  would  allow  other  people  the  privi 
lege  of  obeying  the  scriptural  injunction  of  work 
ing  out  one's  own  salvation. 

XLI. 

My  consolation  was  found  in  posting  into  Chi 
cago,  as  I  always  do,  if  I  am  within  a  Saturday 
night' s  ride  of  it,  to  hear  Robert  Colly er. 

To  sit  and  listen  to  him,  to  sit  and  look  at  him 
while  you  listen  to  the  great  heart  beating 
through  his  words,  is  to  sit  in  a  June  sunshine 
and  enjoy  the  peace  of  God. 

He  is  like  the  sea,  inspiring  to  great  thought, 
great  feeling,  great  resolve,  yet  widening  to  still 
ness  and  calm. 

The  fret  and  fever  of  toil,  the  impatience  for 
results,  the  eagerness  to  gather  before  the  seed  is 


200  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

fairly  planted,  the  demand  for  the  end  from  the 
beginning  one  by  one  die  out  in  you,  and  you  are 
content  to  do  whatsoever  your  hand  finds  to  do 
with  your  migJit,  and  leave  results  to  God. 

It  is  well  for  those  who  believe  that  perfection 
consists  in  absolute  ignorance  of  life  and  its  expe 
riences  to  heed  him  :  "I  pray  not  that  thou 
shouldst  take  them  out  of  the  world,  but  that 
thou  shouldst  keep  them  from  the  evil."  We  are 
here,  says  this  clear  voice,  to  struggle  with  winds 
and  tides,  and  ofttimes  bear  some  bufferings  and 
suffer  their  results,  since  we  are  here  to  be  edu 
cated,  and  education  results  from  struggle. 

It  is  a  good  thing  for  selfish  or  idle  people  to 
hear  his  trumpet-call  to  the  field  where  all  brave 
souls  and  true  have  battle  to  wage,  in  one  sort  or 
another,  for  the  right.  And  it  is  even  better 
for  those  who  think  not  that  "  God  is  a  good 
worker,  but  loves  to  be  helped,"  but  that  they 
must  do  all  his  work  for  Him,  or  perdition  will 
ensue,  to  take  a  sense  of  the  broad,  steady,  even, 
unfretted,  and  unfretting  power  this  man  brings 
to  his  labor. 

As  I  listened  to  him  that  day  there  came  to  me 
the  fragment  of  a  verse,  seen  somewhere,  and 
almost  forgotten : 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER.  201 

"  But  while  the  helping  hand,  the  guiding  brain 

Are  fully  wrought, 
And  while  the  tears  that  fall  for  others'  pain 

Are  seeds  of  thought- 
Leave  to  a  deeper  love  the  tears  of  care 

Thou  canst  not  dry  ; 
Be  tranquil.     To  tranquillity  add  prayer, 

But  no  vain  sigh. 
Strength  always  grappling  with  all  human  woes 

Soon  loses  breath ; 
But  strength  requickened  by  divine  repose 

Endures  till  death. 

From  church,  to  dinner  in  that  dear  home  of  his 
which  has  the  mellow  richness  of  ripe  October, 
with  the  blessed  "  mother"  and  the  grand  good 
children,  and  a  hospitality  reaching  both  body  and 
soul — a  hospitality  that  rests  and  refreshes, 
reposes  and  warms. 

After  dinner  came  in  that  jewel  of  a  girl  Kate 
Field.  She  was  taking  lessons  in  western  dis 
tances  and  experiences,  and  we  compared  notes 
upon  these  and  kindred  affairs,  and  at  parting  I 
wished  her  God  speed  with  my  heart,  if  my  lips 
failed  to  gush  over  her.  She  is  so  full  of  energy 
and  will,  so  determined  to  succeed  spite  of  slight 
frame  and  protesting  nerves  and  muscles,  so  am 
bitious  of  noble  work  and  place  in  defiance  of 
fatigue  and  obstacles,  and  it  is  all  so  plainly 
marked  on  her  ! 


202  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

Witty,  pungent,  concise  of  speech,  abrupt  of 
manner,  hating  shams  with  a  royal  hatred. 

With  beautiful  brown  eyes  that  penetrate  deep 
while  they  reveal  depths,  and  firm  mouth  that 
dominates  the  delicate  face  and  seems  to  say  to 
it,  and  to  any  wearying  and  weakness  that  lie  be 
hind  it :  Advance  !  you  have  your  work  to  do, 
your  plan  set  to  accomplish  ;  do  and  accomplish 
them. 

In  the  afternoon  along  happened  Frederick 
Douglass,  delighting  our  eyes  by  the  sight  of  his 
leonine  head  and  majestic  presence,  and  our  ears 
by  his  rich  and  eloquent  talk. 

He  has  a  "gift"  that  way  !  There  be  those 
who  are  rare  talkers  and  yet  no  speech-mak 
ers,  and  there  be  orators  who  are  any  thing  but 
successful  conversationalists,  but  fortune  has  here 
duplicated  her  gifts. 

When  you  listen  to  his  fiery  denunciations  and 
impassioned  appeals  from  the  platform,  you 
gather  no  conception  of  the  wit,  the  observation, 
the  satire,  the  pathos,  the  quaintness  that  fill  his 
familiar  discourse.  What  store  of  anecdote,  what 
fund  of  humor  has  he  not  gathered  from  the 
knowledge  and  discipline  of  life  ! 

And  what  a  life  ! 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER.  203 

The  afternoon  slipped  away,  all  too  quickly, 
and,  like  all  things,  good  and  bad,  found  an 
end,  but,  unlike  most  good  things,  an  end  satis 
factory,  for  when  evening  came,  and  supper, 
wasn't  there  "  a  pretty  dish  to  set  before  a  king  !" 
Somebody  with  more  melody  in  him  than  all  the 
throats  of  all  the  birds  could  sing  :  Bret  Harte, 
who  was  halting  at  Chicago  in  his  flitting  from 
the  Pacific  to  the  Atlantic  Sea. 

He  is  satisfying — that  is  the  word  for  him. 
One  thinks  all  sorts  of  thoughts  about  men  and 
women  who  have  accomplished  wonders  of  some 
kind,  and  are  disappointed  at  sight.  Not  so 
here.  You  say  this  is  the  man  to  have  written 
those  stories  and  sketches  full  of  pathos  and 
power. 

In  manner  he  is  very  quiet.  As  you  watch  him 
you  see  he  knows,  as  genius  always  knows,  in  a 
steady  unpretentious  fashion,  its  own  worth.  He 
says  rare  things  in  a  clear  rich  voice,  and  he 
laughs  a  mellow  sort  of  laugh  that  is  yet  not  gay. 
The  man  has  looked  at  life  and  knows  it,  and  has 
carried  some  of  its  burthens.  That  is  plain  to  be 
seen. 

Watching  him,  there  came  to  my  remembrance 
a  critique  published  in  a  wise  Eastern  magazine  : 


204  A  LAGGED  REGISTER. 

"We  suppose  that  women  would  not  generally 
find  his  stories  amusing  or  touching.  .  .  .  He 
does  not  touch  any  of  the  phases  of  vice  or  virtue 
which  seem  to  touch  women.  We  think  it 
probable  that  none  but  a  man  would  care  for  the 
portrait  of  such  a  gambler  as  Mr.  John  Oakhurst, 
or  would  discover  the  cunning  touches  with  which 
it  is  done  in  its  blended  shades  of  good  and  evil, 
and  a  man  only  could  relish  the  rude  pathos  of 
Tennessee's  partner,  and  of  those  poor,  bewildered 
sinful  souls,  the  Duchess  and  Mother  Ship- 
ton." 
Remembering,  I  laughed  to  myself  softly  as  I 

thought  of  how cried  over  the  ' '  Luck, ' '  and  of 

how  long sat  still  by  that  tombstone  that  was 

the  "deuce  of  clubs,"  and found  an  elo 
quence  surpassing  the  music  of  Amphion's  lyre 
in  the  speech  of  "  Tennessee's  Pardner,"  and  — 
night  after  night  took  the  whole  motly  company 
to  bed  with  her,  thrusting  them  under  her  pillow, 
that  she  might  again  and  again  feast  with  them 
before  she  drank  her  morning  coffee.  And  if 
these  were  so  drawn  by  their  "unlikes,"  what 
shall  be  said  of  the  throng  of  nameless  women 
who,  I  know,  have  read  these  pages  with  eager 
eyes  and  blistered  them  with  tears. 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  205 

With  reason.  For  here  is  a  great  pitiful  heart 
that  is  not  alone  generous  to  his  own  sex,  but  is 
just  to  both  men  and  women. 

He  has  the  courage  to  preach  a  gospel  of  equal 
ity.  "Kentuck,"  dirty  and  disreputable,  drifts 
away  to  the  unknown  sea  holding  the  innocent 
baby  in  his  arms,  and  the  "  Duchess"  dies  in  the 
embrace  and  pillowed  upon  the  breast  of  a  girl  as 
ignorant  of  harm  as  the  blessed  little  one. 

And  see  what  those  outcasts  were  capable  of 
doing — Higgles  for  Jim,  the  Duchess  and  Mother 
Shipton  for  Piney,  Sandy's  cast-off  mistress  for 
her  son. 

And  what  a  lesson  in  the  Idyl !  This  pure  girl 
taking  to  her  breast  the  sin- stricken  one,  adopting 
her  boy,  abandoning  the  man  who  rightly  belongs 
to  another. 

Not  much  of  orthodox  society  plan  here  ! 

She  should  have  cried  to  the  woman,  "  I  am 
holier  than  thou,"  refused  to  work  good  for  the 
child  through  his  mother's  sin-bought  gold,  left 
him  to  be  branded  with  her  shame  till  he  lost  it 
in  his  own — in  prison  or  on  the  gallows. 

And  have  married  Sandy  to  regenerate  him. 

Mr.  Harte  !  Mr.  Harte  !  you  are  an  iconoclast. 
Where  did  you  find  such  ideas  ?  Are  you  in 


200  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

polite  society  ?  and  who  is  .your  pastor  ?  I  am 
afraid  you  have  had  no  better  teaching  than  the 
Sermon  on  the  Mount,  and  no  better  teacher  than 
our  blessed  Lord. 

Well,  I  am  glad  to  remember  that  day  and  its 
companions,  and  that  they  and  it  belong  at  Chi 
cago — Chicago  always  seeming  to  me  to  have  the 
actual  personality  of  a  human  being  of  whom  one 
can  be  fond. 

XLII. 

Did  I  know  it  before  the  fire  ?  Yes,  and  fell  in 
love  with  it,  and  have  had  a  tenderer  feeling  for 
it  ever  since  it  underwent  that  fiery  baptism. 

Did  I  see  it  burn  \  No.  But  had  my  sorrow 
ful  gaze  at  it  presently  thereafter.  Let  me  see- 
somewhere  there  is  a  letter  I  wrote  on  the  spot. 
Yes,  here  it  is.  You  can  read  it,  while  I  look  at 
these  Illinois  prairies.  No  matter  about  the  first 
of  it — 'tis  a  home  letter  and  holds  personal  affairs 
—there — that  is  the  place  to  begin : 

I  drove  over  to  the  east  side,  where  I  was  to 
speak,  in  an  open  carriage,  and  so  contemplated  a 
part  of  the  burnt  district,  and  could  not  realize 
that  I  was  in  this  country,  and  belonged  to  this 
age. 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  207 

The  moon,  a  crescent  moon,  liad  risen  and  gave 
its  insufficient  light  to  the  scene. 

Up  and  down  and  across,  far  as  the  eye  could 
reach,  nothing  but  gray  ruins.  Not  a  sidewalk, 
not  a  street  light,  not  a  living  soul  in  sight  for 
blocks  together,  not  a  single  pedestrian. 

No  smoke,  no  smell  of  smoke  or  soot,  no  debris 
nor  waste  matter  clogging  the  streets,  no  gaping 
windows  and  doorways,  no  toppling  walls,  none 
of  the  ordinary  marks  of  fire. 

A  bit  of  wall  standing  here,  a  chimney  base 
there,  and  few  of  these.  Queer,  grotesque, 
pathetic-looking  shapes,  precisely  like  the  views 
we  have  of  Rome  or  of  some  other  old-time  city 
fallen  not  by  speedy  flames,  but  wearing  decay. 
It  is  as  though  this  place  had  lived  and  died  and 
left  these  scant  memorials  thousands  of  years 
ago. 

When  I  came  into  the  church  I  felt  like  a  ghost 
that  had  been  wandering  through  tombs,  and  in 
deed  the  people,  though  they  were  certainly  liv 
ing  beings,  and  modern  looking  of  dress  and  face, 
did  not  remove  the  sense  of  gloom. 

The  church  is  a  vast  one,  and  it  was  very  full, 
and  the  people — that  friendly,  helpful  Chicago 
audience — seemed  glad  to  see  me  ;  but  there  was 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

an  indescribable  something  in  the  house  that  one 
feels  in  a  dwelling  place  where  some  one  is  lying 
dead,  and  though  I  stuck  close  to  the  subject  mat 
ter  of  my  speech,  and  they  tenaciously  followed 
it,  the  effort  was  like  that  of  a  sorrowing  friend  to 
help  those  sorely  bereaved,  in  their  effort  to  talk 
bravely  about  ordinary  and  foreign  themes, 
while  there  is  in  the  hearts  of  all  the  woeful 
consciousness  of  that  open  grave. 

At  last  I  broke  down  and  spoke  of  what  my 
heart  was  full — Chicago  and  Chicago's  loss, 
and  Chicago's  heroism  and  generosity — spe 
cially  of  this  last,  and  its  sublime  display, 
when,  burned,  stripped,  homeless,  the  past 
wiped  out,  the  future  a  blank,  the  present  an 
agony,  it  took  of  the  first  help  that  reached 
it  from  the  eager  outside  world,  and  sent  it 
to  the  people  of  Wisconsin  and  Michigan  in 
even  sorer  straits  and  desolation,  and  tried  to 
say  in  some  shape  what  Tom  Hood  has  said  in 
perfect,  shape,  that,  £ '  the  charity  that  plenty 
spares  to  poverty  is  human  and  earthly,  but  it 
becomes  divine  and  heavenly  when  suffering  gives 
to  want,"  and  to  tell  them  what  men  and  women 
elsewhere  thought  of  the  act  and  of  them.  I 
thought  that  my  time  too  had  come  to  die,  and 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  209 

that  we  would  all  be  drowned  and  swept  away 
together.  Such  crying  I  never  did  see  in  any 
audience,  and  yet  crying  that  must  have  done 
good  to  those  hot  dry  eyes  and  overstrained 
nerves  and  brains. 

After  it  was  over,  still  half  blind  and  strangled, 
I  drove  back  through  this  city  of  the  silent,  and 
saw  not  a  sign  of  life  save  two  flitting  foot-pas 
sengers,  and  the  red  light  of  a  solitary  street-car 
creeping  along.  It  startled  me,  this  twenty-year 
old  invention  in  the  midst  of  seeming  antique 
waste. 

The  next  day  I  drove  over  to  the  north  side, 
where  was  done  the  widest  work  of  the  fire.  It 
is  useless  to  try  to  convey  to  another  what  you 
experience  in  journeying  through  this  region. 
You  can  easily  tell  what  your  eyes  see,  but  you 
cannot  make  another  feel  what  is  in  your  heart. 

There  is  just  simply  nothing  to  describe. 
Miles  on  miles  of  dreary  open  space.  That  is  all. 
There  are  whole  blocks  as  clean  as  a  threshing- 
floor,  not  even  a  nail  left,  nor  a  little  heap  of 
ashes  of  what  were  once  beautiful  or  pleasant 
homes.  This  was  the  "  wooden"  part  of  the 
town,  not  poor,  the  poorest  and  ugliest  part  of 

the  city  still  stands. 
14 


210  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

There  is  scarcely  a  thing  that  can  be  called  a 
ruin  save  the  churches,  and  many  of  these  are 
literally  annihilated.  Never  before  was  such 
awful  cleanness  seen  after  fire.  It  is  like  the 
open  prairie,  save  that  you,  standing  in  its  midst, 
feel  instead  of  the  bounding  life  of  the  prairie,  as 
though  the  ground  under  foot  was  filled  with  sad 
der  things  than  death. 

Some  idea  of  the  frightful  fury  of  the  flames 
can  be  had  from  the  heavy  pillars  of  church  or 
public  buildings,  here  and  there  standing.  The 
outer  surface  of  the  solid  stone  has  boiled  in  the 
furnace  heat,  run  down  in  streams  and  hardened 
on  the  new  face  exposed,  like  petrified  jelly. 

Here  there  was  nobody  —  a  few  sight-seers, 
strangers — nothing  else  visible  that  had  life. 

Across  the  river,  in  the  great  business  section, 
swarms  of  men  are  already  at  work  carting  away 
what  rubbish  remains,  and  preparing  to  build 
anew,  but  here  things  are  yet  as  the  fire  left 
them. 

We  drove  till  I  said  to  myself,  "  Now  we  must 
be  at  the  end,  for  I  can  bear  no  more,"  and  when 
I  reached  that  point  we  had  but  fairly  begun. 

We  paced  along  over  miles  and  miles  till  I  lost 
all  power  of  speech,  and  was  dumb  when  I  came 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  211 

back  to  the  home  of  my  dear  courageous  friends, 
who  tried  to  laugh  at  me — and  broke  down  cry 
ing.  To  bed  I  went  at  last,  only  to  lie  awake 
through  the  night.  I  was  not  restless,  but  I  felt 
as  though  I  could  never  go  to  sleep  again. 

There  is  a  terrible  activity  in  the  mental  air  of 
the  place.  It  is  penetrated  with  awful  memories, 
crowded  with  loss  and  anguish,  and  the  super 
human  struggle  of  the  people  for  courage  and 
cheerfulness.  Every  one  tries  to  outvie  his  or 
her  neighbor  in  the  heroic  eifort. 

One  laughs  and  apologizes  for  her  very  fine 
clothes  because  they  "  are  all  she  has,"  and 
another  is  "constantly  busy  looking  after  her 
husband  and  children  by  reason  of  their  being 
scattered  in  this  or  that  house  of  friends  ;"  and 
another,  who  has  a  retinue  of  servants,  "  finds  it 
jolly  living  in  two  rooms,  so  much  less  care  ;" 
and  another  who  has  taken  her  silken  ease  in  a 
palace  is  amused  at  living  in  a  frame  shanty, 
"it  reminds  me  of  '49  and  '50  ;"  and  this  man 
says,  "Oh,  my  loss  has  been  nothing,"  half  a 
million  perhaps,  but  the  man  with  whom  he 
talks  has  lost  a  million,  and  he  says,  "  Well, 
mine  isn't  worth  mentioning  ;  I'm  more  lucky 
than  the  most :  my  books  are  saved ;"  and 


A  RAGGED  EEGISTER. 

another,  who  went  abroad  a  prince,  comes  home 
penniless  and  congratulates  himself  that  he  has 
had  Europe,  "  tliat  is  a  safe  investment  nothing 
can  take  from  me ;"  and  another  who  had 
thought  his  work  done  begins  afresh  at  fifty,  and 
is  sure  that  he  is  fortunate  in  that  he  "  has  his 
credit  and  energy  enough  to  start  anew." 

Still  the  reaction  must  come. 

What  I  have  seen  makes  me  think  of  the 
splendid  drama  played  by  the  old  French 
noblesse  in  the  days  of  the  Revolution.  It  is  a 
sort  of  intoxication  of  courage.  But  when  the 
fine  clothes  are  shabby  and  there  is  no  money  to 
buy  any  kind,  and  the  break  comes  after  a  man 
has  moved  mountains  to  hold  his  thread  of  busi 
ness  unbroken,  and  the  bald  gaunt  face  of  poverty 
sits  down  at  many  a  table,  the  result  will  be  ter 
rible  ;  even  now  you  hear  of  invalids  and  some  in 
sane.  Think  of  nearly  five  hundred  little  lives 
breathing  an  untimely  breath,  as  they  passed 
their  whole  of  earthly  experience  in  some  open 
park  or  street  on  that  awful  Monday  night. 

The  noise  of  the  flames,  not  the  crackling  and 
crashing  of  stone  and  timber,  but  the  Voice  of  the 
Fire,  wa-s,  they  tell  me,  like  the  roar  of  an  angry 
sea.  It  deafened  people,  —and  the  light  was  like 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER.  213 

that  of  a  consuming  world.  I  do  not  wonder  that 
it  seemed  to  many  a  sonl  like  "the  Judgment 
Day." 

Indeed  it  was  a  sort  of  judgment  day,  in  which 
the  internal  Me,  the  souls  of  men  and  women, 
were  laid  bare  without  mask  or  covering,  and  the 
66  bed  rock"  of  nature  was  revealed  to  the  human 
eye,  as  it  would  never  else  have  been  seen  save  by 
God  alone. 

And  the  revelation  makes  one  glad  that  one 
lives  and  belongs  to  the  human  kind,  and  I  must 
say  it — to  the  American  human  kind.  Robert 
Collyer  testifies,  "  I  did  not  see  a  man  moaning  or 
a  woman  crying  of  your  stock  ;  I  did  not  see  a 
single  man  or  woman  who  was  not  trying  to  do 
something  for  somebody  else  more  helpless  than 
they  were  themselves. ' '  Still  my  American  brain 
does  not  fail  to  appreciate  the  fact  that  it  is  a  man 
who  did  more  than  the  most  and  better  than  the 
best  who  bears  this  generous  testimony  with  his 
hearty  English  tongue. 

XLIII. 

Life  at  Chicago  was  so  sad  and  heroic  that 
even  the  half  week  spent  there  cut  me  off  from 
the  ordinary  feeling  and  action  of  the  world.  I 


214  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

was  glad  to  find  myself  at in  an  atrocious 

hotel,  and  so  be  able  to  growl  over  the  common 
place  disagreeables  of  time. 

And  to  have  a  laugh  too.     It  was  the  first  time 

I  had  been  at ,  and  the  landlord,  wishing  to 

do  me  honor,  was  on  the  steps  of  his  hotel  to 
welcome  me  with  great  distinction.  Divers  high 
mightinesses  had  been  in  order  before  me,  and 
his  tongue  had  grown  so  accustomed  to  titles  of 
rank  and  dignity  as  to  be  unable  to  compass  it 
self  to  the  small  bounds  of  "  miss,"  and  expanded 
at  once  into  the  familiar,  "  Ah,  how  de  do, 
colonel  ?  how  de  do  ?  proud  to  welcome  you  to 
our  town  ;"  and  then,  probably  hearing  internally 
an  echo  of  his  words,  blushed  and  stopped. 

After  all  I  was  not  greatly  flattered.  If  it  had 
been  ' '  general, ' '  I  might  have  plumed  m  yself ,  but 
"colonel!" — colonels  are  too  plenty.  If  every 
colonel  of  whom  I  hear  or  meet  was  a  soldier,  the 
standing  army  in  the  country  would  be  a  menace 
to  our  liberties.  Specially  throughout  the  West 
are  they  as  great  in  number  as  they  were  in  San 
Francisco  at  the  time  of  John  Phoenix's  visit,  to 
which  number  he  bears  veracious  testimony.  ' '  The 
steamboat,"  he  tells  us,  "  was  leaving  the  wharf, 
and  everybody  was  taking  leave  of  friends — all 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  215 

but  Phoenix,  who  had  no  friend  to  bid  him  fare 
well.  Ashamed  of  his  loneliness  as  the  boat 
sheered  off,  he  called  out  in  a  loud  voice,  '  Good 
by,  colonel !'  and,  to  his  great  delight,  every  man 
on  the  wharf  took  off  his  hat  and  shouted, 
<  Colonel,  good-by  !'" 

And  that  reminds  me  of  a  good  story  told  at 

about  the  President  of  the  Association  and 

Mr.  Phillips.  They  had  tried  in  vain  to  secure 
his  services  for  their  last  course,  and  could  give 
no  sufficient  reason  to  their  people  why  he  should 
come  to  places  near  and  about  them,  and  not  to 
them. 

Being  near  them,  the  President,  with  a  party, 
went  to  hear  him,  and  at  the  close  of  the  lecture 
fell  to  cross-questioning  him  as  to  his  inability  or 
unwillingness  to  meet  their  wishes. 

"  I  would  not  have  a  good  audience,"  at  last 
said  he  of  the  silver  tongue, 

"  How  can  you  say  so,"  queried  the  President, 
"  when  you  had  such  splendid  houses  before  V 

"  Not  so  full  last  time,"  objected  Mr.  Phillips. 

"  But  it  rained,"  expostulated  the  determined 
officer.  "  The  night  would  have  hurt  anybody's 
house.  Our  people  are  more  anxious  than  ever 
to  hear  you." 


216  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

"  Can't  credit  it,"  objected  the  great  speaker, 
who  probably  had  his  own  sufficient  reasons  for 
non-compliance  with  the  request.  "  I  have  had 
thrust  upon  me,  from  visit  to  visit,  the  unmistak 
able  signs  of  failing  popularity." 

"But  you  can't  have,"  protested  the  Presi 
dent,  "  because  there  ain't  any  failure  of  that 
kind.  You  never  began  to  be  so  popular." 

"Don't  tell  me,"  said  Mr.  Phillips,  with  a 
glimmer  of  smile  that  might  have  enlightened 
the  befogged  ambassador,  "when  I  first  stopped 
at  —  -  the  landlord  came  clear  out  to  the  curb 
stone  to  meet  me,  hat  to  the  ground,  '  General,  I 
am  proud  and  happy  of  the  honor  of  welcoming 
you  at  last  to  our  town.  You  will  have  a  worthy 
reception  to-night ; '  and  I  was  sure  of  an  audi 
ence  for  tliat  evening. 

' '  When  I  came  round  almost  a  year  later,  the 
landlord  stood  in  the  door,  hat  not  visible, 
"  Colonel,  I'm  glad  to  see  you  again  ;  we'll  all  be 
glad  to  hear  you  once  more  ;"  and  I  thought,  I 
will  have  &full  house  if  not  a  crowd  to-night. 

"Last  year,  stopping  for  the  third  time,  there 
was  no  landlord  on  the  pavement,  none  in  the 
doorway,  and  when  I  came  to  the  office  to  regis 
ter  my  name,  there  he  stood,  hat  on  the  back  of 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  217 

his  head,  too  precariously  planted  to  allow  of 
more  than  a  feeble  nod  as  he  called,  (  Ah,  how  de 
do,  captain  ?  Here,  Jim,  take  the  captain's  bag 
up  to  No.  39.'  I  knew  then  I'd  have  a  poor 
house  that  night,  and  I  did.  You  say  it  was  the 
rain,  but  the  landlord  was  a  popular  barometer, 
and  I'll  take  his  warning.  If  I  go  this  time  it 
will  be  to  find  that  I  am  only  a  high  private,  with 
consequent  effect  on  the  '  drawing  power/  and 
I'll  stay  away  accordingly." 

And  spite  of  entreaties  that  was  all  the  satis 
faction  that  could  be  gained  from  him. 

To  show  that  he  had  no  possible  vacant  evening 
would  have  been  without  avail.  A  plain  demon 
stration  of  six  nights  a  week  for  the  next  six 
months  is  no  obstacle  to  an  association  that  has 
fixed  its  desires  on  some  particular  speaker.  "  I 
don't  doubt  Gough  could  come  well  enough  if  he 
would,"  complained  a  Y.  M.  C.  A.  secretary  to 
me  one  day.  "  He  don't  want  to  come." 

"  To  my  certain  knowledge,"  answered  I,  "  Mr. 
Gough  has  at  least  three  times  more  invitations 
every  season,  at  his  own  price,  than  he  is  able  to 
fill." 

"  Oh,  he  could  come  to  us  if  he  tried  hard 
enough,"  growled  the  disappointed  secretary,  be- 


218  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

fore  whose  vision  rose  the  crammed  hall  Gough 
always  draws.  "  We're  only  one  place  more,  and 
we've  been  trying  to  get  him  for  the  last  three 
years." 

"  So  a  thousand  other  places  can  say,"  I  con 
tended. 

"  Oh,  well,  he  could  squeeze  us  in  if  we  could 
only  make  him  think  so.  Can't  you  speak  a 
word  for  us  when  you  see  him  ?" 

"  Yes,"  said  I,  "  I  will ;  and  at  the  same  time 
suggest  to  him  that  he  have  the  calendar  amended 
and  eight  evenings  counted  to  a  week." 

XLIV. 

And  the  next  day,  sat  ruminating  in  the  cars 
upon  the  feasibility  of  this  project,  when  my  pon- 
derings  were  rudely  jostled  by  reason  of  the  en 
gine  plunging  into  the  rear  car  of  a  freight  train 
and  jerking  us  all  from  the  track. 

"  Nobody  hurt." 

But  as  the  cars  bumped  over  the  ties  and 
swayed  to  a  threatened  overthrow,  I  took  a  fresh 
sense  of  the  stupidity  or  recklessness  that  con 
tinues  to  expose  thousands  of  lives  to  the  horror  of 
slow  auto-da-fe's  by  the  crude  and  senseless  meth 
ods  of  heating  the  cars. 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER.  211) 

Old  traveller  as  I  am,  much  exposed  and  little 
given  to  fear,  I  never  sit  down  in  that  champion 
tinder-box— a  car — in  the  midst  of  its  upholstery, 
its  dry  highly  seasoned  woods  steeped  in  oil  and 
varnish,  and  look  at  its  stove  without  a  momen 
tary  shudder. 

It  does  not  need  an  awful  disaster  to  produce  a 
doubly  horrible  one.  A  mishap  that  would  of  it 
self  result  in  nothing  worse  than  a  scare  and  some 
bruises,  is  converted  through  these  abominations 
filled  with  blazing  wood  or  burning  coals  into  a 
ghastly  tragedy,  that  is  alike  awful  in  itself  and 
a  shame  to  our  civilization  and  its  boasted  enter 
prise. 

The  company  that  can  use  hot-air  pipes,  yet 
persists  in  the  atrocity  of  stoves — fire-brands  in 
the  midst  of  kindling-wood — in  the  face  of  the 
well-known  fact  that  almost  every  great  calamity 
on  the  rails  has  been  doubled  and  quadrupled  in 
its  results  of  anguish  and  death  "  by  the  cars 
taking  fire,"  ought  to  be  held  to  a  punishable 
accountability  at  the  bar  of  both  law  and  public 
opinion. 

The  public,  however,  from  which  the  "  opinion" 
is  to  be  manufactured,  prefer  to  greedily  devour 
all  the  ghastly  records  of  the  "  accident "  (?  !),  in- 


220  A  MAGGED  REGISTER. 

dulge  in  fine  irony  of  private  comment  to  the 
effect,  "  Oh,  of  course,  nobody's  to  blame  ;  the 
road  will  look  out  for  tJiat  /"  and  then  sit  down 
and  wait  for  a  fresh  meal  of  horrors,  all  the  time 
knowing  perfectly  well  that  if  each  and  every 
one  spoke  but  a  single  word  apiece,  but  spoke 
it  out  loud  as  to  w7to  was  to  blame,  "  the  road  " 
would  see  to  it  that  no  further  cause  of  offence 
was  given  in  that  direction. 

XLV. 

The  next  day  I  had  a  lively  ride  of  another 
kind.  The  regular  train  was  hours  late,  but  I 
was  consoled  by  the  assurance  of  a  "  comfortable 
car"  on  the  afternoon  freight.  Which  comfort 
able  car  proved  to  be  a  baggage-car,  incredibly 
filthy,  crowded  with  road  employees,  emigrants, 
and  vermin,  seatless  save  for  boxes,  unventilated 
save  by  doors,  given  over  to  pipes  and  tobacco- 
juice.  Fortunately,  it  was  a  lovely  day,  spite  of 
the  season,  and  I  sat  in  the  doorway  dangling  my 
feet  outside,  and  contemplating  at  intervals,  when 
my  nose  would  allow  it,  the  display  of  humanity 
within. 

Why  will  people  be  so  dirty  ?  I  often  wonder 
whether  it  is  the  habit  or  affection  of  long  asso- 


A  BAGGED  REGISTER.  221 

elation  that  makes  them  cling  so  tenaciously  to 
that  from -which  some  soap  and  water  would  sep 
arate  them  ?  and  would  a  cold-water  mission,  not 
for  drink  but  for  ablutions,  prove  any  more  suc 
cessful  than  the  manifold  temperance  crusades. 

XLVL 

At  the  end  of  that  journey  I  had  one  of  my 
"  experiences"  with  a  lecture  association. 

There  are  associations  and  associations. 

This  was  one  of  the  "  and's. 

Train  crept  up  to  the  station  at  6.55.  Nobody 
there  to  meet  me.  Had  not  been  in  the  place  be- 
lore,  the  names  and  grades  of  the  different  hotels 
Avere  consequently  unrevealed  mysteries. 

"  Which  is  the  best  house  *"  I  inquired  of  the 
conductor  of  an  out-going  train. 

He  was  not  at  liberty  to  designate. 

"  I  can't  tell  you.  We  never  give  any  pref 
erence.  It'd  make  bad  feeling.  They  are  all 
pretty  fair." 

Of  course  I  knew  that  in  a  town  of  tJtat  size 
there  was  one  that  might  be  ' i  pretty  fair, ' '  and 
certainly  the  best — and  no  more. 

So  I  appealed  to  the  ticket-agent,  and  the  tele 
graph  agent,  and  the  baggage-master  with,  as 


222  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

usual,  the  like  result.  Finally  fished  out  my 
baggage,  plunged  into  an  omnibus  and  went  to 
a  hotel — of  course  the  wrong  one.  Saw  that  be 
fore  I  was  fairly  within  the  door.  Had  a  row  with 
the  driver  before  he  could  be  induced  to  carry 
me  to  the  right  one.  Reached  it.  Waited  to  see 
the  clerk.  Went  in  pursuit  of  him.  Was  grinned 
at  by  a  group  of  boors  who  stood  about  the  bar 
filling  the  air  with  tobacco-smoke  and  carpeting 
the  fioor  with  tobacco-juice.  Ignored  them  in  re 
turn.  Found  the  clerk.  Found  a  room.  Found 
no  fire. 

"  Had  any  of  the  committee  been  in  ?" 

"  Yes,  Mr.  Smith  had  been  in  in  the  morning, 
and  I  told  him  he'd  better  have  a  room  engaged 
and  a  fire  ;  but  he  said  you  '  might  want  to  stay 
at  a  private  house,  and  then  the  committee  would 
be  out  a  dollar. '  : 

Not  only  no  fire,  but  no  water  in  the  pitcher, 
no  towels,  no  coffee,  no  time  to  make  any  :  re 
sult,  eight  o'clock  before  I  can  wash  the  grime 
from  my  face,  comb  my  ragged  hair,  and,  shabby 
and  hungry,  find  my  way  to  the  hall. 

The  next  season  when  I  halted  at I  was 

"  in  time,"  was  settled,  was  arrayed,  was  specu 
lating  on  the  audience,  and,  lamenting  the  coughs 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  223 

and  colds  that  would  be  taken  by  it  out  of  the 
slush  of  the  streets  and  the  sleet  in  the  air,  won 
dered  why  none  of  the  committee  appeared. 

Two  did  appear. 

Was  I  ready  ? 

Yes,  I  was  ready. 

Had  I  rubbers  on  ? 

Yes,  I  had  sandals  ;  they  were  sufficient  to 
cross  to  the  carriage. 

Door  opened.  Black  night.  Ankle  deep  slop. 
Driving  storm.  No  carriage. 

Where  was  the  carriage  ? 

They  had  no  carriage.     Did  I  want  one  ? 

Yes,  I  certainly  did  want  one,  I  always  wanted 
one,  and  the  committee  always  "brought  one. 

Couldn't  I  do  without  it  \ 

K"o,  I  certainly  couldn't  do  without  it.  I  pre 
ferred  it  on  any  night,  and  I  needed  it  on  this 
night. 

Private  conference  in  the  corner. 

Exit. 

Delay. 

Transit  to  hall. 

Speech  made. 

Desire  to  return  to  hotel  and  supper. 

Fresh  delay. 


224  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

"Mr.  T.  and  his  wife— Mr.  T.  is  one  of  our 
members— took  the  carriage  to  go  home,  thought 
they'd  get  there  and  have  it  sent  back  before  you 
got  through  hand-shaking  and  were  ready." 

Carriage  arrives.  Five  young  men  follow  the 
unhappy  speaker  into  its  depths, 

The  President. 

The  Vice-President. 

The  Secretary. 

The  Treasurer. 

Private  member. 

The  Vice-President  is  put  down  at  liis  door. 
The  distinguished  member  is  put  down  at  his 
door.  The  carriage  veers  out  of  the  route  to  the 
hotel  to  put  the  Secretary  down  at  Ids  door. 
The  President  and  Treasurer  come  with  the 
speaker  to  her  destination,  hand  her  a  roll  of 
bills,  remount  the  vehicle,  and  disappear  through 
the  night,  supposably  to  their  doors. 

She — I — the  speaker — counts   her  roll  of  bills 
and  finds  her  fee  short  ten  dollars.     In  the  morn 
ing  sees  the  Treasurer  ;  regrets  but  presumes  a 
"  probable  oversight." 

"]XTot  at  all.  No  oversight  at  all.  It's  all 
right." 

«  How— all  right  T 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  225 


(i  Certainly  ;  we  paid  ten  dollars  for  the  car 
riage." 

After  which,  there  is  manifestly  no  farther  call 
for  words,  and  "  I  am  thankful  I  have  got  my 
hat  back  from  this  congregation." 

XLVIL 

Also,  that  I  am  to  have  the  pleasure  of  travel 
ling  onward  to  a  St.  Louis  hotel,  and  a  St.  Louis 

audience,  and  of  laughing  over  my  stop  at 

by  the  way. 

is  but  thirty  miles  from  St.  Louis,  yet  the 

houses  and  lands  and  people  are  sigJtts.  Nobody 
but  Dickens  could  do  justice  to  them  ;  so  why 
attempt  it  ? 

He  once  did  so  ; is  a  place  marked  in  the 

"  Notes."  He  came  to  it  on  a  big  hunt,  and  they 
still  show  the  bit  of  an  inn  at  which  he  stopped, 
and  are  full  of  stories  of  him.  My  driver  was 
the  son  of  the  old  hotel- keeper — keeper  of  the 
hotel  now  himself,  a  yellow- haired,  long-legged 
gawk,  who  narrated  with  pride  how  he  blacked 
Dickens'  boots,  and  how  he— Dickens  —  "  went 
on  a  glorious  old  bust.  He  airn't  noways  related 
to  you,  be  he?" 

"  No,"  say  I,  somewhat  wondering,  the  mys- 
15 


226  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

tery  being  presently  elucidated  by  the  query,  "  I 
say,  Missus  Dickens,  whar  shell  I  have  your  trunk 
checked  onto  ?" 

The  hotel  had  been  built  on  to  the  old  one— the 
old  one  now  degraded  to  a  hen-house— the  most 
comical  place,  with  deep  window-seats,  and  a 
ridiculous  three-cornered  cupboard,  and  a  door 
set  into  the  room  opposite  the  cupboard  also 
three-cornered  (a  la  Dick  Deadeye),  and  furniture 
that  had  apparently  descended  from  the  ark. 
Every  thing  though  was  scrupulously  clean,  an 
unheard-of  luxury  through  the  last  half  week, 
and  I  thought  to  have  a  night's  sleep,  but  was 
disappointed. 

No  one  who  has  not  heard  and  felt  these  prairie 
winds  can  imagine  them.  Blowing  without  break 
over  thousands  of  miles,  their  sweep  is  terrific. 
The  day  had  been  sultry  as  August,  and  when 
night  fell  I  thought  time  had  nearly  ended.  It 
thundered  and  lightened  and  poured  as  though 
the  sea  had  broken  from  the  sky,  while  the  wind, 
as  my  landlord  remarked  in  the  morning,  "  war 
enough  to  blow  the  dead  out  of  their  graves." 

"  I  hope  it  won't  blow  you  off  the  rails  and  in 
ter  one,"  he  remarked  cheerfully  as  I  Avent  my 
way  to a  little  later. 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER.  227 

Not  a  bad  wish  for  that  day  and  time. 

Never  saw  I  such  a  tempest  as  broke  over  the 
place  that  afternoon.  It  was  the  same  that  de 
stroyed  East  St.  Louis,  but  somewhat  spent  before 
reaching . 

At  three  of  the  afternoon  a  darkness  fell  that 
was  horrible.  Not  a  twilight  nor  night,  but  a  livid 
blackness  that  was  awful.  The  gas  burned  as  in 
a  vault,  casting  out  a  circle  of  rays,  but  leaving 
the  space  about  it  in  profound  gloom.  The  rain 
fell  not  in  drops,  but  in  sheets,  the  thunder  was 
like  a  park  of  artillery,  yet  the  noise  of  the  wind 
drowned  it,  and  the  lightning  was  so  incessant 
and  brilliant  as  to  furnish  light  whereby  to  read, 
had  not  its  glare  blinded  one. 

It  would  have  been  terrible  at  midsummer,  such 
a  storm.  In  the  midst  of  winter  (it  snowed  that 
night)  there  was  about  it  something  weird  and 
uncanny  that  made  one  shudder — as  though  the 
elements  had  quite  broken  from  all  order  and 
control. 

XLVIII. 

Considering  the  profound  gloom  without,  per 
haps  it  was  not  strange  the  President  of  the  As 
sociation  was  anxious  for  something  lively  in  the 
evening. 


228  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

He  was  afraid  the  audience  might  not  like  the 
lecture  on  "  Jo-ann,"  because -"we  don't  read 
much  in  this  town,  and  haven't  no  library,  nor 
yet  many  books,  and  there  ain't  many  of  us  as 
has  more  than  heard  of  her." 

I  suggested  that  they  should  take  some  other 
lecture  that  might  be  a  bit  spicy,  and  so  suit 
them  better. 

"  No.  You're  making  that  everywhere,  ain't 
you  ?  Up  to  Chicago,  and  down  at  St.  Louis,  and 
all  round?" 

"  Even  so,"  I  confessed. 

"Well,  we  are  going  to  have  first  chop  what 
ever  it  is,  and  Jo-ann  seems  to  fill  the  bill. ' ' 

In  spite  of  his  asseveration,  however,  my  friend 
was  not  satisfied  with  the  "  bill,"  for  he  shook  his 
head  sadly  and  slow,  and  at  last  ventured, 
"  Nothing  brisk  in  it,  eh  ?" 

6  i  Rather  the  reverse, ' '  I  was  afraid. 

"  And  she  lived  a  considerable  while  ago.  I 
reckon  about  1816,  wan't  it  ?" 

i '  Nearer  five  hundred  than  fifty  years, ' '  I  ex 
plained  to  him. 

"  Well  now  !  So  long  ago  as  that !  Really  ! 
Well !  You  see  I  told  you  we're  not  much  for 
reading  here.  Do  you  mind  telling  whether  Jo- 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  229 

arm  was  English  or  French  ?  And  where  is  Ark 
any  way  ? 

More  surprise  at  the  answer  that  "  Arc"  was  a 
'  '  myth,  "  if  nowhere1  '  —  the  '  '  myth'  '  evidently 
being  as  great  a  mystery  as  the  "  Ark." 

A  long  pause,  during  which  my  literary  friend 
ruminated  while  stroking  his  whiskers,  and  I 
studied  a  page  of  human  nature. 

"I  say." 


"  It's  just  a  historic  piece  ?" 

"  No  more." 

"  Well  now,"  brightening  hopefully,  "don't 
you  think  you  could  liven  it  up  by  throwing  in  a 
few  jolly  stories  and  some  jokes,  and  —  and  —  that 
sort  of  thing  ?'  ' 

"  Have  an  intermission  about  the  middle  of  it  ? 
Sing  a  song?  or  perhaps  dance  a  jig?"  I  feel 
ingly  inquired. 

At  which  with  ecstasy  the  response,  "  Oh  !  if 
you  only  would,  Miss  Dickinson  !" 

Well  I  didn't,  and  was  never  bidden  back  to 
tliat  town. 

I  did  not  suppose  he  could  be  matched,  but  I 
found  his  mate  a  fortnight  or  so  later  at  -  —  . 

Said  the  very  pleasant  presiding  officer  to  me 


230  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

as  we  wended  our  way  to  the  hall,  "  We  have 
engaged  Mr.  H—  to  introduce  you  this  evening. 
Mr.  H —  is  the  leading  banker  here,  and  very 
rich,  and  he  wants  to  go  to  Congress,  and  is 
always  more  than  glad  to  make  a  little  speech, 
and— as  he  does  a  great  deal  for  our  associa 
tion " 

He  smiled  and  I  smiled,  and  waited  for  a  sen 
sation. 

And  was  not  disappointed. 

Elijah  Pogram  in  the  flesh  !  Just  so  big  and 
noisy  and  pretentious,  with  a  vast  expanse  of 
shirt-front,  white  vest,  and  limp  white  necktie. 
Just  such  a  blue  swallow-tail  with  shining  but 
tons.  Hair  brushed  up  in  just  such  an  "  intel 
lectual  "  manner.  Tobacco  quid  as  huge.  Hands 
stuck  as  determinedly  into  his  breeches  pockets. 

JS"o  sooner  did  I  see  him  than  I  knew  I  was  in 
for  it,  and  I  was.  After  certain  little  formalities 
of  attitude  and  quid  had  been  gone  through  with, 
thus  ran  his  story  : 

"  Fellow-citizens. 

' c  Ladies — and — gentlem  en . 

'  'It  is  my  pleasure,  my  honor  and  my  pleas 
ure  to  be  where  I  am  to-night. 

"Hem!  hem! 


A   RAGGED   REGISTER  231 

"  Any  one  might  rejoice  in  such  a  pleasure  and 
a  honor — hem  ! 

"  Ladies  and  gentlemen,  and  citizens  of  Elea- 
noize,  and  fellow-members  of  this  community, 
the  young  woman  who  is  to  address  you  to-night 
has  considerable  reputation — hem — hem  ! 

"  In  fact  wherever  the  English  language  is 
spoken,  wherever  the  American  stars  and  stripes 
waves,  her  name  is  like  household  words.  Listen 
to  her  then,  and  I  know,  yes,  fellow-citizens,  I 
know  you  will  listen  to  her  since  she  always  ad 
dresses  herself  to  the.poor,  the  maimed,  the  halt, 
and  the  blind  !  You  will  listen  to  her  since  she 
always  addresses  herself  to  the  ignorant,  the  down 
trodden  and  the  oppressed  of  every  color,  clime, 
and  tongue ! 

"  Fellow-citizens  of  E — leanoize  <md  ladies  and 
gentlemen,  you  will  now  listen  to  the  oration  of 
Miss  Anna  E.  Dickinson." 

And  he  was  through,  mercifully  before  I  had 
expired  of  slow  strangulation.  Being  under  his 
very  nose  in  full  view  of  the  audience — an  audi 
ence  that  did  not  stir  a  muscle — I  did  not  dare  to 
laugh  and  so  as  nearly  choked  as  was  wholesome. 

It  was  worth  going  to to  see  and  to  hear. 

Indeed,  there  are  people  and  their  doings  worth 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

crossing  a  state,  not  to  say  a  continent,  to  behold  ; 
curiosities  not  to  be  observed  every  day. 

I  should  think  there  were  a  good  many  such  in 
the  Missouri  legislature  at  the  same  time  I  was 

at .     One  of  the  honorable  members  desired 

that  the  hall  of  the  House  might  be  voted  to 
"  Miss  Dickinson  to  give  her  speech  on  Jonah's 
Ark  there  was  so  much  talk  about."  He  sup 
posed  "it  must  be  a  lecture  about  whales,  and 
might  be  interesting  as  well  as  instructive,"  and 
another  said  lie  would  rather  hear  her  on  "  female 
agitation"  (the  two  speeches  under  consideration 
being  "  Joan  of  Arc"  and  "  Woman's  Work  and 
Wages"),  but  as  they  proposed  there  should  be  no 
tickets,  leaving  the  speaker  to  pay  her  own  ex 
penses,  she  concluded  that  her  interest  in  their 
mental  growth  and  spiritual  welfare  did  not  de 
mand  the  outlay.  She  preferred  going  to  that 
charming  town  of  Independence  and  a  right-mind 
ed  society  instead. 

XLTX. 

Some  parts  of  Missouri  are  altogether  lovely. 
About  this  place,  for  instance,  the  farms  are  im 
mense,  perfectly  cultivated,  trimly  hedged  in 
stead  of  fenced,  well  watered  and  timbered.  The 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  233 

forests  alone  would  make  it  beautiful.  When 
you  have  for  long  journeyed  over  a  prairie  coun 
try  you  find  even  a  commonplace  surface  of  land 
absolutely  delightful  to  the  eye  by  reason  of  trees. 
Independence,  formerly  the  starting-point  for  em 
igrant  trains,  stands  back  from  the  road,  one  of 
the  richest  and  oldest  towns  in  the  State,  and  I 
looked  with  pathetic  interest  at  the  spot  from 
whence  so  many  thousands  and  tens  of  thousands 
camped  and  rested  and  said  good-by  to  all  that 
was  behind  of  home  and  civilization,  and  started 
upon  the  long  journey  across  the  plains,  some  in 
hope,  some  in  indifference  akin  to  despair,  many 
and  many  a  one  to  sooner  find  a  halting-place 
than  that  toward  which  their  weary  feet  tended. 

There  is  as  much  to  sorrow  as  to  rejoice  over  in 
this  wonderful  far  Western  growth — in  more  ways 
than  one. 

In  too  many  cases  the  men  are  reckless  fellows 
who  destroy  themselves  with  excesses  and  drink. 

The  women  live  in  their  cabins  (solitary  in 
the  midst  of  great  spaces),  toil  and  moil  early 
and  late,  their  own  housekeepers,  cooks,  maids, 
nurses,  drudges.  Bearing  half  a  dozen  or  a  dozen 
children,  burying  part  of  them,  by  and  by  lying- 
down  by  their  side,  leaving  space  among  the  liv- 


-34  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

ing  for  No.  2  to  step  into  a  handsome  home  and 
a  good  time  ! 

Having  wearied  myself  with  melancholy  reflec 
tion,  I  nearly  fell  into  convulsions  over  the  ex 
traordinary  turnout  that  met  my  vision  as  I 
turned  away  from  the  sight  of  the  old  emigrant 
road. 

A  waggon  of  wood,  the  very  tires  on  the  wheels 
of  wood  in  place  of  iron,  the  design  of  the  estab 
lishment,  to  speak  mildly,  unique,  the  household 
belongings  unique.  Perched  on  these,  two  tired- 
looking  saffron-hued  women,  each  with  a  baby  in 
her  arms,  and  eight  or  ten  small  tow-heads  bob 
bing  about  among  the  afore-mentioned  household 
goods  and  chattels,  as  part  and  parcel  of  which 
they  seemed  to  be  stored.  Two  anatomies  of 
oxen  leading;  two  anatomies  of  men,  sallow, 
long-haired,  "jeans"  covered  men  walking  along 
side. 

Somebody  asked  one  of  the  pioneers  whence 
they  came  and  whither  they  were  bound.  To 
which  answer  was  vouchsafed,  "  What's  that  your 
dad  ratted  bisniss  2  We're  from  North  Calini 
and  are  going  to  Kansas  if  we  can  ever  git  out  of 
these  yer  blamed  hoiises. " 


A  RAGGED   REGISTER.  235 

L. 

1  found  here  as  elsewhere  in  the  Western  part 
of  the  State  a  plenty  of  audiences  that  were  '*  con 
servative,"  but  delightful  people  to  whom  to  tell 
the  story  of  Jeanne  d' Arc. 

Cultivated  and  well  read,  though  you  would 
not  think  it  from  their  external  appearance  ;  odd- 
looking  companies,  the  women  with  their  coats 
of  many  colors  and  many  fashions,  and  the  men 
with  their  tobacco  and  their  manners — savoring  so 
much  of — well !  I  do  not  know  what — unless  it  be 
an  equal  mixture  of  courtier  and  Indian. 

I  could  readily  understand  why  the  story  was 
so  well  liked  by  them,  with  its  heroic  and  pathetic 
central  figure,  and  its  tale  of  a  weak  and  almost 
crushed  people  making  triumphant  headway 
against  a  powerful  foe. 

Not  that  I  heard  lament  for  things  past,  nor 
refusal  to  accept  the  inevitable  present  nor  things 
to  come.  The  great  body  of  people  here,  as  the 
great  body  of  people  everywhere,  have  been  led. 
These  have  been  led  astray,  but  they  are  getting 
into  the  right  road,  and  are  struggling  nobly  to 
ward  an  end  that  shall  be  peace  and  good  will. 

I  was  amused  at  a  bit   of  argumentation   to 


236  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

which  I  listened  on  my  way  from  C —  to  Kansas 
City. 

A  fossil  and  evident  "  stay-at-home"  was  dilat 
ing  to  another  of  like  ilk  on  the  divine  right  of 
slavery,  and  the  wrongs  and  sufferings  of  the 
slaveholders. 

He  must  have  been  a  foolish  man  to  have  spent 
his  living  moments  in  talking  about  a  thing 
utterly  dead. 

Opposite  him  sat  a  bright-faced  one-armed  Mis- 
sourian,  who  looked  as  though  he  had  given  the 
boys  in  blue  some  hot  work,  watching  and  listen 
ing  with  an  amused  smile  as  the  mummy  iterated 
and  reiterated,  ' '  God  Almighty  never  meant  the 
damned  niggers  to  be  free  !  ]NTo.  He  never  did. 
He  never  meant  it !"  arid  at  last  breaking  out 
with — 

'*  Well  if  that's  so,  he  must  be  a  mighty  mean 
sort  of  God,  for  the  damned  niggers  got  the  best 
of  him." 

Whereat  everybody  in  the  car,  native  and 
foreign,  broke  into  a  roar. 

LI. 

The  country  from  Kansas  City  down  to  Fort 
Scott  is  the  "Debatable  Land,"  and  from  point 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  237 

to  point  I  heard  names  that  made  me  start  as  they 
were  called,  thinking  that  if  "  old  John  Brown's 
soul  was  marching  on,"  it  might  be  hereabouts  to 
look  after  the  fate  of  his  former  camping  grounds. 
And  thought  of  it  the  more  by  reason  of  the 
companionship  of  a  fellow-passenger — String- 
fellow  of  "  Border  Ruffian"  fame. 

A  man  of  medium  height,  very  strongly  and 
muscularly  built,  small  hands  and  feet,  large 
head,  fiery  red  skin,  hair  and  whiskers  white 
now,  once  sandy,  the  whiskers  cut  short  about 
mouth  and  chin,  giving  a  hard  bristling  look  to  a 
jaw  square  to  ugliness  and  a  mouth  already  firm 
to  cruelty.  Large  perceptive,  small  reasoning 
faculties.  The  nose  of  a  fox.  Eyes  of  a  lead 
blue,  the  coldest  and  most  sinister  I  ever  met. 
A  look  of  great  power  and  endurance  to  the 
whole  man. 

I  wondered  did  any  ghosts  gaze  in  at  him,  or 
touch  him  as  he  went  by. 

He  would  not  have  known  it. 

And  yet  I  doirt  know— Legree  was  terrified 
past  control  by  the  "  voices"  that  came  down  the 
garret  stairs  in  that  house  of  horrors  he  called 
his  home. 

At I  concluded   I   was    certainly    on  the 


238  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

"  Border,"  as  my  landlord  enlivened  the  pro 
ceedings  of  the  day  by  firing  at  and  almost  killing 
his  clerk,  over  which  little  unpleasantness  nobody 
appeared  at  all  disturbed.  A  cheerful  country  ! 

It  will  take  at  least  one  generation  to  forget  the 
lessons  of  barbarism,  and  another  to  learn  those 
of  civilization,  and  these  people  in  common  with 
the  rest  of  Kansas  are  doing  the  best  that  can  be 
done  for  present  and  future  by  their  royal  sup 
port  of  the  best  school  system  in  the  land. 

Of  my  own  experiences  what  chiefly  impressed 
me  at  -  -  was  the  littleness  of  the  room  in  which 
I  held  forth,  and  the  bigness  of  the  man  who  had, 
as  expressed  by  himself,  "  the  honor  to  preside 
on  this  memorable  and  delightful  occasion,"  a 
Missouri  colonel  (every  man  here  is  a  colonel,  a 
general,  or  a  j  udge),  who  stood  seven  feet  ' '  in  his 
stockings." 

I  was  apprehensive  for  the  roof  as  his  head  rose 
upward,  and  somewhat  scared  for  myself  as  he 
planted  his  feet — feet  that  were  foundations  for 
this  height,  objects  that  he  regarded  with  mani 
fest  pride  as  he  turned  them  about  for  inspection, 
and  informed  me  there  wasn'  t  a  pair  of  ready- 
made  shoes  in  the  State  he  could  "  get  on." 

Also,   he  wore  a  shirt  of  unbleached    cotton, 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER.  239 

without  collar,  fresh,  yet  already  creased  and 
tobacco-stained,  into  the  limp  front  of  which  was 
thrust  a  magnificent  diamond  of  purest  water  and 
superb  size  ;  and  lit  was  as  kind,  and  genial,  and 
intelligent  as  his  diamond  was  bright  —  an  out 
and  out  gentleman. 

If  you  wish  to  see  human  nature  in  all  manner 
of  curious  developments,  "  go  west." 

LII. 

As  to  the  hotel  conditions  under  which  you  will 
study  it,  at  a  woeful  many  of  places,  ask  no 
report. 

For  instance,  how  many  and  grievous  wounds 
have  I  carried  away  from  countless  inglorious 
contests  at  -  -  !  How  many  times  journeying 
from  it  to  various  other  points  in  the  State  have 
I  enjoyed  unmolested  possession  of  an  entire  seat 
in  a  crowded  car,  and  been  shunned  by  erst-while 
eager  committee  men,  who  sheered  off  silently, 
or  tremulously  asked,  "  Is  it  safe  for  you  to  be 
abroad,  so  soon,  after  so  violent  an  attack  of 
small-pox  f ' 

There  is  a  great  deal  to  be  said  in  extenuation  of 
some  of  these  hotels  ;  such  as  the  heat,  and  the 
sand,  and  the  vermin-ridden  wood  of  which  the 


240  A  RAGGED   REGISTER. 

houses  are  frequently  constructed,  and  I  would 
defy  even  a  Pennsylvania  Quaker  housekeeper  to 
make  any  headway  against  the  fleas— fleas  not  so 
big  and  fierce-looking  as  those  of  California,  but 
abounding  like  the  locusts  of  old. 

Still  there  are  limits. 

Apropos  to  this  agreeable  theme,  the  other  day 
I  heard  a  story,  at  the  expense  of  this  my  most 
merciless  persecutor  of  a  house,  that  I  enjoyed. 
(No,  I  will  not  tell  you  the  house  nor  the  town. 
The  town  is  a  Kansas  city,  and  if  you  travel  you 
will  have  to  go  to  the  city  and  being  there  go  to 
the  house,  since  'tis  the  best  the  place  affords. 
Why  torment  you  untimely  by  knowledge  of 
what  is  to  come  '0  People  of  delicate  sensibilities 
who  stay  at  home,  and  have  not  a  fellow-feeling 
born  of  suffering,  need  not  read. 

"  Yes,"  this  western  man  was  saying  to 
another  rough-looking  customer,  "  you  may  be 
lieve  it  or  not,  thar  he  was  a  walking  down  the 
page  of  the  register  when  I  wrote  my  name. 
6  We-ell ! '  said  I  to  the  clerk,  '  this  beats  me  ! 
I've  had  gray -backs  a  swarmin'  on  me  when  I 
was  at  Libby  prison,  and  I've  been  eaten  of  mus- 
keets  down  to  Orleans,  and  I've  had  my  tussle 
with  fleas  and  buggers  in  this  country,  but  dern 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER.  241 

my  skin  if  this  isn't  the  first  time  I  ever  did  see  a 
bedbug  walk  down  the  register  to  find  the  num 
ber  of  a  man' s  room  afore  he'  d  taken  possession 
of  it.'"" 

If  one  cannot  fall  into  ecstasies  over  the  hotels, 
one  can  wax  enthusiastic  over  other  matters.  The 
most  of  these  Kansas  towns  are  delightful.  The 
houses  tasty,  many  of  them  built  of  the  soft  light 
stone  that  here  abounds,  giving  a  substantial  and 
old  look  to  infantile  settlements.  Clean  side 
walks,  abundant  shade,  vines  and  flowers  bloom 
ing  in  early  season,  every  thing  tidy  and  busy, 
cheerful  and  progressive.  Kansas  is  like  Iowa  in 
its  population  :  New  England  elements,  of  thrift 
and  energy  and  cleanliness,  and  devotion  to  edu 
cation  predominating. 

The  country  has  a  steady  lift  toward  the 
mountains,  and  some  of  the  marvellous  clearness 
of  the  high  lands  beyond  inheres  in  its  atmos 
phere.  The  sun  goes  down  a  golden  or  crimson 
glory,  with  few  or  no  clouds,  and  the  night  soon 
falls.  I  should  think  the  New  England  people 
would  miss  the  dear  delight  of  twilight  time  and 
its  musings. 

I  slipped  off  the  train  at  Leavenworth,  aban 
doned  talk  and  companions  for  a  while,  in  the 
16 


242  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

midst  of  this  last  journey  to  Colorado  to  renew 
acquaintance  with  the  face  of  some  spots,  that, 
after  all,  I  did  but  find  in  memory. 

When  I  was  first  in  this  place  I  had  hurried 
past  a  deal  of  modern  growth  to  look  at  the  house 
where  the  Phillips  brothers  were,  in  the  early 
days,  shot  at  their  own  door,  and  at  various  points 
in  the  open  streets  where  brave  men  fought  and 
died  to  save  the  land  from  slavery,  and  going  on 
from  the  ground  where  they  had  fallen  —  early 
martyrs  to  a  cause  that  ripened  five  years  later — 
I  climbed  the  rugged  side  of  Pilot  Knob  to  see 
where  they  were  laid  to  their  final  rest.  It  is  the 
highest  land  between  the  Rocky  and  the  Eastern 
Mountains,  a  great  ridge  looming  up  in  these 
flats,  the  landmark  for  many  a  belated  hunter  or 
emigrant  train. 

Time1  s  obliterating  fingers  and  the  i i  march  of 
improvement,"  had  left  no  trace  of  the  spots 
where  they  had  fought  and  slept,  and  I  pondered 
through  the  night,  as  the  train  sped  away,  the 
pathetic  question  of  poor  old  "  Rip,"  "  Are  we 
then  so  soon  forgotten  when  we  are  gone  V '  and 
concluded  it  was  well  to  live  one's  life  from  day 
to  day,  since  there  is  not  only  none  in  the  grave, 
but  precious  little  memory  of  it,  though  it  be 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  243 

filled  by  what  has  eternally  forgotten  comfort  and 
happiness  and  personal  gain  and  present  pleasure 
for  the  welfare  of  others,  or  for  the  honor  or  love 
of  those  who  are  too  busy  with  their  present  to 
remember  what  has  been  done  or  endured  or 
gained  by  another  in  a  past  that  dates  back  but 
yesterday. 

LIIL 

I  wonder  what  the  people  out  in  the  country 
across  which  I  gazed  the  next  morning  think  of 
"  fame  and  future."  In  all  the  broad  expanse  no 
human  habitation  met  the  eye,  and  yet  there  were 
a  plenty  of  human  beings.  Through  this  inhos 
pitable  land,  where  stone  does  not  abound,  and 
wood  is  more  than  scarce,  and  storms  are  awful, 
the  people  who  are  here,  from  election  or  necessity 
-  road- workers  and  the  like  —  have  made  for 
themselves  "  dug  outs,"  which  being  interpreted 
signifies  they  have  burrowed  holes  in  the  ground, 
banked  these  over  with  the  thrown-out  earth, 
turfed  the  foot-high  roof,  and  so  found  them 
selves  "  at  home." 

As  I  looked  at  these,  there  came  before  me 
another  scene  :  the  James  River  in  the  summer  of 
'65  and  the  counterparts  of  these  same  hutches 


244  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

—kennels  where  our  men  had  taken  food  and 
shelter  while  working  on  the  fortifications,  shield 
ing  themselves  not  from  cold  but  -fiery  rain,  and  I 
thought  that  for  a  little  while,  at  least,  I  would 
like  to  change  the  view,  and  see  that  lovely  river 
and  its  beautiful  banks  now  that  long  years  of 
winter  storms  and  summer  suns  have  smoothed 
away  all  the  scars  of  Avar. 

But  in  that  case  I  would  have  lost  the  next 
morning' s  ride,  when,  a  few  hours  out  of  Denver, 
we  clambered  through  the. dusky  light  to  the  pilot 
of  the  engine  for  a  scud  never  to  be  forgotten. 

You  know  what  the  "  pilot "  is  ?  No  ?  Well, 
it  is  the  flat  edge,  a  foot  wide,  to  which  the  "  cow 
catcher"  is  attached,  and  the  crack  point  for  ob 
servation  of  the  train.  A  gorgeous  seat !  specially 
when  you  are  so  lucky  as  to  be  in  the  good  graces 
of  the  engineer  to  the  extent  of  the  bestowal  of  his 
leather  cushion,  which  is  the  last  and  only  touch 
needed  to  make  perfect  your  iron  perch. 

There  is  a  wonderful  sense  of  exhilaration  in 
riding  after  such  fashion  through  still  scenes  and 
quiet  landscapes.  Nothing  is  before  you,  nor  at 
your  side.  The  sky  for  covering,  the  surface  oi! 
things  "  all  ow-doors"  about  you,  the  great  mon 
sterchoo  !  choo  !  chooing  !  behind  you,  toiling  and 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  %±Z 

moiling  like  a  brawny  giant.  You,  flying 
through  the  air  without  sense  of  motion  save  that 
of  delight  and  ease. 

But  through  this  country  ! 

The  broad  swells,  dark  and  cold,  like  an  angry 
sea  spread  round  us,  clearing  as  we  gazed,  the  air 
crystalline,  the  freshness  of  morning  blowing  in 
our  faces  ;  the  sky  ! — a  slow  retreat  of  darkness 
on  the  one  hand,  a  steady  advance  of  soft  yet 
glowing  light  on  the  other.  Before  us  the  majes 
tic  mountain  line,  taking  shade  after  shade  of 
purple  and  amethyst  as  the  rising  sun  struck 
against  and  up  its  seams  and  canons. 

The  clouds,  drifted  up  and  down,  were  blown 
aside,  massed  themselves  together,  sometimes 
seeming  on  the  ground  from  which  the  stately 
peaks  lifted  as  from  a  base  of  fairy  land  ;  some 
times,  where  the  sun  burnished  them,  so  high  and 
white  and  shining  as  to  counterfeit  snow -clad 
summits,  and  leave  the  watcher  in  doubt  as  to 
which  indeed  was  mountain  and  which  its  cloud 
semblance. ; 

Colors  of  all  sorts  revealed  themselves  on  the 
face  of  the  range — a  rock  superb  in  its  native  hue 
without  the  help  of  air  or  cloud  effect,  a  deep  rich 
red,  Tyrian  purple  rather,  and  gradually,  beyond 


246  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

the  stretch  of  plain,  beyond  the  first  range  dense 
and  grand,  rose  in  the  air,  peak  after  peak  of  far 
ther  ranges  gleaming  with  the  sunrise  on  unmelt- 
ing  heads  of  snow. 

So  we  rode  for  hours,  seeing  neither  fence,  nor 
farm,  nor  house,  nor  human  being,  and  at  the 
Junction,  a  mile  outside  the  city,  scrambled  back 
to  our  "  Pallas"  car,  assumed  sublime  uncon 
sciousness  of  rampant  hair  and  grimy  hands,  and 
general  "towsle,"  and  rame  into  the  civilization 
of  a  town  in  civilized  shape. 

LIY. 

About  what  were  the  good  people  of  Denver 
thinking  when  they  planned  their  delightful  city 
at  right  angles!  Nowhere  can  you  stand  at 
doorway  or  window  and  get  an  unbroken  view  of 
the  magnificent  sweep  of  mountains.  Somewhere 
a  hindrance  of  chimney  or  spire,  or  even  cottage 
roof,  cuts  off  the  whole  marvellous  view. 

And  what  a  view  !  and  what  ether  through 
which  to  gaze  at  it. 

~No  one  who  has  not  seen  and  felt  it  can  have 
any  idea  of  this  atmosphere — clear,  crisp,  mag 
netic.  The  sky  deep  in  hue  as  sapphires,  often 
like  a  dome  of  lapis-lazuli,  the  clouds  masses  of 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER.  247 

dazzling  glory,  the  air  without  dimmings  of  mist 
or  vapor,  a  transparent  medium  of  light,  so  white 
and  resplendent  as  to  be  actually  painful  to  an  eye 
that  is  at  all  tired  or  weak.  (Remedy,  goggles, 
brown  and  big.  Never  travel  through  such  a 
country  without  them  if  you  would  be  absurdly 
hideous  and  luxuriously  comfortable.)  There  is 
no  use  in  trying  to  describe  these  sun  and  air 
effects,  one  might  as  well  endeavor  to  grasp  them 
in  one's  hand  and  so  hold  and  transmit  them,  as 
strive  to  send  them  to  another's  vision  from  the 
point  of  a  pen. 

One  afternoon  we  went  out  to  see  the  sun  set, 
driving  away  toward  the  ridge  on  the  eastern 
plains,  and  so  moving  fell  into  the  line  of  the 
sorrowful  procession  of  the  grave. 

It  was  all  out  of  place  !  There  are  spots  a  plenty 
on  the  face  of  the  earth  with  which  death  seems 
in  keeping,  and  looking  at  which  you  say,  this 
ground  was  made  for  graves — but  not  here. 

And  what  life  had  gone  before  this  ending  ! 

The  old,  old  story. 

A  young  girl,  beautiful,  accomplished,  help 
less—the  daughter  of  rich  and  well-bred  people  in 
St.  Louis.  Trusting,  betrayed,  abandoned,  her 
love  accounted  unto  her  for  crime,  outcast  striv 
ing  in  vain  to  reconquer  lost  ground,  thrust  from 


248  A   BAGGED  REGISTER. 

depth  to  depth,  till  in  a  few  years,  in  sight 
of  these  mountains,  and  on  such  a  bosom  of  na 
ture,  she  lies  down  to  her  last  sleep. 

As  I  looked  at  sky  and  mountain  and  plain— a 
heavenly  glory  —  and  then  at  the  gloomy  and 
contracted  confines  of  her  grave,  I  thought :  surely 
this  last  must  be  likeness  of  her  life  past ;  this 
first,  prototype  of  her  life  to  be. 

God  knows  all :  doubtless  she  has  tested  and 
proven  his  justice  to  be  more  infinitely  tender 
than  the  mercies  of  man.  So  thought  I,  turning 
from  the  sad  companionship  and  going  back  to 
the  delightful  town. 

LIY. 

Denver  is  so  charming  as  to  serve  as  a  trap  to 
hold  the  uninitiated  traveller  from  the  wonders 
beyond.  He  needs  energy  to  pack  his  bag  and 
scramble  for  the  "  narrow  gauge"  road  running 
south. 

A  curiosity  in  itself  is  this  little  road,  completed 
now  from  Denver  to  Alamosa,  with  the  intention 
of  pushing  it  through  to  the  city  of  Mexico  when 
permission  is  granted  by  Mexican  authority  to  lay 
the  rails  across  Mexican  soil — and  the  money  for 
stock  is  subscribed. 

Let  it  be  recorded  as  a  miracle  that  this  road 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER  249 

has  neither  asked  nor  received  government  aid. 
It  issues  no  passes,  demands  in  return  no  unjust 
favors,  and  tries  to  hold  its  own  honestly.  The 
capital  so  far  invested  in  it  is  mainly  English,  and 
the  most  agreeable  of  English  people  are  spread 
ing  themselves  throughout  this  region. 

An  ordinary  "  compromise  "  gauge  road  could 
never  have  been  accomplished.  Its  cost  would 
have  been  too  formidable.  The  width  of  such  an 
one  would  be  4  feet  10J  inches,  weight  of  iron  75 
Ibs.  to  the  yard,  length  of  cars  from  50  to  70 
feet.  Imagine  this  baby  road :  3  feet  wide  ; 
weight  of  iron  to  the  yard  of  rail,  30  Ibs. ;  length 
of  cars,  40  feet. 

The  right  sort  of  thing  where  money  is  scarce, 
and  uninhabited  land  scanty  of  travel,  and  freight 
age  plenty. 

The  right  sort  of  thing,  too,  for  steep  grading 
and  narrow  canons  and  mountain  passes,  since 
these  cars  can  be  switched  with  ease  round  curves 
that  would  swing  off  any  ordinary  train  to  de 
struction. 

The  right  sort  of  thing,  also  for  capitalists  to 
study  in  the  way  of  enterprise  and  economy,  now 
that  people  are  growing  restive  under  the  weight 
and  width  of  the  great  corporations. 


250  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

Or,  better  still,  that  first-class  mechanics  would 
do  well  to  ponder  and  work  from,  instead  of  serv 
ing  as  tools  in  the  hands  of  "  bloated  aristo 
crats."  Such  a  road  can  be  built,  as  part  of  this 
Denver  and  Rio  Grande  has  been  constructed,  as 
a  co-operative  enterprise,  anywhere. 

People  slip  down  this  D.  and  R.  G.  road  to  reach 
Colorado  Springs  and  the  weird-looking  places 
about  it. 

The  town  itself  is  admirably  located  for  a  water 
ing-place,  within  easy  drive  of  some  of  the  greatest 
wonders  of  this  strange  region,  "  The  Garden  of 
the  Gods,"  "  Glen  Eyre,"  "  Monument  Park," 
"Cheyenne  Canon,"  "  Manitou  Springs."  Over 
against  it  is  a  spur  thrust  out  from  the  second 
of  the  great  ranges,  with  Pike's  Peak  keeping- 
watch  over  all. 

LY. 

We  went  up  to  look  at  the  face  of  the  Peak 
and  its  revealings.  Scrambled  a]ong  a  narrow 
trail  for  a  dozen  miles  to  the  Alta  Laguna,  halted, 
kindled  an  enormous  fire  of  fallen  trees,  supped, 
stretched  ourselves  out  to  sleep,  or  to  lie  watching 
the  tall  white  trees  standing  in  serried  ranks 
along  the  sides  of  the  mountain,  the  dark  lines  of 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  251 

far-off  ridges  rising  against  the  quiet  sky,  the 
sky  seemingly  nearer,  the  stars  brighter  than 
those  looked  at  in  other  lands. 

Up  at  2. 30,  away,  away  through  timber  grow 
ing  thin,  till  at  five  o'clock,  eleven  thousand  feet 
above  the  sea,  we  saw  the  sun  rise,  and  reached 
timber  line  and  the  end  of  the  trail.  Plunged  off 
into  space  and  to  work  over  solid  masses  of  broken 
boulders  and  granite  till  at  last  at  eight  in  the 
morning  we  gained  the  summit. 

Can  I  tell  any  thing  about  it  ? 

Not  much. 

One  goes  to  the  top  of  a  mountain  for  emotions, 
not  descriptions. 

Can  I  make  you  see  it  ? 

Not  at  all. 

At  the  east  the  vast  stretch  of  plains,  purple 
like  a  great  sea.  To  the  south-east  and  south, 
two  long  stretches  of  mountains  finished  by  the 
stately  domes  of  the  Spanish  Peaks — one  hun 
dred  and  ten  miles  away.  To  the  south-west  and 
west,  fully  a  half-dozen  stupendous  ranges,  their 
imperial  heads  blazing  with  snow,  valleys  lying 
between,  silvery  lines  of  rivers  flowing  across,  and 
off  at  the  north-west  and  north,  still  the  moun 
tains,  headed  by  the  majestic  height  of  Long's 


252  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

Peak,  one  hundred  and  fifty  miles  away.  The 
four  great  points  of  Long's  Peak,  Grey's  Peak, 
Pike' s  Peak,  and  the  Spanish  Peaks,  making  a 
line  from  the  north-west  to  the  south-east,  we 
standing  on  one  of  them,  and  feeling  as  though 
God  were  very  near,  and  his  world,  poor  and 
small  as  we  are  accustomed  to  call  it,  a  thing  to 
awe  and  yet  elevate  the  looker-on  to  more  than  a 
level  with  the  angels. 

We  prowled  to  and  fro,  we  gazed  and  gazed 
again,  we  sat  here  and  there  on  the  edge  of  things, 
and  looked  across  creation,  or  straight  down  sheer 
precipices  of  two  thousand  feet ;  we  tore  ourselves 
away  at  the  end  of  three  hours,  and  plunged, 
plunged,  plunged  our  way  back  to  camping 
grooind  and  food  after  thirteen  hours  of  work  and 
fasting,  scrambled  into  saddle,  and  found  our 
selves  at  Manitou  at  midnight. 

LVL 

Mem. — Never  climb  without  a  lemon.  It  costs 
little.  It  weighs  lightly.  It  burthens  no  one 
even  in  this  thin  air.  Cut  in  two  and  devoured 
at  the  right  time,  it  is  the  most  absolute  refresh 
ment  and  the  most  stinging  and  staying  stimulant 
a  tired  climber  can  ever  know. 


A  MAGGED  REGISTER.  253 

LVIL 

You  are  weary  ?  You  really  want  as  well  as 
need  rest  and  refreshment  I  You  are  sure  you 
won't  hanker  after  the  fleshpots  of  hotels  and 
Saratoga  trunks  and  fal-lals  \  Well,  then,  do  as 
we  did. 

What  did  we  3 

Got  a  pair  of  good  beasties  and  comfortable 
vehicle,  clambered  into  it  cased  in  light  woollen 
garments  so  that  neither  sunnings  nor  wettings 
could  trouble  us,  with  substantial  hand-bags,  a 
bucket  to  water  the  horses  ;  some  lunch ;  some 
field-glasses,  and  divers  odds  and  ends  by  way  of 
baggage — and  made  for  the  Twin  Lakes  and 
"  Berry's." 

Rode  thirty-three  miles  the  first  day.  From 
Colorado  Springs  to  Manitou,  up  the  wild  Ute 
Pass  to  the  beautiful  open  country  beyond ; 
through  Hay  den's  Pass,  where  on  either  side  the 
road  nature  has  piled  a  vast  mass  of  boulders  to 
the  height  of  four  hundred  feet,  as  regularly  and 
symmetrically  as  though  done  by  a  mason's 
hand  ;  across  land  that  was  rich  and  prolific, 
though  we  had  started  at  an  elevation  of  six 
thousand  and  were  unconsciously  moving  along 


254  A  MAGGED  REGISTER. 

co  an  elevation  of  nine  thousand  feet,  and  toward 
sun-setting  turned  a  mile  or  so  from  the  line  of  our 
travel  to  see  some  petrified  stumps  of  trees. 

And  shall  never  forget  the  spot  where    they 
stood. 

A  place-like  an  enormous  basin,  the  sides  gently 
sloping  up  to  the  level  brim  all  around.  Short, 
soft  gray  grass  covering  the  ground.  Timber  on 
the  uplifted  surrounding  edge  miles  away,  each 
twig  and  leaf  of  which  stood  out  soft  yet  distinct 
as  an  i^ory  painting  in  one's  hand.  A  sky  and  air 
for  which  I  could  find  no  likeness  save  the 
"  pearly  clearness  of  the  Celestial  City,"  the  color 
ing  shot  through  it  reflected  from  the  clouds  and 
the  sunken  sun  making  a  "  light  that  never  was 
on  sea  or  land."  The  pallid  massive  stumps, 
ghostly  and  cold,  of  what  had  been  wood  ages 
before  the  deluge.  Not  a  sound.  Not  a  chirp  of 
cricket,  nor  stir  of  twig  or  leaf,  or  blade  of  grass, 
nor  whisper  of  bird.  Not  a  sight  or  vestige  of 
existence,  human  or  brute.  It  was  awful,  yet 
filled  with  enchantment. 

We  carried  its  exalted  spell  till  we  reached 
Costello's  jolly  hospitable  ranche,  with  its  queer 
little  rooms  lined  with  canvas  and  adorned  with 
innumerable  copies  of  illustrated  newspapers,  its 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  255 

huge  open  fireplace  made  of  petrified  wood,  its 
gorgeous  fire,  its  royal  supper,  and  yet  more  royal 
beds  of  sweet-smelling  straw. 

Don't  you  wish  you  knew  Judge  and  Madame 
Costello,  and  that  they  would  let  you  come  to 
their  ranche,  and  feed  you  and  talk  to  you,  and 
make  you  happy,  and  at  departing  allow  you 
to  capture  from  the  muse  am  on  their  open  ver 
anda  some  antelope-horns  or  deer-horns,  or  horns 
of  Rocky  Mountain  sheep,  mineral  specimens  or 
petrified  wood ? 

If  you  don't,  it  is  because  you  are  a  poor  be 
nighted  mortal,  with  no  knowledge  of  what  you 
are  rejecting. 

We  meandered  away  from  it  with  reluctance, 
though  we  had  before  us  some  long  heavenly 
days  of  driving  across  the  South  Park,  and  over 
the  Arkansas  Divide. 

LYITI. 

The  Arkansas  Divide. 

Ah! 

Early  one  morning,  after  an  ascent  of  five  miles 
of  steep  mountain  road,  wild,  tangled  and  beau 
tiful,  at  an  elevation  of  9475  feet,  what  a  sight 
burst  upon  us — the  greatest  our  eyes  ever  be- 


256  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

held  ;  the  finest,  probably,  they  ever  will  behold 
in  life. 

Behind  us,  noble  mountains  dwarfed  by  what 
was  opposite.  A  descent  to  the  broad  lovely  val 
ley  of  the  Arkansas,  the  river  fringed  with 
greenery,  gleaming  in  its  midst.  Over  against 
us  the  vast  lift  of  the  backbone  of  the  continent 
—the  great  main  range  of  the  Rocky  Mountains, 
its  white  rock  turned  to  pale  pink  and  warm  light 
amethyst  in  the  sun,  its  dazzling  heads  thirteen, 
fourteen,  fifteen  thousand  feet  high,  majestic 
and  overwhelming  in  their  proportions  rather  than 
beautiful,  though  with  one  great  peak  balanced 
on  either  side  by  lower  ones — a  single  mountain, 
the  most  tremendous  and  at  the  same  time  grace 
ful  and  symmetrical  object  that  ever  filled  my 
vision. 

LIX. 

We  drove  in  face  of  these  for  some  miles,  down 
the  slope  of  the  Divide  to  the  Valley,  then 
straight  north,  the  mountains  on  one  hand,  the 
river  on  the  other,  into  wild  and  savage  canons, 
out  of  them  across  wider  spaces,  finally  quitting 
the  river  and  following  up  Trout  Creek  to  Berry's 
ranche  and  the  Twin  Lakes— lakes  that  lie  at  the 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  257 

base  of  ranges  themselves  9130  feet  above  the  level 
of  the  sea,  between  two  and  three  miles  in  length, 
of  the  same  depth— seventy -five  feet— almost  alike 
in  shape  and  size,  and  connected  by  a  narrow  yet 
deep  channel. 

"  Berry's"  is  a  place  at  which  to  stop,  with  its 
hewn  logs  without  and  great  whole  logs  for  raft 
ers  within,  its  walls  and  ceilings  papered  with 
Harper's  Magazine,  its  floors  and  doors  of 
dressed  pine  that  looks  like  the  most  exquisite 
satin,  floors  bare  save  for  some  bear- skins,  its 
quaint  home-made  tables  and  rocking-chairs,  its 
beds  of  straw  on  boxes,  its  big  open  fireplace  and 
great  fire,  and  its  roof—  a  roof  made  of  fruit- 
cans  baked,  opened,  flattened,  lapped  one  over 
the  other— that  no  storm  can  penetrate  ;  yes,  and 
its  trout  and  green  peas,  and  its  mistress  shrewd 
as  she  is  kind. 

Back  of  the  Twin  Lakes  among  the  giants  stands 
Mt.  Elbert,  whose  shoulders  we  desired  to  climb 
but  wished  to  spare  our  own  means  of  locomotion. 

How  to  do  it— for  there  were  no  horses  at 
Berry's  and  Berry's  filled  the  bill. 

No  ;    fortunately  for  us  two  miles    away  was 
the  camp   of  the   Marshall  scientific  party,   the 
learned  men  absent,  and  the  camp  in  possession 
17 


258  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

of  the  unlearned  and  obliging  ;  otherwise,  some 
of  the  guides  and  attendants. 

To  it  we  tramped,  held  a  pow-wow  with  the  one 
left  in  authority,  resulting  in  7iis  appearance 
early  the  next  morning  in  company  with  a  scout 
and  six  strong,  tall,  long  -  legged,  intelligent, 
friendly  mules,  branded  IT.  S. 

Our  guide,  Standefer  by  name,  was  a  specimen 
of  frontier  growth  in  full  bloom — a  man  who  had 
lived  his  life,  since  as  a  boy  he  quitted  Texas, 
among  the  mountains,  hunting  or  guiding  when 
not  engaged  in  the,  to  him,  far  more  satisfactory 
labor  of  killing  Indians.  He  had  fought  over  the 
whole  face  of  this  great  country,  had  served  the 
Government  as  scout  and  spy,  was  in  the  first  of 
the  Modoc  war,  and  at  date  was  looking  after  the 
welfare  of  science  as  embodied  in  the  Marshall 
party. 

He  was  dark  as  an  Indian,  with  dead-black  hair 
and  eyes  to  match.  He  knew  all  that  nature 
would  reveal  to  close  scrutiny.  Straight  as  an 
arrow,  hard  as  iron,  tough  as  leather.  Rode  at  a 
dead  run  without  touching  bridle.  Would  fire  at 
a  bird  on  the  wing  and  pick  up  his  game  as  his 
animal  flew  by. 

Luckily,  he  could  scent  the  way  where  trail  was 


A  RAGGED   REGISTER.  259 

none.  Up  the  first  of  our  ride  was  a  species  of  one 
that  no  eye  untrained  to  such  life  could  find,  so 
dim  it  was  and  so  little  used.  Steep— so  steep  in 
places  as  to  give  you  the  sensation  of  being  sus 
pended  in  mid-air  ;  by  and  by  running  into  a 
forest  of  aspen  trees  so  low  and  close  as  to  compel 
you  to  duck  your  head  until  you  found  it  con 
venient  to  lie  along  the  neck  of  your  beastie  all 
the  time,  unless  you  wished  to  be  made  a  torso. 
Under  foot,  stretched  at  length,  the  enormous 
trunks  of  fallen  trees— a  path  to  exhaust  an  ath 
lete  in  an  hour,  but  over  which  our  sure-footed 
mules  skipped  like  grasshoppers. 

This  timber  growth  is  something  amazing, 
standing  green  and  strong  and  beautiful  at  an 
altitude  at  which  in  other  lands  all  life  is  done, 
and  even  when  it  ceases  lovely  flowers  and  thick 
green  grass  bloom  where  elsewhere  naught  is  to 
be  seen  save  deathly  glaciers. 

We  climbed  on  and  on,  the  mules  panting  a 
little,  but  not  seeming  to  suffer,  over  one  moun 
tain,  along  the  rugged  brow  of  another,  to  the 
final  ascent,  stony  and  steep,  a  mass  of  boulders 
and  broken  rocks,  and  so  at  last  to  the  top. 

Behind  us  the  scene  was  one  to  be  paralleled  by 
other  mountain  experiences — but  before  3 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

Looking  to  the  west  and  north-west  it  was  as 
though  the  world  were  a  sea.  From  this  height 
no  plains  nor  valleys  nor  open  spaces  could  be 
seen,  just  billows  stretching  beyond  billows  of 
these  august  swells.  Heads  that  stood  thirteen 
thousand  feet,  below  us.  Everlasting  snows,  be 
low  us.  More  than  fifty  above  fourteen  thousand 
feet,  thrust  up  grandly  about  us  ;  over  against  us 
a  shining  splendor  called  "Snow  Mass,"  that 
fairly  blinded  us  as  we  gazed. 

Above  all  this,  heavy  clouds  began  to  grow  and 
slowly  settled  down,  making  a  sombre  veil  out  of 
which  huge  uncertain  forms  loomed  awfully 
grand,  and  finally  closing  them  from  our  sight. 

On  which  we  fell  to  the  commonplace  duty  of 
devouring  our  lunch  with  avidity,  and  the  not 
commonplace  delight  of  rolling  off  huge  boulders 
and  watching  them  as  they  fell,  finally  turning 
our  feet  downward.  Nobody  was  eager  to  mount 
a  mule  and  ride  off  the  cone.  So  we  went  our 
ways,  and  the  animals  went  theirs  peacefully 
enough  before  us. 

Let  a  mule  go— and  he  goes. 

Try  to  drag  him —  ! 

In  the  evening,  on  our  return,  going  into  the 
kitchen  for  some  hot  water,  I  found  a  gracious- 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER.  201 

mannered,  Latin  speaking  youth  who  had  asked 
to  join  our  party  that  morning,  "  peart  as  a 
cricket"  after  his  day's  tamp,  and  diligently 
cooking  our  suppers. 

He  was  one  of  a  small  army  of  young  men  to  be 
found  in  that  country — civil  engineers  out  of 
work,  miners,  hunters,  intended  settlers,  nearly 
always  bright  and  well  informed,  short  of  money, 
not  wanting  to  turn  back,  in  love  with  this  wild 
life,  thinking  they  have  all  time  before  them, 
and  so  well  content  to  spend  a  little  of  it  without 
care  and  in  glorious  health,  "squatting"  with 
some  family,  cooking  and  making  themselves 
"  generally  useful  " — ready  for  what  may  be  be 
yond. 

LX. 

If  there  had  been  no  Mt.  Lincoln  to  see,  I  know 
not  how  long  we  would  have  staid  at  Berry's,  but 
to  Mt.  Lincoln  we  at  last  went :  back  across  the 
Divide  and  the  northern  part  of  the  park  to  Fair- 
play,  Dudley,  donkeys,  mountain  road,  moun 
tain  top.  Lincoln  is  one  mass  of  silver  ore,  and 
we  wanted  to  see  a  mine  "  in  the  sky." 

Think  of  delving  fourteen  thousand  feet  above 
the  sea  !  More  than  twice  the  altitude  of  Wash- 


262  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

ington,  with  nnmelting  snows  below  it,  and  clouds 
brushing  in  and  out  of  it,  each  storm  that 
touched  it  causing  electricity  to  pull  at  the  work 
er's  or  observer's  hair  like  a  human  hand.  Think 
of  men  living  and  toiling  and  enjoying  themselves 
at  a  height  where  in  Europe  all  life  would  be  sus 
pended  ! 

We  watched  the  miners  drilling  and  blasting, 
and  saw  that  the  men— splendid  specimens  of 
physical  vigor— who  wielded  the  heavy  sledges 
had  to  stop  and  rest  for  a  breath  at  every  two 
dozen  or  so  of  blows,  though  they  seemed  to  suf 
fer  in  no  other  way. 

When  you  stand  still  or  move  slowly  in  this 
atmosphere,  you  experience  no  difficulty  of  breath 
ing,  and  do  not  realize  how  high  and  thin  it  is, 
till  you  run  or  make  some  exertion  ;  then  your 
heart  tries  to  fly  out  of  your  mouth  and  your 
lungs  work  like  bellows. 

I  found  tliat  on  Grey's  Peak,  where  there  was 
plenty  of  "footing  it"  to  be  done— and  oh! 
wouldn't  I  like  to  do  it  over,  dinner  at  George 
town  with  dear  old  "  Commodore  Decatur," 
known  and  loved  of  venturesome  travellers — 
Charley  Utter  and  all  ! 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  263 

LXI. 

Charley  Utter  is  a  hunter  and  guide,  and  may 
be  you  are  not  to  be  accounted  one  of  the  lucky 
ones  if  you  get  Mm  to  lead  the  way  ! 

I  had  been  up  Grey's  Peak  and  many  another 
peak  in  the  daylight,  but  wished  to  journey  up 
it  in  the  night,  and  watch  the  sun  rise  from  its  aw 
ful  height,  and  to  Charley  Utter's  we  went  to  find 
a  companion  and  guide. 

How  little  Eastern  people  know  of  these  hunt 
ers  and  mountaineers  !  They  imagine  a  yelling, 
drinking,  fighting,  half -Indian  crew.  Charley 
will  serve  as  a  specimen  of  the  reality. 

Short  and  slight,  with  long  blonde  curling 
hair,  blue  eyes  that  look  at  you  fearlessly  and 
through  you  searchingly,  a  wide-brimmed  slouch 
hat,  moccasins  and  Indian  leggins,  a  red  flannel 
shirt  with  embroidered  collar  and  cuffs,  a  short 
loose  coat,  a  broad  belt  with  bowie  knife,  pistols, 
a  tomahawk  stuck  into  it. 

There  he  is. 

Chary  of  speech,  soft-voiced,  abstemious  of 
habit,  gentle-mannered,  thoughtful  of  every  one, 
tender-hearted,  his  eyes  filled  with  nature,  his 
soul  feeling  it,  and  showing  itself  through  quaint 


2^4  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

broken  sentences,  delighting  in  talk  that  touches 
the  heart  of  things,  or  that  concerns  the  lives  of 
the  great  ones  of  the  earth,  over  which  he  has 
pored  and  dreamed  by  his  camp  fires. 

There  he  is  too. 

We  found  him  not  in  his  pretty  cottage  home— 
and  thereby  hangs  a  tale  worth  the  telling. 

There  came  to  Georgetown  a  professional  man 
with  his  wife,  poor,  broken  in  health,  houses 
scarce  and  rent  high.  Out  of  his  cottage  turned 
Charley,  making  it  over  to  his  neighbor  from 
afar,  rent  free,  and  himself  pre-empting  an  old 
cabin  consisting  of  one  big  room  proceeded  to 
camp  for  the  summer.. 

What  a  picture  we  found  the  room,  with  the 
sloping  roof,  Jog  walls  and  shining  white  floor, 
one  corner  serving  as  kitchen,  one  as  dining-room, 
and  a  very  pretty  dining-room  too  ;  the  third  given 
over  to  a  picturesque  bed  and  shelves  built  into  the 
walls,  from  which  shone  glimpses  of  lace  and  In 
dian  embroidery  adorning  bright-hued  garments  ; 
a  charming  bit  of  drawing-room  revealed  in 
the  fourth,  with  its  square  of  velvet  carpet,  its 
table  loaded  with  books,  its  cosy  chairs  and  pretty 
ornaments,  the  walls  hung  with  pistols,  rifles, 
tomahawks,  bows  and  arrows,  interspersed  with 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  2G5 

pictures.  Presiding  over  all,  Mrs.  Utter,  a  beau 
tiful  dark  girl,  with  brilliant  yet  soft  color,  large 
lovely  brown  eyes,  a  mass  of  rich  black  hair  fall 
ing  over  her  shoulders,  a  velvet  jacket  and  pur 
ple  skirt  covering  her  :  twenty-two,  and  married 
for  seven  years  ! 

LXII. 

Well,  Charley  took  us  in  hand,  marshalled  us 
out  of  Georgetown  and  up  to  timber  line  and 
supper,  with  a  few  hours'  sleep  following,  and 
had  us  in  our  saddles  at  two  of  the  morning. 

What  a  ride  !  The  clouds  had  broken  away, 
and  the  moon,  full  and  splendid,  was  shining 
overhead,  the  gauziest  of  vapors  making  about  it 
an  enormous  circle  of  delicate  rainbow  tints.  The 
ground  was  white  with  snow,  fresh  as  though 
newly  fallen  on  the  rough  broken  granite,  the 
unevennesses  beneath  making  its  frozen  surface 
far  more  glitteringly  beautiful  than  it  could  have 
been  on  level  ground.  The  night  was  still  as 
great  heights,  and  bitter  cold,  and  absolute  soli 
tude  could  make  it. 

We  circled  the  dome  of  one  and  another  moun 
tain,  and  journeyed  past  the  harsh  wall  of  a  third, 
its  lines  and  gorges  brought  into  bold  relief  by 


206  A  RAGGED  REG  IS  TEE. 

their  fleecy  covering ;  these  all  past,  their  huge 
bulks  turning  to  insignificant  cones  below  us,  we 
were  fairly  out  on  the  bleak,  white,  frozen  height 
toward  whose  top  our  mules  were  slowly  climbing, 
slipping  and  stopping  for  breath,  yet  sure  of 
foot  as  Fate  itself,  in  the  end. 

No  Christmas  morning  below  was  ever  half  so 
cold  as  we  found  that  top,  and  the  wind  would 
have  blown  our  skins  off  had  we  not  flattened 
ourselves  on  the  inhospitable  peak  that  would 
yield  us  no  suggestion  of  shelter.  Here,  numb 
yet  eager,  we  gazed  at  the  sky  overhead,  the 
moon,  the  ghostly  outlines  of  near  mountains,  and 
with  infinite  anxiety  at  the  shadowy  space  of  the 
eastern  sky. 

Slowly  the  crimson  ball  lifted  itself  above  the 
long  black  line  of  the  horizon. 

Under  it  —  to  the  east — the  plains  stretched 
away  a  deep  misty  blue,  cut  by  the  glittering 
golden  line  of  the  Platte.  Northward  the  ragged 
lines  of  the  Boulder  Hills,  their  purple  edges, 
jagged  like  enormous  saws,  revealed  against  an 
amber  sky.  Off  at  the  south  and  west,  first  one 
then  another  and  another,  and  yet  another,  vast, 
solemn,  majestic,  range  after  range  of  the  mount 
ains  of  eternal  snow. 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  207 

A  superhuman  revealing. 

First  darkness.  Then  shadows  that  shift — are 
there  and  not  there.  Presently  out  of  these, 
here  and  there  a  peak  defined,  followed  in  a 
breath  by  the  long  line,  white  with  a  sort  of  pre 
ternatural  glory,  lying  up  against  the  sky  like  a 
splendor  of  clouds,  but  showing  the  clear  space 
behind  them,  their  enormous  bulks  gradually  com 
ing  out  through  the  vanishing  darkness  below. 

Away  behind  us  stood  the  vast  pile  of  Pike's 
Peak,  a  mass  of  glowing  yet  delicate  violet,  bal 
anced  by  the  gigantic  line  of  mountains  at  the 
west,  among  them  the  Mount  of  the  Holy  Cross, 
on  whose  black  face  a  chasm  of  fifteen  hundred 
feet  held  snow  white  and  clear,  in  the  shape  of 
the  divine  ignominy.  Still  beyond  this,  in  what 
seemed  else  all  open  space,  the  spirit-like  outline 
of  a  mountain  that  looked  so  stupendous  and 
dark  as  to  make  one  shiver  as  one  gazed.  I 
watched  and  watched  for  long  before  discovering 
it  to  be  the  shadow  of  Grey's  Peak  on  which  we 
stood. 

Conceive  a  shadow  two  hundred  miles  long, 
cast  over  against  the  sky,  in  seeming  like  a  solid 
mountain,  behind  others  so  tremendous  as  to  be 
overwhelming  ! 


•268  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

It  was  like  the  dawn  of  creation  to  watch.  It 
was  as  though  the  Almighty  were  calling  the 
muster-roll  of  form,  and  peak  after  peak  answer 
ing  in  turn  and  taking  its  place,  as  though  it  had 
never  been  taken  before  but  were  to  be  held  now 
forever. 

If  it  had  "  staid  just  so,"  we  would  probably 
have  staid  till  we  were  petrified  or  blown  away. 
Fortunately  for  overwrought  emotions  and  frozen 
bodies  it  didn't,  so  that  at  last  we  were  satisfied  to 
take  to  our  feet  and  plunge  downward  a  half  doz 
en  miles  to  the  Kelso  cabin  and  a  breakfast  that 
disappeared  as  though  fallen  upon  by  wolves, 
after  which  we  deigned  to  mount  our  mules  and 
pace  away  in  a  respectable  and  comfortably  com 
monplace  state  of  mind. 

LXIIL 

That  would  have  been  our  last  climb  for  the 
summer  had  we  not  been  taken  in  hand  by  the 
Hay  den  party,  thereby  gaining  the  experience  and 
memory  of  Long's  Peak,  and  the  companionship 
through  a  few  days  of  men  who  ought  to  be  im 
mortal  if  superhuman  perseverance  and  courage 
are  guarantees  of  immortality. 

What  a  pair  of  heads  had  that  party  !  Hay- 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  269 

den,  tall,  slender,  with  soft  brown  hair  and  blue 
eyes — certainly  not  travelling  on  his  muscle ; 
all  nervous  intensity  and  feeling,  a  perfect  enthu 
siast  in  his  work,  eager  of  face  and  voice,  full 
of  magnetism.  Gardner,  shorter,  stouter,  with 
amber  eyes  and  hair  like  gold,  less  quick  and 
tense,  yet  made  of  the  stuff  that  takes  and 
holds  on. 

I  remember  that  after  supper  when  we  were 
camping  at  timber  line,  Gardner  took  one  of 
his  instruments  and  trotted  up  the  side  of  the 
mountain  to  make  some  observations.  He  ex 
pected  to  be  gone  half  an  hour,  and  was  gone, 
by  reason  of  the  clouds,  nearer  three  hours,  ' '  but, ' ' 
as  he  quietly  said  when  he  came  back,  speaking 
of  the  clouds,  "  I  conquered  them  at  last." 

I  looked  at  him,  and  at  all  the  little  party,  with 
ardent  curiosity  and  admiration,  braving  rain, 
snow,  sleet,  hail,  hunger,  thirst,  exposure,  bitter 
nights,  snowy  climbs,  dangers  of  death — some 
times  a  score  on  a  single  mountain — for  the  sake 
not  of  a  so-called  great  cause,  nor  in  hot  blood, 
but  with  still  patience  and  unwearied  energy  for 
an  abstract  science — no  more,  since  the  majority 
cannot  work  even  for  fame. 

We  sat  around  the  great  fire  that  was  kept 


270  A  RAGGED  EEGISTER. 

heaped  with  the  whole  trunks  of  dead  trees,  and 
watched  the  splendors  of  sun-setting  till  they  were 
all  gone,  and,  these  vanished,  still  sat  on  by  the 
blazing  fire  circled  by  the  solemn  stately  majes 
ties,  talking  of  many  things —strange  stories  of 
adventure  in  mountain  and  gorge,  climbs  through 
which  a  score  of  times  life  had  been  suspended 
simply  on  strength  of  fingers,  or  nice  poise  on  a 
hand-ledge  thrust  out  into  eternity,  wild  tales 
of  frontier  struggles — intricacies  of  science,  dis 
cussions  of  human  life  and  experience  in  crowded 
cities,  devotion  and  enthusiasm  as  shown  in  any 
cause — all  things,  in  fact,  that  touch  the  brain  and 
soul,  the  heart  and  life,  of  mortals  who  really 
live,  and  do  not  merely  exist. 

A  talk  worth  climbing  that  height  to  have  and 
to  hold. 

One  that  was  renewed  two  days  later  when, 
the  mountain  being  "  done,"  we  found  ourselves 
in  Este's  Park  at  "  Evans's,"  in  front  of  a  crack 
ling  wood  fire,  with  time  a  plenty  for  confabula 
tion,  a  confabulation  that  was  made  more  "  pe- 
cooliar"  by  the  presence  of  "  Rocky  Mountain 
Jim,"  who,  having  peregrinated  up  to  see  us,  sat 
contentedly  and  looked  at  us  with  his  one  brigh* 
eye,  finally  in  quaint  language  and  with  concise 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER.  271 

vividness  narrating  many  a  tale  of  bear  and  other 
desperate  fights,  one  of  which  had  two  years  be 
fore  nearly  ended  his  days — had  broken  his  right 
arm,  stove  in  three  ribs,  torn  out  his  left  eye, 
and  "  chawed"  him  up  generally,  and  yet  left 
spirit  and  grit  enough  to  tell  a  good  story  well 
and  to  get  through  a  close  shave  bravely. 

LXIV. 

Did  1  tell  them  of  queer  people  and  strange  ex 
periences  ? 

Yes,  indeed,  did  I. 

Can  I  recall  them  now  ? 

No — yes.  One  I  remember,  because  it  was  the 
very  most  inexplicable  affair  that  ever  befell — no, 
did  not  befall — but  that  ever  came  to  me  ' '  second 
hand;  almost  as  good  as  new.'' 

Found  myself  one  day  at  a  certain  town,  with 
' '  no  connection' '  till  five  of  the  afternoon — a  train 
that  might  make  sixteen  miles  an  hour  with 
ninety -six  miles  to  get  over.  Due  on  the  plat 
form  at  7.30.  That  wouldn'  t  do.  So  of  course  I 
had  to  have  a  "  special." 

Place  and  time — Central  Iowa,  some  years  ago. 
Country,  just  flat  plain,  not  the  rolling  prairie 
land  lying  farther  west ;  no  towns,  few  villages* 


272  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

fenceless,  treeless  ;  a  speck  of  any  thing  easily  seen 
afar  had  any  speck  existed. 

Even  the  ties  were  without  incident.  One  after 
another,  one  after  another,  all  alike — same  length, 
striking  family  resemblance,  lying  on  the  even 
ground  without  so  much  as  a  ditch  at  the  side  to 
break  the  monotony. 

Nothing  of  interest  without,  so  I  turned  my 
eyes  to  inspect  what  might  be  found  within. 
They  are  generally  wide  open  when  they  are  to 
look  at  machines  or  machinists. 

I  have  travelled  behind  engines  and  on  them 
by  thousands,  and  have  walked  about  and  ques 
tioned  and  gazed  and  examined  them  pretty  thor 
oughly,  but  always  with  fresh  wonder  and  admi 
ration.  Strong  as  Titans,  obedient  as  slaves- 
simple,  complicated — helpful,  merciless — beauti 
ful,  yet  terrible. 

And  I  never  look  at  them  without  wrondering 
what  manner  of  world  this  will  be  when  some  one 
learns  how  to  utilize  not  one  hundred,  nor  fifty, 
but  even  fifteen  per  cent  of  steam. 

As  to  their  manipulators  :  fools  don't  abound 
among  them.  A  man  needs  brains  and  logic  to 
be  a  good  machinist.  I  like  to  watch  a  first-class 
one  listen  to  an  argument  on  a  subject  with  which 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  273 

he  may  be  ever  so  unfamiliar.  He  sees  the  flaws, 
and  knows  where  the  screws  are  loose,  and  the 
sequence  is  broken,  and  the  point  overlooked  or 
bunglingiy  made,  better — half  the  time  —  than 
the  combatants,  though  they  be  no  mean  ones. 

If  a  man  knows  a  machine  he  knows  how  to 
argue  from  cause  to  effect  step  by  step  of  the  way, 
and  he  isn't  easily  "bamboozled,"  and  there's 
precious  little  "  nonsense"  about  him. 

My  engineer  was  one  of  the  right  sort.  A 
clear-eyed,  intelligent,  wide-awake  young  fellow 
from  New  England— the  last  man  in  the  world 
you  would  suspect  of  either  drink  or  supersti 
tious  flim-flams. 

He  was  explaining  to  me  some  of  the  mechan 
ism,  when,  with  his  right  hand  on  the  lever,  he 
suddenly  paused,  threw  himself  half  out  of  the 
little  window,  gazed  a  moment  up  the  track,  then, 
turning  away  his  head  with  his  left  hand  thrust 
before  it  as  though  shutting  out  some  nwful  vis 
ion,  drove  on. 

There  was  no  mistaking  the  attitude  and  its 
meaning. 

u  You  have  run  over  some  one  here,"  said  I. 

"  Yes — no — I  don't  know,"  he  answered. 

His  fireman  seemed  to  notice  neither  action  nor 
18 


274  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

answer.  I  gazed  at  both  with  amazement  akin 
to  horror.  "  Am  I  rushing  through  space  forty 
miles  an  hour  in  the  keeping  of  two  madmen  ?" 
thought  I.  "  Let  us  see.' ' 

"  You  don't  know  ?" 

"I  don't  wonder  you  look,"  said  he,  "and 
ask  too.  Will  you  just  kindly  oblige  me  by  telling 
if  you  saw  any  thing  off  at  the  right  2" 

"  Nothing,"  said  I,  "  but  open  plain." 

"Nor  ahead  of  us  2" 

"  Nothing  but  level  track." 

"  Nor  behind  us  ?    Did  you  look  back  ?' ' 

"  Yes,  I  looked  back.  There  was  nothing  but 
track  and  plain." 

"  I  knew  it,"  said  he,  "knew  it  just  as  well 
before  I  asked  as  afterward,  but  couldn't  help 
asking.  Do  you  think  that's  queer  ?" 

"  I  think  you  are  troubled.  That  is  more  to  the 
purpose.  Do  you  mind  my  asking  what  has 
troubled  you  ?•" 

"  Do  I  mind  ?  Don't  I  just  want  to  tell  you 
and  see  what  you  can  make  of  it ;"  and  he  drew 
his  hand  over  his  forehead  and  across  his  clear 
eyes  as  though  "it"  were  a  nightmare  that 
threatened  to  ?mmake  him.  "  It  beats  me." 

"I  wouldn't  let  it,"  smiling  to  cheer  his  dis- 


A  BAGGED  REGISTER.  275 

tressed  face.  "  You  are  too  broad-shouldered  to 
stand  that  sort  of  treatment  from  any  thing,"  at 
which  he  laughed  a  little,  and  the  fireman  en 
couragingly  remarked,  "You  just  pitch  in, 
Xed  ;"  and  Ned  «  pitched  in." 

"  As  for  a  story — it  isn't  much  of  a  story  you'll 
say — but— well !  You  see  as  I  was  coming  down 
the  road  the  other  day  —  a  good  two  weeks 
ago  now — a  road  I've  been  over  hundreds  of 
times  and  know  every  foot  of  it,  I  saw,  off  there 
at  the  right,  instead  of  that  pancake  region,  reg 
ular  hilly  country,  wild  and  green- looking,  plenty 
of  trees,  and  among  them,  on  top  of  a  sort  of 
ridge,  there  was  a  shambling  tavern  painted  red. 

"  It  was  growing  dusky,  and  I  could  see  lights 
in  the  tavern,  and  hear  loud  voices  laughing  and 
rowing.  Directly  a  fellow  came  plunging  out  of 
the  door  with  his  hat  off,  a  flannel  shirt  unbut 
toned  at  the  throat,  and  one  sleeve  loose  and 
hanging,  holding  a  whiskey -bottle.  He  reeled 
down  the  hill,  stumbled  and  stumbled,  struck  his 
foot  against  a  log  near  the  bottom,  and  pitched 
forward  into  the  ditch  and  half  across  the  track. 

"  I  saw  what  was  coming,  and  had  whistled 
down  brakes  and  reversed  the  engine.  The  man 
could  have  got  on  to  his  feet  easy  enough  if  it 


276  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

hadn't  been  for  his  cursed  whiskey -bottle  ;  but  he 
grabbed  it,  and  held  it  up  so  as  to  save  it,  and 
couldn't  get  his  balance  of  course  without  both 
hands,  and  so  pitched  forward  again,  this  time 
flat  across  the  rails  and  we  went  over  him. 

"  It  was  all  done  in  a  minute,  you  see,  and  the 
train  stopped,  and  I,  staring  at  Jim  here,  and  he 
at  me. 

"  '  What  did  you  do  that  for  ?'  said  Jim,  <  jerk 
ing  her  up  like  that  for  nothing.' 

"  '  My  God  !  man,  run  over  a  human  creature, 
and  mash  the  breath  out  of  him,  and  then  ask 
what  I  stop  the  train  for  ? 

"  i  Run  over  a  man  !'  cried  Jim.  '  Are  you 
crazy  or  drunk  ?'  but  I  didn't  wait  to  answer.  I 
streaked  up  the  track  to  where  the  conductor  was 
out,  and  the  brakesmen,  and  the  passengers  all 
had  their  heads  out  of  the  windows,  and  Jim 
after  me,  and  everybody  wanting  to  know  what 
was  the  matter,  and  there — well !  you  know  just 
as  well  as  I,  there  was  the  open  country  and  the 
track  all  flat  as  my  hand,  and  nothing  else  near 
or  far  to  be  seen. 

"Drunk?  No,  I  wasn't  drunk.  I  don't 
drink — ever.  And  it  happened  just  so  ?"  turning 
to  Jim. 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER.  27? 

c<  Just— exactly—so,"  assented  the  sooty  fire 
man. 

"  Yes,  just,  exactly  so,"  echoed  the  engineer, 
"  and  just  exactly  so  I've  seen  it  every  day— and 
done  it,  regular,  since  then.  And  I  can't  stand 
it  much  longer.  I've  got  to  quit.  Look  at  that" 
— holding  up  his  strong  hand  that  was  shaking 
in  a  way  that  didn't  belong  to  its  muscles,  nor  to 
the  clear  blue  eyes  that  had  no  drink  nor  craze  in 
them.  ' '  Maybe  I  can  make  a  change  with  a  friend 
of  mine  who  wants  to  come  west.  Any  way,  I'm 
going  to  get  out  of  here,  lively," 

I  sat  and  pondered. 

"  Do  you  believe  me  V  •  said  he. 

"  Believe  you  \  Of  course  I  do.  I'm  not  a 
fool.  I  know  when  a  man  has  truth  in  his  face, 
and  you've  got  truth  in  yours — voice,  too,  for 
that  matter." 

He  smiled  and  thrust  out  his  grimy  fist.  "  I'd 
like  to  shake  hands  with  you  for  that— if  you 
don't  care." 

"  But  I  do  care,"  said  I,  smiling  in  turn.  So 
we  shook  hands. 

"  Can  you  explain  it  f 

"  jS"o — no  more  than  I  can  tell  you  how  a  flower 
grows." 


278  A   RAGGED   REGISTER. 

We  reached  our  destination  and  each  went  his 
and  her  way,  and  so  far  as  I  knew  there  was  an 
end  of  mystery  and  explanation. 

Five  years  afterward  I  was  at  New  Brunswick 
aiming  for  the  ten  o'  clock  train  to  Philadelphia. 

"  Drawing-room  car?"  called  I,  as  I  ran  down 
the  long  dark  platform. 

"  Drawing-room  car  this  way!"  was  shouted 
from  the  rear  blackness. 

"Ah,  is  it  you,  Miss  Dickinson?  Plenty  of 
room  to-night,"  and  I  scrambled  in. 

About  every  official  and  employee  on  the  road 
knows  me.  So  I  turned  to  see  with  which  con 
ductor  I  was  going  over,  but  did  not  recognize 
him. 

"  You  don1 1  know  me?" 

1 '  No, ' '  said  I,  yet  found  something  familiar  in 
face  or  voice.  ' c  You  are  a  new  man  ? ' ' 

( '  Yes, ' '  he  answered. 

"Let  me  see!  Let  me  see!"  thought  I.  I 
don't  like  to  be  thwarted.  I  always  remember 
people's  faces  and  always  forget  their  names — I 
could  forget  my  own  —  "  WJio  is  he?  When, 
where  did  I  ever  travel  with  him  ?" 

"  You  were  not  a  conductor  when  I  saw  you 
before.  I  am  sure  of  that, "  I  ventured. 


A   RAGGED  REGISTER.  279 

He  laughed  at  my  puzzled  face  and  answered, 
"  You're  right  there.'5 

All  at  once  I  placed  him. 

"  Ah  !"  cried  I,  "  how's  the  ghost  2" 

The  man  had  a  fine  ruddy  color,  but  he  turned 
pale  at  that — pale  as  this  paper. 

"  Why,  you  don't  mean  that  any  thing  did 
really  ever  come  of  it  ?" 

"  Yes,  but  I  do." 

"What?" 

"Well!  I'll  tell  you  all  in  a  breath— that's 
the  best  way,  and  I  don't  like  talking  about  it. 
You  know  I  wanted  to  get  away  ?  Yes.  Well, 
I  got  my  transfer,  came  to  the  Philadelphia  and 
Erie  road,  and  my  friend  went  west. 

"  Maybe  I  didn't  draw  a  long  breath  as  I  got 
under  way  that  first  day,  and  thought  I'd  left  my 
bugaboo  so  far  behind  me.  Every  thing  about  me 
was  so  different  from  what  I  had  quitted,  it  made 
me  feel  like  a  new  man.  You  know  the  country 
the  Philadelphia  and  Erie  runs  through  ?" 

"  I  know  it.  Beautiful,  fresh  and  hilly,  and 
full  of  streams,  with  a  rough -looking  road  and 
curving  truck." 

"  Just  so,"  he  assented,  "  and  I  went  along  it 
cheerful  as  a  cricket,  looking  at  every  thing  and 


280  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

full  of  interest  till  toward  nightfall— and  then- 
well  !— I  shut  my  eyes  and  drove  ahead.  What 
else  could  I  do  ?  but  my  fireman  was  dragging  at 
the  rope  like  mad,  and  cursing  me,  and  the  train 
was  jarring  and  jolting,  and  presently  stopped." 

"  What  did  you  do  that  for  ?"  said  I. 

"  '  My  God,  man,'  cried  he,  '  run  over  a  human 
creature,  and  mash  the  breath  out  of  him,  and 
then  ask  what  I  stop  the  train  for— are  you  drunk 
or  crazy  ?'  and  he  plunged  off  and  I  after  him. 

"  I  didn't  expect  to  see  any  thing,  but,  as  I  came 
up  the  road— off  at  the  left— at  the  right,  you  see. 
as  the  train  ran— there  was  a  bit  of  hill,  and  a 
shambling  old  red  tavern,  with  some  lights  shin 
ing,  on  top  of  it,  and  a  ditch  at  the  bottom,  and  a 
lot  of  people  with  the  conductor  and  passengers 
gathered  about  something  on  the  road,  and  as  I 
came  up— there  was  the  man  with  his  hat  off,  and 
his  open  shirt,  and  the  whiskey  bottle  in  his 
hand,  across  the  track — dead." 


LXV. 

Well,  we  told  our  stories,  and  talked  our  talk 
far  into  the  night,  and  having  slept  the  sleep  of 
the  just,  on  beds  of  deliciously  sweet  hay,  went 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  281 

our  way  thereafter  to  "  fresh,  fields  and  pastures 
new,"  each  holding  its  own  pleasure  or  delight. 
Even  the  mining  towns  had  their  own  special  in 
terest,  though  mining  towns  are  not  absolutely 
lovely. 

Perched  on  the  side  of  a  mountain,  with  cabins 
built  near  the  mouth  of  a  "  claim,"  or  tunnel,  or 
prospect  hole,  these  exhausted  or  abandoned, 
the  cabins  abandoned  with  them,  and  others  built 
at  fresh  centres  of  labor,  making,  of  themselves 
alone,  a  scene  of  desolation. 

Diggings  here,  there,  and  everywhere,  rocks 
blasted,  the  whole  surface  of  the  earth  thrown 
up,  water  sluiced  over  this  point  and  that  to  wash 
away  the  precious  specks,  leaving  the  face  of  na 
ture  bare  to  the  bone — ugly  stones  and  boulders 
and  loose  gravel  baking  in  the  sun. 

Machinery  in  use  and  machinery  idle  and  rust 
ing,  quartz  mills  actively  running,  and  quartz 
mills  weather-beaten  and  in  ruins.  The  streets 
long  narrow  alleys,  steep  as  the  mountains  them 
selves,  one  above  another,  like  birds'  trails — hot, 
dusty,  dirty.  Endless  store  of  "  saloons"  gaping 
on  all  sides.  Nothing  special  to  admire  save  a 
deal  of  generous  and  whole-souled — if  rough — 
human  nature. 


282  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 

And  the  mines — those  silver  mines — had  their 
charm  too. 

Let  me  see — what  was  the  one  at  Central  City  ? 
—the  "Bob  Tail"  — that  we  travelled  into 
through  two  thousand  feet  of  main  tunnel  and 
branch  ?  The  passage-way  just  about  high 
enough  for  us  to  stand  upright,  wet  at  the  sides, 
wet  underfoot,  a  little  tramway  for  the  toy  cars 
and  their  donkeys  serving  to  keep  our  feet  from 
the  worst  of  the  puddles.  A  sunshine  "  hot  as 
an  oven, ' '  blazing  without ;  within,  an  air  cold  and 
forbidding  as  the  grave,  a  blackness  so  dense  that 
for  a  long  time  our  candles  made  no  perceptible 
mark  on  the  gloom,  looking  like  glimmering 
sparks  set  in  ebony.  Advancing,  it  was  to  find 
added  warmth,  in  the  heart  of  the  rock  uncomfort 
able  heat,  and,  as  our  eyes  accustomed  them 
selves  to  the  gloom  and  the  candlelight,  to  a 
tramp  that  was  not  absolutely  guided  by  faith 
alone. 

The  day  "  shift  "  was  going  off,  and  the  night 
il  shift  "  coming  on,  and  we  met  the  miners  jour 
neying  outward  to  fresh  air  and  home.  If  it  were 
but  a  single  man  the  noise  of  approaching  foot 
steps  sounded  like  the  reverberation  of  cannon. 
Til  at  we  would  hear,  by  and  by  a  glimmer  would 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  283 

begin  to  shine,  and  as  it  drew  near  a  spectre 
would  be  revealed — a  really  ghostly  sight.  The 
men  work  in  linen  over-alls  and  rubber  boots. 
These  and  their  faces  completely  coated  with  the 
mixture  made  by  the  wet  rock-dust,  the  blackness 
of  "  giant  powder,"  and  the  silvery  whiteness  of 
the  ore  giving  them  in  the  dim  light  the  effect  of 
creatures  from  another  world,  and  terrifying  ones 
at  that. 

.  I  believe  I  have  recalled  and  recorded  this 
special  mine  because  of  a  small  experience  that 
seems  commonplace  enough  in  the  telling,  but 
that  made  upon  me  a  profound  impression  in  the 
acting. 

Climbing  up  a  long  ladder  to  look  at  the  stalac 
tite  wonders  of  one  of  the  chambers  worked  out 
from  the  main  "  lead,"  we  were  for  a  moment  in 
absolute  darkness,  the  candles  blown  out,  and 
our  guide  delayed  in  striking  a  light.  Standing 
perfectly  still,  with  suspended  breath,  I  heard, 
through  the  Stygian  gloom,  something  like  the 
pulse  of  an  enormous  heart,  and  presently,  with 
an  appalling  clearness  and  loudness,  six  strokes 
sounded.  Nothing  but  the  ticking  and  striking 
of  a  clock,  but  it  seemed  like  the  voice  of  eternity. 


284  A   RAGGED  REGISTER. 


LXVI. 

Alas,  that  "  sweet  things  are  so  fleet !"  Alas, 
that  a  summer  in  Colorado  ever  has  to  end  ! 
Alas,  that  promises  are  so  often  made,  even  to 
oneself,  only  to  be  broken  !  When  I  was  leaving 
that  enchanted  land,  I  pledged  myself  to  return 
to  its  dear  delight  with  another  June,  so  alone 
finding  courage  to  tear  myself  from  its  ineffable 
embrace,  going  from  it  with  so  heavy  a  heart  and 
such  dim  eyes  as  prevented  a  smile  at  any 
atrocity  or  absurdity  by  the  way  until  I  was 
almost  at  my  journey's  end,  and  then  I  had  to 
laugh. 

LXYII. 

The  conductor  who  was  running  us  into  New 
York  had  evidently  riot  travelled  enough  to  ac 
quire  good  manners.  In  his  case  an  acquisition 
greatly  needed  to  cloak  ingrained  deficiencies, 
since  nature  had  endowed  him  with  a  very  bad 
temper  and  an  exceedingly  gruff  voice. 

A  "  lone  lorn"  woman,  looking  anxious  and 
uncomfortable,  and  starting  up  with  each  call 
of  the  brakeman— a  call  that,  as  usual,  might  as 
well  have  been  made  in  Choctaw  for  any  informa- 


A  RAGGED  REGISTER.  285 

lion  it  conveyed,  one  name  sounding  like  any 
other  name,  and  all  of  the  names  sounding  like 
confusion — at  last  mustered  courage  to  inquire 
of  the  conductor  what  was  the  place  we  had  just 
passed,  and  when  we  would  reach  so  and  so. 

"  Why  didn't  you  listen  !"  answered  he  of  the 
gruff  voice.  "  The  town's  just  been  called. 
Haven't  you  any  ears  \  I  don't  know  when  we 
get  to  so  and  so— d'ye  take  me  for  a  time-table  f ' 

The  timid  woman  manifestly  had  both  a  tem 
per  and  a  "gift  of  speech"  under  provocation, 
for  she  responded  quickly,  "  Yes,  I've  got  ears- 
better  than  your  tongue,  too.  And  J  take  you 
for  a  beast." 

It  was  something  to  remember— the  face  of  that 
conductor  as  he  walked  away.  Judging  by  its 
expression  I  suspect  he  answered  all  queries  of 
whatever  import  that  by  chance  were  addressed 
to  him  through  the  next  four-and-twenty  hours. 

And  the  man  himself  deserved  to  be  marked, 
for  in  all  my  journeyings  over  tens— no,  hundreds 
of  thousands  of  miles,  with  railway  officials  to 
be  numbered  by  regiments,  it  was  one  of  the  ex 
ceedingly  few  rude  returns  I  ever  heard  made,  to 
questions  some  of  which  might  test  the  patience  of 
Job  himself. 


286  A  RAGGED  REGISTER. 

Out  of  the  entire  army  I  have  not  seen  a  score  of 
train-conductors  who  were  not  ready  and  willing 
to  give  or  to  secure  all  the  information,  and  be 
stow  all  the  help  that  ignorance  or  helplessness 
or  need  might  require,  and,  as  a  rule,  with  a 
patience  and  good  temper  that  neither  heat  nor 
dust  nor  cold  nor  sleeplessness  nor  fatigue  could 
obliterate.  Let  it  stand  to  their  credit  as  the  testi 
mony  of  "  one  who  knows." 

I  am  writing  it  here  in  New  York,  at  the  end 
of   my  ragged  register    of    people   and  places, 
while  the  summer  grows  apace  and  I  still  have 
not  decided  where  to  go. 

Who  can  tell  me  I 


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